Sometimes it's hard to know why people do things. But it's easy to see why some creative minds have come up with Woofer.
This is a site whose look bears a remarkable resemblance to Twitter--right down to its pale-blue colors. But its conceit is to create an entirely new form of blogging: "macroblogging." You see, Woofer requires every post to have a minimum of 1,400 characters. Yes, minimum. This, of course, contrasts with Twitter's "microblogging" platform, which limits users to 140 characters per tweet.
This means that finally, the world has a site that devotes itself to the full, deep gamut of people's literary skills.
Naturally, it is hard to quote a woof in full. However, woofs seem to vary between disquisitions on Twitter, such as this from the culturally monikered Sendafart, to this peculiar effort, consisting of the word "aaaaaaaaaaaaa" and purporting to come from the quill of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.
Woofer has a clear link explaining in almost 1,400 characters that it is not affiliated with Twitter. The link reads: "Is this Twitter?" Click on it, and you see, in very large type, "No," coupled with a link to the site's legal notice.
However, some have complained that once they create a woof, the site somehow manages to post their real Twitter profile picture.
Woofer is run by a concern called Join the Company, an organization that claims to "build entertaining Web sites that change the way people use the Internet."
When you look at the site's three principles of woofing, you begin to believe that Woofer truly will be the salvation of the language: "1. Be eloquent. 2. Use adverbs. 3. DEA (don't ever abbreviate)," the site says.
I dream of a world of macrobloggers who write in full, who never use acronyms, and who create an online oasis for complete literary expression in a world of dogs eating dogs and merely offering sound bites. But let's see how long it takes before Woofer gets caught in a flock of terse legal complaints.
Thanks to Google, they know where you live. Thanks to Twitter, they know when you floss your teeth.
Now a devious, perhaps ludicrously insane, hacker has taken it further. He (must be a 'he.' Women can spell and are never rude) found his way into the twitterdom of celebrities and tinkered with their tweets.
For example, he attempted to suggest to twitterers of Britney Spears foul words that would surely never have emerged from her imagination. He implied to followers of Rick Sanchez that the CNN anchor partakes of scientifically concocted substances, surely a (free)baseless lie.
Even the President-elect's updates were allegedly downgraded to the level of a sad shock jock. On the other hand, Bill O'Reilly's falsified twittering, while misspelled, was, to some, rather touching.
But may I be the first to ask the important question: What about the other 29? Twitter declared that 33 accounts were blessed with messages whose genesis may well, indeed, have been a bottle.
This is celebrity astrophysicist, Margherita Hack. I wonder what she thinks of Twitter.
(Credit: CC Gianmaria TM)I can find only meager evidence of what these other 29 might have been. The Huffington Post was one. But there could have been more celebrities in this twitternapping. So I am concerned that the spoilsports at Twitter found these celebrity tweenage alterations before the unwashed followers were brainwashed and removed them.
Could it be that the hacker managed to improve on the deep tweeting of Tyler Perry (the chap who brought you, oh, every movie with 'Tyler Perry' in front of it)?
Real Tyler Perry sample: "Our goal is to truly maximize the presence of the Tyler Perry brand via Twitter--Make it a point to tell your networks to follow in."
Possible Hacked Tyler Perry sample: "I am sitting on my sofa. Hey, could I turn this into a movie?"Could it be that he hacked into the everyday movements of NBA legend Shaquille O'Neal?
Real Shaquille O'Neal sample: "Even the aliens no me, da ones real far, i speak to em like ibadablaa, Jigamagla, bockeraaa."
Possible Hacked Shaquille O'Neal sample: "Sippin' some Earl Grey tea, Placido Domingo lappin' at my ears."And is it possible he paraphrased musician Dave Matthews?
Real Dave Matthews sample: "Snow in Seattle. Snow still snowing. A day late and better better better. Snow snow. Snow. Doughnuts and coffee."
Possible Hacked Dave Matthews sample: "Dull, dull music. Music still musing. Dull, dull. Dull. Ten beers and massive bag of taco chips. Just to get through it."
So, please, Twitter, we need to know about all the victims. This is the tech equivalent of rubbernecking. Which, in a way, is what Twitter is all about.
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