Technically Incorrect

It seems like a case of biting the hand that feeds you and then pinches you in that little place you've never told your wife about.

Today's announcement that Illinois' Cook County Sheriff is suing Craigslist for being the largest source of prostitution in America, seems extremely odd.

No, no. Not an overzealous police raid on a Cook County bordello. Just a Cook County tourist pic.

(Credit: CC Joe M500)

I just called a couple of people who know about these things and they tell me that one of the easiest ways for police to round up a few workers of the Paid Sex Sorority is to wander along to Craigslist and take down some of the advertisers' particulars.

So why would the Sheriff feel the need to sue an organization that is allegedly such a good source of information?

Doesn't this all seem just a little sado-masochistic? Perhaps readers in Cook County have a more intimate perspective.

J.P. Weichel claims he was "venting." But his alleged comments in Craigslist's Rants and Raves section might now lead him to a room where the vents let in a chilling draft.

Colorado prosecutors have decided to bring a case of criminal libel against Mr. Weichel.

(Credit: CC A Cloudman)

Apparently, the state has a law, dating from the 1880s, that says you can be prosecuted for "blackening the name of one who is dead." Or for exposing "the natural defects of one who is alive, and thereby to expose him to public hatred, contempt, or ridicule."

This leads one to wonder whether The Onion is published in Colorado--or whether anyone there has publicly expressed an opinion about the new Guns 'N Roses album.

Mr. Weichel is alleged to have said some fairly unflattering things about his ex and her lawyer. Court documents show posts that suggested she bartered sex for legal advice. And that child services had paid her a visit because of an injury to a child.

Today, my local Craigslist has Rants and Raves by people who hate their jobs, including one worried person who claims that his or her boss is continually manipulating his private parts. And I confess to being a little lost as to why Mr. Weichel might have chosen this particular medium rather than, say, a street corner or a local bar. But this quaint little Colorado law carries with it the prospect of 18 months of unpleasant confinement.

One does wonder why this particular case of alleged libel has taken on a criminal bent. Perhaps readers in Colorado might know a little more.

His name is Craig(slist). Daniel Craig(slist).

In a ruling I find a little perplexing, although my ruling is that most of life is a little perplexing, a judge in a Los Angeles Supreme Court left Craigslist stirred and shaken.

They were forced to reveal the name of the dastardly villain who tried to sell two tickets to the Oscars for $2500. Each.

The man only identified himself as Daniel on the site.

Apparently, those who are invited to the splendidly brief and modest affair, are explicitly told that they must not sell their tickets to anyone.

The reason? Thus spake the Academy's attorney, David Quinto: "If you don't know who's inside the theater, it's very difficult to provide security."

I am concerned about the security of this argument. And not just because when I'm in the 3.30 showing of Mamma Mia at the Metreon, how do I know who's in there with me?

Who's that bloke with the famous bald guy? Call security.

(Credit: Alan Light)

It appears the Academy feels secure if some actor or cinematographer has a few too many and swings a fist or seven at Sean Penn, Daniel Craig or some wizard who had to light Michael Douglas's close-up.

But they fear that, if sold, the tickets might fall into the hands of, oh, i don't know, eco-terrorists protesting the carbon footprint of The Matrix trilogy. Or, perhaps, a Serbian documentary maker who wants to prove that Jude Law's hair in fact began its life on a three-year-old sprinter at Belmont Park. Or, even worse, a fan.

Is it not possible that certain invitees give away their tickets anyway?

To friends, acquaintances, fellow agitators or folks on the street (couldn't you imagine Daniel Day-Lewis doing just that? Hey, he's DANIEL Day-Lewis, right? No, it couldn't be. He would have found a much more fun Craigslist name than Daniel.)?

Here we might have some poor soul who had, perhaps, not enjoyed producers' graces for a while. Perhaps he had not been nominated for the fourteenth consecutive year. Perhaps all he wanted was five grand with which to drown his sorrows and to enjoy the company of his few remaining friends.

But, no, now he is going to be accused of attempting to aid trespass to the event.

Hollywood makes movies about trespassers all the time. They walk into parties, get the girl and annoy her boyfriend. They are heroes.

Which makes me wonder. Is this a secret scheme on the part of some inspired Oscar-winning producer to have Daniel Craig(slist) convicted and then make a movie out of his story?

Today, the Academy's attorney admitted that it now knows who Daniel really is.

Perhaps the inspired producer has already to decided to cast Jack Nicholson in the role of a down and out sound editor, who once had everyone's ear, but then fell on hard times, hit the bottle, lost his family, and walked the streets, until he had to pawn his final treasured possession, the tux he always used to wear to the Oscars. Joan Allen has, perhaps, been lined up play his ex-wife.

Just like the judge's order to Craigslist, it will be a morality tale.