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February 23, 2009 1:17 PM PST

How to give up Facebook for Lent and keep your friends

by Lindsey Turrentine
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I'm not Catholic, but every year when friends and family give up wine, cheese, or bad TV shows for the 40 days of Lent, I get into an ascetic spirit. I convince myself to drop, say, white flour, then decide three minutes later that all things are OK in moderation. Who really needs 40 days off croissants, anyway?

But I think maybe I do need a break from Facebook. Checking Facebook first thing in the morning, all day long, and just one more time after I brush my teeth is probably not the best use of my time. My children, my marriage, and my houseplants need me more than that guy I met one summer in art school.

It turns out I'm not the only one considering the social-networking fast. The Wall Street Journal unearthed the Facebook group "Giving up Facebook for Lent," and a variety of similar groups filled with self-proclaimed addicts who want to test their religious mettle starting on Ash Wednesday. (That's this Wednesday, folks--two days from now.)

There's just one problem: One Facebook addict's self-improvement project is another Facebook fan's snub. A sudden break from your social network--virtual or otherwise--creates a social minefield for anyone concerned with online manners. With more than 175 million active users on Facebook, at least one or two will want to "friend" you in the next 40 days. What to do?

Here's a simple guide for anyone wanting to go Facebook cold turkey:

  1. Set your status. This is an obvious first step in any Facebook fast. Tell all the friends who might be tempted to tag you in yet another 25 things/Album cover/Senior Year of High School meme that you really, really won't be spending your dinner hour trying to remember what you did after prom--at least not until April.
  2. Lent Facebook status

    Don't forget to tell your friends why you're ignoring them.

    (Credit: Lindsey Turrentine, CNET Networks)
  3. Write down birthdays. Don't rely on Facebook to remind you that your sister turns 30 next week. Jot it down on your Google Calendar or--gasp--on paper.
  4. Facebook Events

    Don't let Facebook's calendar stand in for your own brain.

    (Credit: Lindsey Turrentine/CNET Networks)
  5. Relax about application requests. Really, you don't need to sign up every time a friends asks you to plant a flowering pony for a cause. Most Facebook users who send inane application requests mass invite everyone they "know" and won't notice if you don't plant a virtual gnome garden.
  6. Application requsts

    Don't worry about ignoring application requests.

    (Credit: Lindsey Turrentine/CNET Networks)
  7. Consider changing your photo. What happens if your high school ex-best friend (the one who stole your girlfriend) tries to find you on Facebook during Lent? If you're worried that he'll think you're an A-number-one jerk for not accepting his olive branch, consider replacing your profile photo with a text block that reads something like, "Off Facebook for Lent." The downside to this technique? If you're not religious, it may confuse people, and if you have a common name, no one will be able to confirm that you're the Tom Smith they're looking for. Or maybe in the case of the ex-friend, that's a blessing.
  8. Off Facebook for Lent profile picture

    Wait, that's not what she looks like!

    (Credit: Lindsey Turrentine/CNET Networks)
  9. Don't forget to turn off your Twitter forwards. Use Twitter (or some sort of microblogging service) to update your Facebook status? Even if you don't visit Facebook.com, updating through a third party during Lent would be cheating.

Have any of your own Facebook fast suggestions? Please comment. I might even post them to Facebook--in April.

Lindsey Turrentine is an executive editor at CNET.
Add a Comment (Log in or register) Showing 1 of 2 pages (30 Comments)
by pdditty February 23, 2009 1:46 PM PST
Honestly, I dont think you should have to go through all these steps just to make sure you dont rub your "friends" the wrong way when leaving Facebook for a bit. If they really want to get in contact your "real " friends should have your email address or phone number. Writing down birthdays ahead of time? If its my sibling or good friend I should already have that jotted down somewhere else. I see what you are trying to say here but I think its a bit over the top.
Reply to this comment
by homercles82 February 24, 2009 5:33 AM PST
I'm giving up Facbook for THE LENT I DO NOT CELEBRATE. I don't CELEBRATE LENT AT ALL so it will be tempting to give up facbook FOR A HILIDAY (LENT) I DO NOT CELEBRATE.

Oh yea, I do not celebrate LENT.

- Lindsey
by zeboone February 23, 2009 1:50 PM PST
I can't believe it's actually come to this...
Reply to this comment
by adamczar February 23, 2009 1:59 PM PST
Does anyone really take Facebook that seriously? This is insane.
Reply to this comment
by sting7k February 23, 2009 3:56 PM PST
You would be very surprised.
by bostonceltics February 25, 2009 11:33 AM PST
Yes. Teens do. I'm 16 years old and I'm on facebook whenever possible, I'm ashamed to admit. :P Whenever I'm on the internet, there is ALWAYS a facebook tab open. I have many friends that don't live near me and that's one of the only ways I can keep in contact, other than being on the phone 24/7 I guess... But with facebook, it takes about 20 seconds to update someone on how you're doing & what your day was like.

But yeah, many of my friends from school today were like, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GIVING UP FACEBOOK FOR LENT. Of all the OTHER things you could give up! (I'm also giving up snacks & candy) "You might as well give up your life," to quote someone. Yes, people do take it that seriously.

But people also don't understand the true meaning of Lent. It's not just to see if you can live without something for 40 days, and this might offend nonreligious people out there, but I'm just stating the truth for me: It's to spend 40 days without something in order to make more time to spend with God.
Please refrain from any attacking.
by MajorSlax February 23, 2009 2:01 PM PST
Another problem is that some people don't know what Lent is (I had to click on the wikipedia link to find out :P )."Off Facebook for Lent." could be "Off Facebook until Easter." (or replace Easter by the corresponding date) Clear and to the point, and no one will be offended for religious reasons. AND you could write that on top (or at the bottom) of your REAL Facebook profile picture.

That takes care of the friend requests too, as you can see the profile picture of people when you friend request them. You could also post a note or something (or do anything that appears in your mini-feed), it would appear in your personal mini-feed and stay on top of it since you're not going to be adding anything in there while you're off facebook.

Nevertheless, my personal feeling is: if you feel the need to get off Facebook, why did you get on it in the first place ? Please, no analogy with work/vacation, it's a completely different story :) All I'm saying is, I fnd this over the top, as pdditty said.
Reply to this comment
by iff2mastamatt February 24, 2009 4:55 PM PST
If you have never heard of Lent you live in a cave.
by bostonceltics February 25, 2009 11:30 AM PST
I don't understand why people are offended by the littlest things, nowadays. Just because I put up "Off Facebook for Lent" doesn't mean other people should get all huffy about it. For goodness sake's, I'm not FORCING my religion upon you. If people really get that offended, don't befriend religious people. End story.
by jture February 23, 2009 3:52 PM PST
Catholics aren't the only Christians who observe Lent, Lindsey ...
Reply to this comment
by mikehyms February 23, 2009 4:01 PM PST
Sounds like fodder for the F/B Blog

properfacebooketiquette.blogspot.com/
Reply to this comment
by cemmer February 23, 2009 6:54 PM PST
Remember, the Sundays in Lent are outside the 40 days. So you can check your Facebook on Sundays and still observe the 40 days.

Sundays are always feasts of the Resurrection. No fasting on Sundays!
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by February 23, 2009 8:47 PM PST
I'm taking this off-Facebook-for-Lent to the next level. This might sound a little crazy, but I plan to do some serious internet fasting during the 40 days and nights beginning on Ash Wednesday. Off course I'll have to use the web at work but my plan is to stay away from the internet as much as possible while at home. The thing about this is probably me wife is going to end up wishing it were Lent all year long!
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by briceorbryce February 23, 2009 11:55 PM PST
LOL this is awesome
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by daveharte February 24, 2009 8:27 AM PST
I'm trying to turn my giving up of twitter for Lent into a positive:
http://daveharte.com/charity/giving-up-twitter-for-lent/
Reply to this comment
by AnneEasterling February 24, 2009 9:36 AM PST
The purpose of making a sacrifice for Lent is to open space in your life to build a closer relationship with God. I can see how it might be hard for those of other faiths (or those who don't participate in any religion) to really get it, but we ask for your kind indulgence as we seek God in this special way.

Some sacrifices may seems small or even inappropriate -- like giving up chocolate or bread or even Facebook -- but it's not really up to any of us to evaluate someone else's effort to be closer to God. Most of all, we should support our friends' efforts to live their lives with integrity. If someone chooses the sacrifice of giving up Facebook for Lent, then my job as their friend is to honor and respect their journey.
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by mbrownsky February 24, 2009 11:49 AM PST
Great suggestions! Another thought is to use the info box under your profile page photo to communicate the decision. For more on Lent see: http://brownblog.info/?p=764

God bless,
Rev Mark
Reply to this comment
by albertkaufman February 24, 2009 1:14 PM PST
I'm giving up Lent for Facebook :)
Reply to this comment
by HappyPoop February 24, 2009 1:40 PM PST
Some people seriously need lives... especially you, Anne Easterling.
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by hometree February 24, 2009 7:26 PM PST
it is said you must first loose your life to live it...I think Anne has great info 'happy poop'
by SJSU08 February 24, 2009 3:19 PM PST
If you click on the option to delete your account, you can check the box that says "temporarily deactivate" this way it will delete your entire profile until the next time you log in. It was easier for me to delete my profile knowing that everything would be re-activated the next time I log on. Several of my friends use this option frequently for events like finals week or going out of the country.
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by transparentman February 24, 2009 3:24 PM PST
great article. I thought about giving up facebook, but that's the only way I communicate with some people instead of email
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by clynx February 25, 2009 3:34 AM PST
Facebook is stupid. And if you use it, you are stupid working for free to make some ****** rich by advancing his technology. Facebook is for idiots.
Reply to this comment
by EDunigan February 25, 2009 6:41 AM PST
Good pointers for making sure people who do the Facebook fast don't leave their friends hanging. I wrote a recent post with additional considerations people should consider when going without Facebook for 40 days. For example, Don't provide a verbal status update at the office, at home or in public. People may think you are a little odd.

For additional considerations to consider when going cold turkey:

http://www.trackvia.com/blog/2009/02/25/facebook-fast/
Reply to this comment
by antfaber February 25, 2009 2:41 PM PST
1. Take a picture of yourself holding a sign saying "Gave up Facebook for Lent. Be back after Easter" You still have a pic, and they know not to expect you to respond until after Easter. Also, do friend requests expire, or do they hang around until you deal with them? If the latter, a belated acceptance with a note saying you were offline would probably do.

2. Instead of giving up Facebook for Lent, just "friend" God. After all He's everywhere, which includes Facebook.

This is a noble suggestion. I give up religion for Lent, myself.
Reply to this comment
by abelardodlp February 25, 2009 3:58 PM PST
http://eleditordelatinola.blogspot.com/2009/02/giving-it-up-for-lent.html
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