I have been barely able to sleep for concern about Laura Safe.
She is the radio newscaster who, last week, was so enamored of texting her lover, that she walked down some shopping mall steps and plunged into a canal.
As this happened in my hometown of Birmingham, England, I have been contacting those I still know there concerned that, perhaps, her radio voice might have become a little garbled or nervy after the escapade.
Sadly, some readers didn't quite have the same level of care for their fellow human.
More Technically Incorrect
Instead, they just wanted to see the video.
After some little scouring, I have learned that the Telegraph managed to secure CCTV footage of the incident.
The video brings a certain glorious wake to the waters of absurdity that always flow when someone has a texting pratfall.
Even from this imperfect angle, one can see that, had there not been a property company owner ready to risk his suit to save her, this would have been an even nastier affair.
Safe herself has kept her lip stiff, but quivering with laughter at the event.
Indeed, a few days ago, she tweeted: "Literally the most embarrassing/hilarious thing I've ever done! #cringe #splash."
One can only hope that her lover is worth it.