(Credit:
tomwet.de/photoshopped by Caroline)
I like toasters. I really do. And I like it when they're creative. I've spent some time this week researching Instructables tutorials for how to hack my own toaster in order to make it a pirate toaster that brands my toast with a skull and crossbones. (Stay tuned on that one.)
But this is too much. I'm not terrified of Hello Kitty or anything, but I think the cat should stay the heck off my toast. Even if it's only $19.99, I do not have any use for a Hello Kitty toaster. Like all other Hello Kitty-related appliances, this toaster is pink and white and has a giant cat on it. There's not a whole lot else you can say about it. Except that it'll probably match that Hello Kitty crock pot that you've been hiding in the kitchen cabinet for several months now.
(Credit:
Amazon.com)
What slightly disturbs me is that full-size toasters, crock pots, waffle irons, etc., are for grown-ups. Not kids. This makes me wonder whether there are actually adults out there who are furnishing their homes with pink-and-white cat appliances.
However, as we've seen, Hello Kitty is a pirate too, so maybe I should consider the toaster a positive development in my ongoing quest for a pirate toaster.
(Credit:
tomwet.de/photoshopped by Caroline)
Back in February, when I fell head-over-heels for the German pirate toaster, I had absolutely no idea that "art toasters" would become such a phenomenon. Yesterday, GeekSugar wrote about Your Name On Toast, which is a gimmicky little service that will customize toast for you at a ridiculous fee--but I guess it is for charity. Nevertheless, it was certainly more accessible than the hacked toast printer. So I suppose it was a step in the right direction.
But now, to beat the pirate metaphor into the ground, I think I see the "x" marking the buried treasure: I've found instructions for building my own pirate toaster. Well, kind of. MAKE Magazine's blog has linked me to an Instructables demo for building a customized "art toaster" that will brand toast with an image that I cut out of aluminum foil. (See image below.) You know, I think a homebrew pirate toaster might be even more awesome than one you buy in a store. Because pirates are resourceful, y'know?
(Credit:
Instructables)
I'm so building one next week. Who's with me!?
(Credit:
Tomwet.de (Photoshopped by Caroline))
To those who stepped in late: I'm on a quest for a pirate toaster. I'm looking for something like the skull-and-crossbones appliance sold in Germany that will allow me to brand a thoroughly awesome Jolly Roger into my morning toast. But at this point, it doesn't look like I can locate one here in the States. When we last left the Quest, readers, I had just learned about the Pop Art toaster sold at Target, which is a good try, but there are no pirates involved. I have no use for a toaster that can brand snowflakes or birthday cakes.
Well, there's good news out of Engadget. The guys over there have caught wind of a hacked CNC air gun that's been hooked up to a printer so that it can burn patterns into toast, thus turning it into "digital toast imaging technology." Perhaps it could be programmed to brand a skull and crossbones somehow? Hmm? Maybe? Check out this video:
So the auspices are in my favor. But hear me out: I will stop at nothing in my quest for this ultimate prize in kitchen-appliance booty. If you have one, I'm willing to barter. I have a katana that I'd trade you for it (good if you happen to come across any ninjas), or maybe some second-rate Blu-rays. Any takers?
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