We have all lived through phases when we wished our mothers weren't around.
Few of us, though, have ever issued a press release asking Twitter to ban the very woman who suffered nine months so that we could suffer the slings, the arrows, and all of life's outrageous fortune.
It's true that not all of us are the progeny of rock stars. But Frances Bean Cobain is surely extraordinary for being the daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love.
Momma, it seems, gained the impression that Kurt Cobain's former bandmate, Dave Grohl, had impure intentions toward Ms. Bean. What would any responsible mother do but take to Twitter?
According to USA Today, she tweeted: "I hear from Frannie's roommate that @davegrohl hit on frances. I'm not mad at her, him i am about to shoot dead."
Well, how about that for, um, roses and guns?
Frances Bean, a sweet 19, didn't return fire on Twitter. Instead, she issued a press release that read: "While I'm generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn. I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I'm in a monogamous relationship and very happy. Twitter should ban my mother."
Somehow, I cannot imagine Twitter leaping to be Ms. Bean's moral guardian. It has always been keen to declare that the tweets must flow. Banning Love would be very bad for business.
The thing is that Love has more than one Twitter account. The one upon which she placed these opinions @Cbabymichelle, enjoys protected tweets.
Her other account -- @Courtney -- was, not so long ago, subject to a little lawsuit, after Her Loveness made some unpleasant comments about her former fashion designer. It ended up costing her $430,000 in the first known Twitter defamation settlement.
In a curious generational (and hopeful) twist, while momma has two Twitter accounts, her daughter seems to have none. There are many, many people who claim to be "Frances Bean Cobain", but none is verifiable.
How curious that she should use the almost antediluvian medium of a press release to request that Twitter create a little nirvana by deleting her mother.