Crave

I know science thinks it can do everything.

I know robots will soon be ordering us around like wait staff at the Ritz.

But I am gravely concerned about an experiment that has been going on up there in space.

Japanese astronaut Koichi Wakata, who returned to earth Friday, had been on the International Space Station since March. And, well, I don't know quite how I am to put this, but he didn't change his underwear for a month.

I know what you're thinking. We're both thinking the same thing.

Not even in the the darkest, most slovenly days of our student youth did we wear the same pair of knickers for 30 days. Around seven days was our limit. Then we'd at least manage a hand wash in a sink.

But here was the intrepid Wakata, prepared for the sake of all our futures to don anti-static, flame-resistant, odor-eating, bacteria-killing, water-absorbent underpants. Yes, water-absorbent.

Will we only have two pairs in the drawer one day? Or even one?

(Credit: CC Mike52ad/Flickr)

I know that there was a lady astronaut a little while ago who wore diapers on a long car journey, but this is surely couture from another realm.

The London Times quoted Wakata as saying, pre-landing: "I haven't talked about this underwear to my crew members."

This is quite understandable. I rarely talk about my underwear to my clients. Not even my underwear clients. However, wasn't just the occasional merest stink caused by this novel eco-friendly fashion show?

"I wore it for about a month and my station crew members never complained, so I think the experiment went fine," he said.

Well, now, in polite society one doesn't normally comment when a fellow worker suffers something of a digestional malfunction, so how can Wakata be sure that his fellow astronauts weren't furtively making sniffy remarks about certain odors emanating from his person?

I know you'll be wondering what astronauts normally do with their soiled undies. Firstly, they take them off. Then they pack them up with the trash, which they shoot into outer space on human-less Russian cargo ships. On the way, the dirty undies are cremated.

But here's the thing with Wakata's undergarments: the Japanese space agency, Jaxa, which designed them, has no firm idea just how well they performed their task.

Which makes two pulsating thoughts thud around my cranium.

One: what if the anti-static, flame-resistant, odor-eating, bacteria-killing, water-absorbent qualities didn't work so well? Especially the last two. What effects might imperfect performance have on poor Mr. Wakata's inner well-being?

And two, I must do the washing.

(Credit: Triumph International)

I just got back from a trip to California, where I got to be with almost my entire extended family. I'm 33 years old and single, so the whole time I had relatives telling me to hurry up and get married. The pressure was horrible. But now that I've seen, courtesy of talk2myShirt, this "husband hunting" bra concept from Japan, I'm a little relieved.

The bra, by Triumph International, has a built-in digital timer indicating how much time's left before the woman wearing it must get married. If she's not married by the time it reaches zero, she's a "leftover," which is perhaps Japan's version of an old maid. Either way, the social stigma must be daunting.

But there's a solution: an engagement ring fits neatly into a compartment above the timer. Only then can the countdown be stopped, thus giving the useless ring a function beyond labeling someone as "taken."

If they make a man version, perhaps boxer briefs, I will not be getting it. I don't need to be reminded every time I drop trou that I'm still single. Thanks, world.

As a side note: why do I keep getting assigned stories about gadgetized underwear?

If there's a more disturbing image than a naked Wilson Tang eating a stuffed pepper and doing his taxes, it's got to be a naked Tim Geisenheimer's sockless foot stuffed into a suede moccasin. We invite Tim into the studio anyway and he surprises us with some bad news: turns out the economy ain't doing so well.

World famous weather-forecasting leg predicts spring is finally here.

(Credit: Tim Geisenheimer/CNET)

Do not attempt to adjust the white balance on your monitor: Tim Geisenheimer's legs are actually that pale. I guess he and Michael Jackson share more in common than their tastes in footwear. Anyway, for some reason Wilson felt the need to stay at home today to do his taxes, which means being a good Chinese boy and writing off everything he possibly can. Why he decided to get nakee and do said taxes is another issue entirely, and one that teases my upchuck reflex anyway, so let's move on.

If you haven't figured it out yet, 'tis I, Justin Yu--on the poop deck, handling the blogging for the day. The first half of today's show is pretty random, since it's just Jeff and I riffing on a few stories, including one about Japanese space underwear.

I feel compelled to break out Space Beer guy, but mixing beer and underwear just doesn't feel right. Leave it up to the Japanese to reinvent the last thing you should worry about in space--forget the zero gravity, space debris, and Klingon warlords. Nah, nah, let's make a pair of underwear that you never have to take off.

Next story is about a Jewish Facebook group whose name suddenly changed from "I Heart Jews" to "Hitler: Great Modern Man of History." While we disagree with that statement, Jeff Bakalar (devoutly Jewish, FYI) gives the rest of us a free pass to laugh at the prank. Hey, at the end of the day, if Mel Brooks can laugh at Hitler, I think we're all safe.

After long calls from the public, we finally decide on a date for The 404 Meetup: APRIL 16. Everyone living in the Tri-State area should definitely clear their evening hour for a night of fun with The 404. We decided that two weeks is enough time for everyone to plan ahead, and it gives Jeff, Wilson, and I ample time to exercise our wrists and buy as many sharpies as possible. Riiight. Finally, check out some of the submissions below for our running contest. Can you write a funny caption for this photo of your humble 404 host? Here are some of our current favorites:

• "Do these glasses make my eyes look less asian?" - Will Chan
• "The 404's Justin Yu was taken into custody shortly after molesting a lumberjack, a 90-year old woman, and robbing a Radio Shack in China Town last evening. Luckily there was no evidence of dicktopping at any of the crime scenes." - Andrew Teachout
• "What? I swear that printer was d**kto**ed before I got it!" - Jeff from Calgary

Send us your funniest caption to the404{at}cnet[dot]com and you could win a copy of Wheelman for XBox 360!

Koichi Wakata looks comfortable enough to me.

(Credit: NASA)

For some reason, every time high-tech underwear news hits the Internet, my editors think it's something I need to cover (pun intended). This time, though, it's underwear from space. And it's Japanese underwear from space that lasts up to a week before you have to change it--for better or worse.

According to Reuters, the clothing called J-ware is currently being tested aboard the International Space Station, perhaps to the dismay of Koichi Wakata's fellow astronauts.

The skivvies, developed by textile specialists at Japan Women's University in Tokyo, are meant to absorb moisture, kill bacteria, and generally be comfortable in situations where there are no laundry facilities and you really can't be as freshly dressed as you'd like.

Thankfully, so far the tests have been successful. Wakata has been quoted as saying, "Nobody has complained, so I think it's so far, so good." The question is, if the tests are fully successful, will the general, non-space-going world buy into the idea? There are plans for Earth-bound mass marketing of the week-long underwear. I for one am not into the idea, even if it works fine.

Sure, PMA was lots of fun, but there was plenty of other stuff going on here at Crave this week. Here's some of the best and some of the worst.

(Credit: Apple)

• We took a look at the new 24-inch iMacs from Apple--and liked what we saw.

• We brought you news of "trashy" lingerie made from recycled materials. We won't tell if you click.

• Strangely, it seems Amazon wants to help the iPhone be the Kindle killer with its own Kindle app. It works, but there's some strangeness.

• We can rebuild him: Meet the quasi-bionic eye camera. Do not want, but kind of do want. Chinese DVD pirates, take note.

The foyer of my new mansion.

(Credit: Frank McKinney)

• Craver Justin Yu channeled his inner Shania Twain in putting down the new Mac Mini. In a nutshell: $200 gets you a decent laptop with more features.

• We also covered the next place I will live. No, really, I'm working on the financing. Bloggers can get great loans for eco-mansions in this economy, right?

• I'll take one of these amazing eco-friendly supercars to go with it. You've got to have the complete package these days.

See anything we missed? We're not perfect, it can happen. If so, get to us at Crave at cnet dot com and we'll take a look.

This would look great on Tina Turner in "Beyond Thunderdome."

(Credit: Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch)

It would be easy to dismiss ladies' underwear made out of recycled materials as a gimmick, and maybe it is, but it can't be denied that at least it's an attractive gimmick. Artist Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch--who is often inspired by the sort of stuff found in hardware stores--has created this line of handmade "trashy" lingerie out of recycled cans, bottles, and other materials.

I doubt they'd work for day-to-day wear, but for special green occasions--say a naughty Arbor Day Ball--they'd be a perfect way to show off your eco-friendliness.

What's great is that they're not just about the idea; indeed these salvaged unmentionables actually look good. Were I the type to wear lingerie (I'm not), these would be on my list. If I ever get out of the basement and meet a girl, perhaps I'll let her in on this line of quasi-practical lady things.

(Via InventorSpot)

While we like the look of these, we can't vouch for the comfort.

(Credit: Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch)

(Credit: BraDryer.com)

I have friends who are girls. As girls, they tend to have boobs. And because of this they wear bras. Having dated girls (I know!), I've observed how frequently girls sometimes have to buy new bras, theirs getting bent out of shape, and the silk getting creased. It's not just about looks; the distorted bras can be downright uncomfortable (from what I hear).

The Bar Dryer has settings for different bra materials, plus a timer.

(Credit: BryDryer.com)

Here comes the science. InventorSpot tells us a woman named Katy has invented this patent-pending device called the Bra Dryer which, get this, dries bras in a more constructive fashion. By allowing this machine to dry your bras instead of a conventional dryer, they're thought to keep their shape and appearance longer.

The device uses adjustable infrared heat to dry the bras rapidly, though only one at a time. As you can surely tell from the photo, it's shaped like a female torso and comes in different breast and chest size variations that users can mix and match. It also has settings for different bra materials, plus a timer.

Hopefully the BraDryer will find use in laundry rooms across the land, if it actually works. Now if I could get something like this for my bros (or mansieres), I'd be set.

(Credit: Chip Chick)

We know people love their iPods and want them as close as possible at all times, as part of their personal wardrobe. For that reason, even the iPod mini-skirt didn't come as a complete surprise.

But boxer shorts?

The " iBoxers" have a special pocket that's designed to hold a media player or mobile phone (no jokes, please), according to Chip Chick, available for both women and men in an array of patterns and colors. There's obviously only one reason to buy them: So that, if anyone asks if that's an iPod in your pocket, you can honestly say yes.

(Credit: Cramer Japan)

Modesty apparently has no place in the digital age. It's one thing for airport security to consider using technology that can see through clothes, but some tech-savvy voyeurs are cobbling together DIY infra-red scanners for less-than-noble uses. For every offense, however, there is economic opportunity.

The "Shot Guard" line of undergarments, for instance, is designed to "make photography difficult," according to American Inventor Spot. The defensive clothing is being marketed in Japan, where the peeping problem is apparently concentrated. (Why are we not surprised?)

It's unclear how this foundation-wear blocks prying beams, but Shiny Shiny suggests that it could involve "chilling your nether regions." This invites a whole slew of bad jokes, of course, so we'll just stop here.