(Credit:
Artwork by Arthur Rackham 1909, executive's heads courtesy of their respective companies, collage by Tobak)
Every kid knows the fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel, but I bet you've never heard the story of Jerry and Sue, right? Well, read on.
Not so long ago, in merry old Silicon Valley, lived a family named Yahoo. When hard times and famine hit, the father - an old advertising executive named Bostock - led two of his children - Jerry and Sue - into the forest.
Why did Bostock do that to his kids? Some say he did it so he'd have fewer mouths to feed, but nobody knows his motives for sure.
Lost in the forest, Jerry and Sue finally came upon a huge house made of gingerbread. The house was called Microsoft, and inside lived a witch named Ballmer. Some say the witch was evil, but he was more likely just desperate to reinvigorate his ancient, slumbering home with some youth. ... Read more
It's amazing how, in the modern computing world, an average workday can go to hell with no apparent warning. Check this out.
I woke up this morning with the usual list of 30 things I needed to get done, knowing full well that I wouldn't get to most of them. Just another day in the working world, right? Not exactly. ... Read more
If you've ever been involved in any sort of home construction, you know it always takes longer than the contractors say it will. For the past 10 weeks, the Tobaks have been doing a swimming pool project. So far, so good.
Last night, as the Bay Area cooled down from a three-day heat wave, my wife said, "It would sure be nice to get water in the pool in the next two weeks."
"What do you mean?" I exclaimed, "You know the pool company is scheduled to come out tomorrow and fill it up on Tuesday. Two weeks? We'll be swimming in two days!"
"Uh huh," she said.
The next morning, my wife pulled the pillow off my snoring head and announced, "We have no water."
I replied with a blank, bleary-eyed stare.
"The pool guys are all here and we have no water."
"Okay," I replied, "I'm getting up."
Apparently, a stuck check valve in our irrigation system had been dumping precious water faster than our well pump could pump it. Our holding tanks were dry.
No water meant the pool guys couldn't do their thing. An hour later, the whole gang packed up and left.
When you live in a rural mountainous area, this sort of thing happens from time to time. That means every few years.
So I'm sitting here trying to figure out how my wife knew something was going to happen. She couldn't possibly have known. Wait, I know. She sabotaged the irrigation system just to appear prescient. Nah, that's just crazy.
When I asked her about it, she said she'd just had a feeling.
That got me thinking: Is there such a thing as intuition? And if so, what is it and how does it matter to you and me? ... Read more
(Credit:
Steve Tobak)
Here's the first installment of Train Wreck's first recurring post: Dysfunctional Executive Watch. It'll show up whenever there's enough material. Enjoy the lunacy, and let us know if you've got something to report.
You've got fraud
On Monday, the Securities and Exchange Commission filed civil charges against eight former executives of AOL Time Warner for fraudulently inflating online advertising revenue by more than $1 billion. Four of the executives agreed to pay millions in fines and return ill-gotten gains. Charges against the other four, including former CFO John Michael Kelly, are still pending.
The company had previously agreed to fork over $500 million to settle civil and criminal charges brought by the SEC and the Justice Department. ... Read more
Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't believe I've ever seen a negotiation handled, with all due respect, as dysfunctionally and amateurishly as the way Yahoo has handled its negotiation with Microsoft.
Saturday's shenanigans seemed more like a reality television show than two industry giants sitting down to negotiate a deal.
Steve Ballmer
(Credit: Microsoft)Unfortunately, negotiating with Microsoft is not a job for amateurs. There was a time when the two companies were more-or-less evenly positioned in this dual, but that time has come and gone. The weekend's activities have left Microsoft holding all the cards. ... Read more
I've got a question for you: How are you doing? Sure, of course you're fine. Here's a follow up: How do you know you're doing fine? Tougher question, huh?
What's that, you have a question for me? Why am I asking these inane questions?
Because, when people ask us how we're doing, we respond automatically. I'm fine, we're fine, everything's fine. After all, if we engaged everyone in a rant about the gory truth, nothing would ever get done.
But it doesn't stop there. We don't even engage ourselves in a dialogue about the gory truth, and for much the same reason. We're too busy "living."
The truth is that seemingly simple questions can actually be pretty loaded, so loaded that we'd sometimes rather not know the answer. We have all these sayings about leaving well enough alone. Why upset the apple cart? Why open a can of worms? Don't fix it if it isn't broken. ... Read more
Fear is a human emotion. It's part of our survival mechanism--the adrenaline fight or flight response. In ancient times when a caveman felt fear, he ran and hid or readied himself for battle. Those who paid attention to their fear survived; those who didn't, well, let's just say their descendants probably aren't around to read this.
Having courage does not mean ignoring fear. It means facing fear head-on and doing the right thing anyway. At least that's my definition. If you fail to face fear and act appropriately you're not necessarily a coward, but you're not the best you can be either.
The most successful people on the planet are the ones who face the cold, hard truth of reality and act accordingly. They don't surround themselves with "yes men" and they don't view the world through rose-colored glasses. ... Read more
After describing a particularly exciting consulting opportunity, a friend called me "lucky." That got me thinking: Is he right? Is luck a component in business success, or is it all about knowledge and experience. And if luck does play a role, how important is it? Can it be influenced, or is that taboo by definition?
To answer those questions I first did a little research. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines luck as "a: a force that brings good fortune or adversity, or b: the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual."
Gee, "luck" sounds a lot like "competition" to me. ... Read more
Sometimes I'm so uninspired I can't come up with a decent blog post to save my life. When that happens, I turn to what comforts me: numbers. Yes, I know how weird that sounds. What can I say, I'm a geek.
Anyway, I just got to wondering how investors in various technology companies fared over the long haul. I was just as interested in how technology companies performed versus companies with a more traditional business model. ... Read more
Technology companies run into trouble from time to time. Today it's Yahoo, Dell , and Motorola. Tomorrow it could be Google, Cisco Systems, or Apple.
Lest we forget, it wasn't that long ago that Apple flat-lined for an entire decade before ousting Gil Amelio in favor of ex-chief Steve Jobs. Jobs restructured the company by first cutting Newton and other unprofitable products, then introducing exciting new core products like iMac, and finally branching out into consumer devices like iPod and iPhone.
But that's nothing new. It happens to most companies, sooner or later. ... Read more
