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Quick, by a show of hands, how many of you have workplace stress? Almost everybody, great.

Now, how much of that stress do you think is self-imposed? What, no hands?

Well, I'm not surprised, but you may be in for a shock.

You see, most people make their own stress. Why do they do it? How should I know? I'm not a shrink. I'm just here to tell you that a lot of it is self-imposed.

Over the years, I've noticed something lots of techies have in common--they like things to be black-and-white. Sorry if that offends you, but in my experience, it's true.

Unfortunately, the real world is gray. Like it or not, living and thriving in a gray world, especially a gray workplace, involves negotiating. None of us are born with negotiating skills. We have to learn them. This will help.

Here are five things you need to know to negotiate effectively. They'll help you in all your work-related relationships - with peers, managers, subordinates, customers, vendors, everyone. They'll help you to negotiate better compensation packages, promotions, and even exit packages.

Who knows, they may even help to improve your personal and personal business relationships. After all, so much of family and business life involves negotiating. ... Read more

How many of us have driven home in anger, after a frustrating day at work, and declared to our spouse or the nearest person who will listen, "I can do that incompetent jerk's job way better"? The incompetent jerk is, of course, the boss.

At that point you have three options:

Option 1: Realize that you're full of hot air and do nothing.
Option 2: Quit and go to work for somebody else.
Option 3: Try to get your boss' job.

This post will give you three tips for accomplishing Option 3. Just to be clear, I don't mean getting your boss fired and you getting promoted in his or her place; I mean getting a promotion to that job level, either at your company or elsewhere.

I've done it lots of times. Sometimes it works out; sometimes it doesn't. Six years ago, I was so frustrated with my CEO that I responded to a call from an executive recruiter. Before long, I was CEO of an optical networking company. This was the opportunity I was looking for, a chance to see if I really was better at my boss' job than he was.

Seven months later, my company went bankrupt, a victim of the dot-com bust. True story. ... Read more

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, 4 of the top 10 and 9 of the top 25 in-demand jobs over the next ten years are in technology fields. We're talking software engineers, engineering managers, IT managers, network and systems analysts and administrators, all kinds of technology jobs.

It's hard to argue with the fed's data. Bubble and burst cycles aside, technology fields have been good to us all, and that's not likely to change anytime soon. That means that a good chunk of CNET's audience probably won't be hurting for employment for the foreseeable future.

That's all good, right? Well, sort of.

If your current job is all you aspire to, all you're passionate about, all you've spent your life dreaming about, then great, you've hit the jackpot. Have a happy life and don't look back.

If, on the other hand, you feel unfulfilled some or most of the time, then I have a message for you. You're playing it too safe. You need to take more risks.

In my experience, the single biggest factor holding people like you back from fulfilling their dreams is unwillingness to take risks.

I've seen it a hundred times and I've heard every excuse imaginable: I don't want to work those kinds of hours, it's not good to jump companies so much, what if I fail, what if I succeed, I lack confidence, how do I know if I'm capable, it's outside of my comfort zone, I'm not this enough or I'm not that enough.

All those excuses have one common denominator: fear. You can make all the excuses you want, but if you're not happy and won't go for it, it's fear that's holding you back. Plain and simple.

Look, technical and engineering folks are typically a conservative lot. And that's a good quality to have. But you only live once, and if you wake up in the morning and go to bed at night feeling like there's got to be more to this life, then you're being too conservative.

And just for the record, I was a technical guy, I had excuses, I was afraid. My father worked for the post office, for God's sake. Talk about a conservative upbringing. I was there. I know of what I speak. I didn't come up with this stuff for a blog post; I came up with it for myself, a long time ago.

This isn't a do as I say, not as I do message. I walked the talk.

You know why I'm confident that risk-taking is good for you? Because, my interpretation of the Labor Department's data is that you've got the biggest safety net of all time under you. Use it.

The American dream is out there waiting for you. And we're not just talking about compensation, buying toys, living comfortably, financial independence, or providing for loved ones. We're talking about personal fulfillment and the pursuit of happiness. We're talking about going to bed eagerly anticipating what the morning will bring. We're talking about waking up when you're 70 or 80 and knowing that you lived a full life, that you gave it your best shot.

If you try and fail, that's okay. At least you tried. What more can you ask of yourself? The only true failure is failing to try. Regret is a bitter pill to swallow, my friends. I've seen it. Trust me; you don't want to go that route.

Here's the bottom line:
It's okay to be afraid. It's normal, human. Bravery is being afraid but doing the right thing anyway. Be brave. Believe in yourself. Take risks. Face your fear and don't look back. The safety net is there, just in case. But you know what? I don't think you're going to need it.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word salesman? A pushy insurance or car salesman with no self respect? Those nice people who accost you the second you walk into a clothing store? Or maybe the folks you can never find at Home Depot.

Wait, I bet you think salespeople were put on this planet to babble endlessly and waste your time until you're ready to hang yourself just to make it stop. But you can't do that, so instead you give in and buy whatever it is they're selling.

Did I get that right?

Well, guess what? I don't care if you're an IT professional, a musician, a consultant, a CEO, a recruiter, an engineer, a doctor, an accountant, or a professional athlete. You're also a salesperson. That's right, we're all in sales. You, me, your boss, your lawyer, your spouse, your kids; everyone's in sales.

You see, from time to time, each of us is called upon to sell something. It could be a product, a service, a plan, an idea, a creation, a story to a judge or jury, or even oneself (presumably for a job, not into slavery). And more often than not, it's actually very important that we succeed. I don't know why; that's just the way it is.

It's hard for me to imagine anyone being successful in life without having the ability to sell when necessary. And yet, we think of it as something unsavory or even unethical. Not only does the idea fill some people with disgust, fear or self-loathing, but to make matters worse, most people aren't even good at it. ... Read more

When I was a little kid I was scared of all kinds of things: my dad, the neighborhood bully, yellowjackets, monsters under the bed, ghosts in the closet, you name it. Now I'm a grown-up and I'm not scared of anything...except my wife.

But it wasn't that long ago that someone scared me even more than my wife did. My boss. Actually, I had a string of scary bosses. Managers definitely have a way of being intimidating, and there's a very good reason for that. It's because they can.

Bosses can bully you, scream at you, threaten you, and even terrorize you. Most importantly, they can fire you or even worse--make your life so miserable you wish they'd fire you. In fact, at-will employment gives bosses the power to do almost anything they want, as long as it's legal.

What can you do about it? Well, you can do anything you want; it's a free country. You can quit, yell at your wife, kick the dog, punch a hole in your kitchen wall, or become a monk and submit to a vow of poverty. But all that's likely to get you is divorced, bitten, a broken hand, and a shaved head. ... Read more

Malicious attackers beware, a Monster may be coming after you.

After a malicious attackers pilfered job candidate information from its job seeker database, Monster located the attacker's rogue server and pulled the plug, the company announced Wednesday. But fallout from that episode remains.

The hooligans, who loaded a Trojan horse called Infostealer.Monstres on the company's resume database, got access to job candidates' names, addresses, phone numbers and e-mail addresses.

They weaseled their way in by gaining access to a legitimate log-in credential reserved for employers, via a computer that had been infected with the malicious software.

Now, Monster is assessing the extent of the damage. The company is investigating the number of job seekers who were affected and will be contacting them. Monster is also offering information on avoiding online scams, phishing and fraud during a job search.

My recent post on dysfunctional workplaces sparked a moral dilemma, of sorts. It goes like this:

You have a choice. On the one hand, you can spend your career playing it safe, hanging back, being a yes man (or woman), and making sure your ass is always covered. We'll call that the "safe path." Or you can take risks, be passionate about what you believe in, speak up, stand up for what's right, and possibly commit political suicide in the process. We'll call that the "risky path."

Which path do you choose?

I, for one, chose the risky path, and it worked pretty well for me. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I didn't so much choose it as it chose me. That path always felt like it was part of me, in my blood. I could no more play it safe than I could change the color of my eyes from brown to green.

Let's assume that, unlike me, you have a choice. As much as I would like to influence that choice by telling you mine was the better way, I can't. The truth is that I have no idea.

For all I know some people aren't meant to rattle cages, challenge the status quo, throw caution to the wind. They either can't or don't wish to live their lives on a razor's edge.

Does your boss act out and throw tantrums like a spoiled child?
Does your company ship most of its product the last 24 hours of the quarter?
Are you afraid to bring up certain hot-button issues in meetings for fear of being humiliated?
Do you spend more time covering your ass than you do sitting on it?
Is your company in a perpetual state of limbo because nobody can make a decision?
Does your company's mission statement change weekly?

These are all signs of a dysfunctional workplace. But don't fret; you're not alone. In fact, an entire lexicon has grown up around dysfunctional corporate behavior. See if you can recognize some of the issues that drive you and your co-workers nuts in these definitions:

Analysis paralysis. Chronic debating that obstructs the decision making process. Often a systemic problem within a company and a symptom of dysfunctional leadership, processes, and pretty much everything else. Also see disruptive management style.

Breathing your own fumes. When executives actually start to believe and make decisions based on the spin-doctored bulls--t they consistently spew out to the media, analysts, investors, customers and employees.

Blowing smoke up someone's ass. Feeding an insincere compliment or bulls--t to someone who should know better but hasn't been around long enough to develop a healthy, cynical filter against that sort of thing. Not to be confused with having your head stuck up someone's ass. ... Read more