If you've never been to a wedding that ended in a punch-up, you really haven't lived.
There's always something so bracing in seeing people devolve to their true, animal state, drunk and flailing their fists.
Someone at Microsoft clearly has recent experience with such a thing, as the company Monday released a new ad that describes the constant spat between fanpersons of Apple and Samsung as a battle between two tribes of the insane.
We are at a wedding. Everything seems fine, until someone with a very large Galaxy phone gets in the way of someone with an iPhone trying to take a picture of the happy couple.
A few words are said in mutual loathing.
Then the fists, bodies and wedding cake fly.
One man even reveals the Apple logo tattooed on his chest.
If only Windows Phone could enjoy such feisty loyalty. If only all these bellicose, mad people would be more familiar with the Nokia Lumia 920.
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There wouldn't be a need to fight, because, well, everyone would live in a Nokia Lumia socialist utopia, where everything is brightly colored and fluffy.
I am partial to this Nokia phone. Every time I see my engineer friend George brandishing it, I see it as a thing of substance. The Windows Phone design is, at the very least, different and striking.
George's only complaints are the lack of Instagram and the rather unsightly bulge it causes in his pocket.
I am sure that, should he watch these people rage and riot like the Crips and Bloods at a wedding over two other phones, his blood might slightly simmer.
But then his heart might stop racing and his mind might get a word in edgewise. So why haven't these demented phone-wielders heard about the Nokia Lumia 920? Why are the only people who seem to have heard of it the servers at the wedding?
Could it be because the marketing has been a touch recessive -- or even just not very good? Could it be that it has dawned on someone at Microsoft that aggression is preferable to sweet, slightly vapid ads featuring Jessica Alba?
Could it also be that this is, in fact, an ad apologizing for the fact that the marketing for Windows Phone has been so lackluster that no one knows about the very fine Nokia Lumia 920?