As Domino's Pizza proved last week, it is not easy to find youth of today who will perform their jobs without putting cheese up their nose and then down onto a sandwich.
So how can one not admire rival restaurant chain Pizza Hut? Unbowed and uncowed by the social media difficulties Domino's experienced with their booger video, Pizza Hut is looking for a Twittering intern.
Yes, someone who can take those 140 characters and turn them into a positive pizza life force.
If you wander with purpose to the Pizza Hut home page, you will discover these magic words of hope: "Apply to be the first Pizza Hut Twintern."
Will we soon be reading tweets telling of Pizza Hut delivery boys and desperate housewives? One can only hope.
(Credit: CC Tracy Hunter/Flickr)What will this exalted position demand? Well, according to Bob Kraut, Pizza Hut's vice president for marketing communications, this is not a position for the sour of heart.
The job, he told The New York Times, will mean that the chosen Twitterer will be: "Our social media journalist, chronicling in 140 characters or less what's going on at Pizza Hut."
All of it? Even if the Twintern discovers indeterminate, possibly human, droppings adorning the Hawaiian toppings in Chattanooga? Even if the Twintern happens upon extra-marital exercises, brought on by the pressures of crusty excellence, in the fridges of Fargo?
If you want to aspire to this extraordinarily happening position, applications are being taken from this morning. Mr. Kraut expects the finest candidates to use their social media ingenuity.
And he is an optimistic sort. "I guess if we melt the servers on this kind of thing, it'll be a good thing."
May I bid a hearty good morning to the IT department at Pizza Hut? Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you have fine overtime rates.
In its trial by social media, Domino's Pizza seems to already have been found guilty.
Two employees of the Domino's in Conover, N.C., made a video which featured one of them putting cheese up his nostrils (and then putting it on a sandwich) and passing a salami around his wind-passing backside (and then putting it on a sandwich).
The employees, Kristy Hammonds and Michael Setzer, have been fired and charged with delivering prohibited goods.
Yet this is not the first time employees of fast-food outlets have used YouTube as an emotional outlet from their rewarding work.
Last year, Burger King fired an employee for making a video while bathing in the restaurant's kitchen sink and uploading it to MySpace. Yet the brand seems to march confidently on.
Why is this Domino's video appearing to have such a deleterious effect on the brand? Perhaps it's that it has simply gained a viral life far beyond its makers' expectations.
Or perhaps it's that in recessionary times people are relying far more on fast food to get through their budgetary week and are desperate, despite stories to the contrary, to know that these restaurants are sanitary.
While Ms. Hammonds and Mr. Setzer are at pains to point out that the food was not actually served (and, of course, we all believe them), the blog Good as You seems to have uncovered four videos in total featuring the pair.
And nauseating viewing they really do make. Especially the one showing, presumably, Mr. Setzer wiping a dish sponge on his bare backside.
Domino's first reaction, one of caution, has now been replaced by something that bears a resemblance to panic.
Domino's President Patrick Doyle has posted his own video to YouTube, in which he apologizes for the incident and attempts to reassure. His arguments seem reasonable.
However, as you watch it, you wonder if the video just might make things a little worse in the short term. Mr. Doyle fails to look into the camera. Instead his eyes peer at 45 degrees, presumably in the direction of a script. The effect is not reassuring.
What is even more unfortunate for Domino's is that the posting of the video apology has caused even more YouTube commentary about the company, some of it extremely unflattering.
And to think that just a couple of days ago, Domino's was madly touting its Bailout Package. It's Big Taste Bailout Package, to be precise. Will you be nosing through the Domino's menu tonight?
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