Train Wreck

Back in the early '80s, when I was a young engineer at Texas Instruments headquarters in Dallas, my thoughts were mostly preoccupied with women and partying ... except at work, where I occasionally designed chips, too.

I worked with a bunch of college grads from all over the country. We were all single and at the same stage in our lives. There were road trips to New Orleans, New Braunfels (for Wurstfest--where Texans came every year to drink their weight in beer), the Guadalupe River, South Padre Island, and Colorado (where we attempted to ski). The rest of the time, you could find us at local bars--it was always happy hour somewhere.

Those were good times; we played hard and worked hung-over.

One day, I walked in on a conversation about the merits of bringing work home. We were all violently opposed to the idea, except for this one guy, Dirk. Dirk said he thought about the workday ahead on Sunday nights and when he got ready on weekday mornings. Dirk wasn't like the rest of us. He was actually a mature adult.

Still, I remember feeling sorry for the guy. I thought it was sad that work invaded his personal time like that. At the time, I never thought about work until I was actually in the building, and even then, well, we already covered that. Anyway, I was sure that whatever was wrong with Dirk would never happen to me.

Of course, it did, in spades. Around 15 years ago work became my life. It was actually kind of fun for a while. I got a pass to neglect everything, all in the name of work. I even got a workaholic key chain. But after a while, had I been paying attention, I might have noticed more than a few signs that I'd taken it a bit too far.

I started waking up in the middle of the night disoriented because I didn't know where I was. Sometimes I'd come home from an international trip and my wife would "forget" to pick me up at the airport. Then, when I walked in the door, the dog would bark and growl at me.

Wait, it gets worse. After years of living in the same place, none of my neighbors recognized me. Then, one night, I noticed that my wife wasn't wearing her wedding and engagement rings. When I asked her about it, she said she hadn't worn them in nine months. And that probably led directly to the next sign: somebody pulled up in front of my house and served me with divorce papers.

Don't feel sad for me. Believe it or not, I'm still married to the same woman, going on 18 years. It's a miracle. Actually, I think she thinks it's her karmic destiny to keep me from self-destructing. She'll probably be reincarnated as a saint.

Look, if you're going to climb the corporate ladder, and especially if you aspire to the executive ranks, work will infringe on your home life. That's just par for the course. Even now, as a part-time consultant, my mind is on work when it shouldn't be. Perfect example: just today I was running and thinking about a work problem, and that's when I had the idea to write this post.

I get some of my best ideas when I'm in the shower, running, or lying in bed half asleep. I like to work at night when my wife is watching TV, or laying out by the pool on the weekend. Hell, I actually enjoy my work. And an occasional business trip gives my wife and me a reason to miss each other.

There's nothing wrong with the pursuit of money, achievement, or whatever it is you call success. And, in this age of cell phones, BlackBerrys and notebook computers, work is more a part of our personal lives than ever before. It's only a problem when work, or the pursuit of success, becomes so much a part of your personal life that it impedes your pursuit of happiness.

It's all about knowing where to draw the line.

Only you know when you're not spending enough time with your family. Or when you're not working out enough, eating too much fast food, or otherwise neglecting your health and well-being. You know when you're not getting enough "me" time for you to effectively manage stress, relax and gain some perspective.

The irony is that, if you're a workaholic, you'll be the last person to notice any of that stuff. Unless, of course, you're reading this.

The bottom line: As I've said before, working hard and being driven are good things, especially in terms of climbing the corporate ladder. But you need to be mindful of overdoing it.

This may be counterintuitive, but in my experience, when I put too much pressure on myself, it always came back to haunt me. And the times I played hooky when I shouldn't have, never mattered in the end.

When I learned to relax and have fun working, that's when my career took off. Remember that the next time someone asks you why you're killing yourself for work.

In a prior post I whined about the shortcomings of climbing the corporate ladder. What I neglected to mention is that, after years of horrific behavior modification that some call management training, I eventually became pretty good at it. In fact, I was a manager and an executive for more than 20 years.

During that time I developed a pretty good sense, from both sides of the equation, of the qualities that executives look for in up-and-comers. So, if you're one of those gluttons for punishment (and compensation) who seek a place in the esteemed ranks of corporate management, here's some free advice on how best to get there.

One caveat, though. Depending on how you interpret them, these qualities can have different meanings. They can even be watered down into almost meaningless, generic dribble. I've seen that done in dozens of corporate "core value" statements. So I tried to provide meaningful descriptions to for clarity's sake.

Ten qualities executives seek in up-and-comers:

Passion. Driven to get the job done and do it right; passion for one's function, the marketplace, the company's product, work in general; high energy level

Intelligence. There's no substitute for intelligence, with emphasis on insight, analysis of complex problems, deductive reasoning, out of the box thinking

Fearless. Willing to take risks, embrace new challenges, make mistakes, and say what's on one's mind without fear of consequences; opposite of CYA mentality

Leadership. Innate ability to motivate people to willingly do one's bidding, especially when there's no direct benefit for them to do so ... Read more

When Michael Kanellos--CNET News editor-at-large--asked me to do this blog, he said, among other things, "people spend their whole lives bitching about work and yet we never read about it."

"Well, yeah, that's true, but I want to write about dysfunctional executives and companies," I complained. "You know, I want to write about train wrecks."

"Sure, you can do that too," he said, the way an adult appeases a whining child. "But I'm telling you, focusing on career and management will be cool. You know the topic, you can be funny about it, and people care about it, yet mainstream media pays almost no attention to it."

As I sat there, pondering the apparent wisdom of his idea, Michael delivered his coup de grace: "Climbing the ladder sucks and everyone is obsessed with it, yet few speak out on it."

Wow, I thought, ain't that the truth. Perceptive guy, that Kanellos.

I had certainly spent a good part of my life obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder, almost lost my marriage over it. And for what? For the money? For the pats on the back? For the knowledge that I'd done something with my life that makes a difference?

I don't know about you, and I never wanted to admit this, but I don't think I did it for any of those reasons. I think I did it because I was programmed to do it. My dad grew up in the Depression and thought he was doing the right thing--drilling into me that nothing was more important than a successful career. ... Read more