I've been having nightmares lately.
Usually, my nightmares involve short people stabbing me in the thigh with sprinter's spikes and calling me awful names. Yes, like "Charlie."
However, lately, I've been wandering the streets in my nightmares, wearing Google Glass and causing serious civic damage.
The problem, you see, is that I already wear prescription glasses. So every time I see promotional puffery for Google's informational eyewear, I try to work out how I could put them on over -- or, perhaps, under -- my own glasses.
My suspicions were aroused further by the idea that I'd never seen Google's Larry Page and Sergey Brin wear any other glasses besides these madly scientific ones.
Swallowing what remains of my pride, I contacted Google and whispered: "Look, I wear specs. Do you have Google Glass specs for spec wearers?"
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I feared I would be patronized out of existence. I feared I would be told that it was pointless to see the outside world, when the inside one peddled by Google would be far more interesting.
And surely I could see as far as the end of my nose without my glasses.
Instead, Google told me very directly that it currently has no solution for allowing the obviously more intelligent sector of humanity that wears glasses to wear Google Glass.
Google's Jay Nancarrow told me: "We're preparing additional models that are designed to work for people who require prescription lenses."
So when will I be able to at least imagine that I could walk the streets or go on a date, while simultaneously following the Golden State Warriors' demise before my eyes -- without crashing into a car, a pedestrian, a dog, or a building?
Nancarrow told me: "We haven't released specific timelines for these, however."
And so, for an unspecific period, my nightmares will continue. Please excuse me, I have an appointment with my therapist.
Updated 11:05 a.m. PT on March 12: Google heard the screams coming from my bedroom last night. The company's Jay Nancarrow contacted me this morning and told me: "Your nightmares may be over soon." He pointed me to a newly constructed, slightly coincidental post on Google+, in which the company says: "The Glass design is modular, so you will be able to add frames and lenses that match your prescription."
Soon? The post adds: "We're still perfecting the design for prescription frames. Although the frames won't be ready for the Explorer Edition's release, hang in there -- you can expect to see them later this year."
Helpfully, there is also a picture of Greg Priest-Dorman, a member of the Google Glass team. He is wearing a prototype for glasses-wearers. It serves well to suggest that perhaps one reason the company is said to be working with designer Warby Parker is to improve on the look of this prototype.