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April 2, 2008 2:26 PM PDT

Rumor confirmed: Google may buy my car

by Jim Kerstetter
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I was surprised this has become public, but I suppose I should weigh in now that reports have filtered onto the blogosphere: It's true. Google is in talks to buy my car.

I was reluctant to discuss this for obvious reasons. These talks could break down at any time and there is no clear indication when they'll be concluded and the final price could change dramatically before negotiations have completed.

Nonetheless, with the equally odd acquisition rumor floating Wednesday that Google could acquire the travel site Expedia (now watch them actually do this and make me look like a yutz) and the rumor a few weeks back that Google was looking to acquire my parent company CNET Networks, I thought it was time I owned up to my own talks with the search king.

Sure, Google can buy a new Subaru. But my used Subaru is cheaper.

(Credit: Subaru)

My discussions with Google to this point lead me to conclude that they are, in fact, kicking the tires on my 2003 Subaru Impreza Outback Sport. Google and its executives, who have invested in hybrid vehicles, lovely shuttle buses for employees, and a cool jet, recently discovered they also need four-wheel-drive vehicles that get decent gas mileage and can fit through a typically small garage door in San Francisco, where my vehicle has been housed since its acquisition from a Subaru dealership in Redwood City, Calif.

At the risk of impacting my talks with Google and drawing the ire of the U.S. Securities & Exchange Commission, I'd like to point out what's great about my Subaru: In addition to that decent gas mileage and ability to fit through a narrow garage door, it's excellent in the snow and comes with a ski rack that can be modified to carry bicycles. It has a handy outside thermometer and is a perfect car for the typical Google employee who lives in the city but likes to do outdoorsy stuff on the weekends.

Google is hesitating for several issues: An unfortunate encounter with an automated car wash in 2004 left scratches on the front hood and my 4-year-old daughter's penchant for grinding the remains of peanut butter-filled pretzels into the back seat upholstery has left little, dry sticky marks that won't go away.

But sales price appears to be the biggest sticking point. The Blue Book value on my car is roughly $11,000 and Google is holding firm. But based on recent tech deals, such as Microsoft's investment in Facebook, I believe a fair asking price is $3.42 million. Larry Page, with whom I'm negotiating directly, has so far balked at this price, but I think when he sees that the oil-changing and tire-rotation record on this vehicle is outstanding, he'll at least meet halfway.

Stay tuned. I'll have more on these talks as they unfold. And yes, I'm kidding. But I wish we were kidding about the Expedia rumor. By the way, Expedia shares were up 4.32 percent to close at $25.13 per share on Wednesday's news.

August 7, 2007 11:51 PM PDT

The Onion brings its irreverent satire to MySpace

by Caroline McCarthy
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NB: The original title of this post, "Google To Acquire Controlling Stake in Microsoft," never made it past the draft stages.

Expect an onslaught of emo jokes: Satire publication The Onion will be providing audio, video, and print content to social-networking site MySpace through a partnership announced on Tuesday night. There is now a branded Onion page on MySpace, with article and blog content as well as audio podcasts; additionally, content from the publication's online video hub, the Onion News Network, is now available on the MySpaceTV portal.

The press release issued by the New York-based Onion (a full version is posted at the Silicon Alley Insider) is naturally tongue-in-cheek. "The news business is like the tobacco business: you want to reach new readers at as young and impressionable an age as possible," Sean Mills, president of The Onion, is quoted as saying. "MySpace was, of course, a natural partner in that regard."

"The Wall Street Journal is all well and good, but the Onion News Network represents the best in hard-hitting investigative journalism (at least on MySpace)," Jeff Berman, general manager of MySpace TV, added facetiously. "Also, we lost a bet."

The press release also gave some statistics that presumably are not a joke: The Onion boasts 4 million online readers and 3 million print readers per month. It's not yet clear how much of the Onion content on MySpace will be exclusive to the new branded page other than a new "Staff Blog," but we have pinged MySpace representatives and will provide more detail on Wednesday.

Originally posted at The Social
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