A survey of 3000 pet owners has revealed that tech gadgets are proving hazardous to their pets' health.
No, this seems to be nothing to do with dangerous rays being projected from their electronics. Rather, it seems that our dogs, cats, and, goodness, guinea pigs, haven't quite got used to the rapid proliferation of domestic electronic playthings. Neither, apparently, have reptiles and birds.
For a reason that remains slightly unclear, iPods are, apparently, most likely to injure cats. I am not sure if this is because the cats are slipping the headphones into their ears and turning up the volume too loud. Or because their paws still haven't got the hang of the random shuffle.
However, Apple's wonderful invention comes top of the survey's "gadget most likely to injure pets" league table. 15% of respondents appear to have cited their iPod in pet accidents. While around 10% cited the laptops, remote controls, Plasma TVs and Wiis.
Perhaps the most moving example of pet pain is the story of Pugsley, the Jack Russell cross who cannot resist jumping at dogs that are displayed in the supremely realistic HD of his owner's Plasma.
His owner, Jemma Scott, appears to be so inconsiderate of Pugsley's instincts and feelings that she leaves her Playstation wired up to her TV. Naturally, Pugsley, having failed to make sniffing contact with the projected pooch, then bounces off the screen and gets entangled in the Playstation wires.
With a grim and repeated inevitability, the Playstation then falls on Pugsley's head.
This is clearly a huge and growing problem in our already troubled society. Which is why I am delighted to have discovered that pets can now have their own technological playthings.
Take the PetsCell, for example. Yes, a waterproof cellphone that attaches just under your dog's slobbery parts. The dog has its own number and you can call him whenever you like. To call him back to your side, or just to ask him how he is.
While only 5.8% of the survey's respondents actually said that their own cellphones caused injury to their pets (they swallowed them? they cut their paws on the keyboards?), you may be disturbed that the same number admitted that their pets had been hurt by their karaoke machine.
However, in the midst of all this anguish, you may also want to pause to consider who sponsored this fascinating pet gadget injury survey.
It was a company called Petplan.
You will be stunned to discover that Petplan sells insurance policies for pets.
Let's create our own survey here. How many of your gadgets have caused injury to your pets? Please be honest, now. Even those of you who are secret salamander owners and have a karaoke machine.
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