Dancing with the Woz: 'A Teletubby going mad'
He was wearing a black shirt and black pants. Oh, yes, and a pink boa.
That's why I needed to watch Steve Wozniak's "Dancing with the Stars" debut twice. Everybody needs to watch Wozniak twice.
He showed the personal grace of royalty. He exuded the breezy joy of someone who, one suspects, has very little to worry about.
And then there was the dancing.
In an opening act that was effortful, but, at times, reminiscent of a varicose vein on cocaine, Wozniak chased his professional partner, Karina Smirnoff, around the dance floor and rarely caught a glimpse of her exquisite hem.
He got rich. And now I feared he would die tryin'.
But his energy never flagged, even if his grasp of the beat was akin to John McCain's grasp of economics. He admitted that he was fine with the numerical side of the cha-cha. He struggled with the analog parts.
Tinky Winky?
(Credit: ABC)Yet here is a man who is very much in touch with his analog side. In the preamble to his dance, he wore a pink satin shirt as if it had been the uniform he'd worn at Apple. (Does anyone have pictures of Jobsy in a pink satin shirt?)
And then there was the dancing.
While the British judge, Len Goodman, commended the Woz's knee-spin, he concluded that his cha-cha was "a disaster".
However, it was left to the Italian judge, Bruno Tonioli, a man who is also very much in touch with his analog side, to offer a graphic description: "It was like a Teletubby going mad in a gay pride parade."
The judges gave him 13 points (out of a possible 30), 13 more than he needs if he can only muster 6 percent more of the viewers' votes than the other contestants.
The true pink boa in all this is that he can't be eliminated this week. He will dance again next week, after which the scores from both weeks will be tallied. (So I know that if you missed the voting this week, you will be madly at it next.) Even then, the bottom two will dance off for their own survival.
The Woz said he wanted to prove that "nerds can dance." Well, nerds can be gracious. Nerds can smile in the face of adversity. Nerds can ride in on Segways and act like it's the most normal thing in the world.
And then there was the dancing.
A dip of Smirnoff before, perhaps, a sip of Smirnoff. At least for Karina.
(Credit: ABC)
Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET. 
If you had said, "George Bush's," "Hank Paulson's," "Barack Obama's," or Tim Geithner's" grasp of economics it might have made sense (and no, I'm no McCain supporter, I supported Ron Paul) . But that gratuitous gibe at McCain went nowhere.
I know you media types are a bunch of lefties, but leave your politics out of the tech reporting.
Ken
www.kenstech.com
Ron Paul is fun, isn't he?
The McCain comment was not commentary...It's something he declared himself: http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/0108/McCain_has_belittled_his_own_knowledge_on_economics.html
Leftie media type? Moi? Oh, you don't know me well.....
Chris
Lefties as in two left feet?
ESR would be more fun -- at least he'd come onto the show packing some heat, and then read some of his really bad neo-romantic poetry.
And Chris.... I am waiting to see your dance video. :-) Its easy to kibitz on the side, but lets see how you do and then we can compare. :-)
PS. Have you earned your first billion yet???? Whats keeping you. Woz seems to have done both.
Not bad Woz. Not bad at all.
Just a thought.
en
If you can organize the dance video and get someone to sponsor it (maybe Call of Duty?), then I'm there...:)
The Woz was great last night. Projected a really wonderful personality. Really. And it is very tough to dance out there...Please vote to keep him in and he can only get better...
thank you for commenting,
Chris
it must've been the Teletubby tagline...
You see, I was writing the post as quickly as I could. I rewound the TIVo three times and still couldn't make out the rest of Bruno's quote over the laughter and applause. Darned surround sound.
So thank you for letting me know. I have amended the quote and included the full version above.
So what do you say about Censors now?:)
Chris
Was it really necessary to add your political jab at McCain? Surely you could have spent 30 more seconds to come up with a better analogy... maybe finish it off with a mention of Obama's choice of tax evasion candidates.
I refuse to watch reality shows and crap like American Idol and Dancing With The Stars, but I wish him all the best... he seems way more down to earth and likable than Steve Jobs and his turtleneck god complex.
- by gpenglase March 25, 2009 4:37 PM PDT
- Go The Great Woz!
- Like this Reply to this comment
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(26 Comments)I like people who don't take themselves too seriously - it shows character. Pretty funny comment.. teletubby going mad in a gay pride parade... haha that's great :-)
(gotta agree about the needlessness of a political jab - could've made it funnier with a better quote).