Crave

Mmmvelopes sell online and at stores including Albertsons, Pick 'n Save, Raley's, and Fry's.

(Credit: J&D's)

I honestly can't remember the last time I sent something using conventional mail, but it may have been more than three years ago. I hate licking stamps and envelopes and risking a paper cut in one of the worst places I can imagine. But after spotting these Mmmvelope bacon-flavored envelopes from "bacontrepreneurs" J&D's, I might start looking for reasons to send random stuff out. And for as little as three packs of 25 for $14.99, I can send a lot.

The No. 10 envelopes themselves are regular paper but the glue has a bacony essence ("it's not real bacon, mind you, so you won't have to start storing your envelopes in the refrigerator," the creators stress).

We already have bacon vodka, bacon salt, bacon alarm clocks, and a Web app that superimposes a digital piece of tasty, tasty bacon over everything you navigate. So why wouldn't we get bacon envelopes too? When they make bacon-flavored stamps I might start paying those bills I keep getting. Then maybe I can make food (bacon!) in my oven because they'll have turned the electricity back on. Bacon.

(Via Uncrate)

Ace reporter Caroline McCarthy from CNET News joins the show today to bring us bacon chocolate from Foodzie. It's kind of like, Etsy but for food. Wilson doesn't partake in the bacon, but he munches down on the bourbon chocolate. Jeff's not a fan of swine cocoa, but Justin can't get enough of it.

(Credit: Wilson G. Tang/CNET)

However, Justin's not a fan of Apple's iPhone warranty policies. Apparently, he dropped his iPhone into a puddle of something. We're not exactly sure what, but we're pretty sure you can't drink it. Anyway, because of this whole ordeal, he's decided to become Justine.

Additionally, ESPN.com tries to be cool when it briefly enables the "Contra code" for its Web site. The hack lasted for about 45 minutes before it got shut down, but we give the site props for making unicorns and rainbows cool again.

It's Tuna Tuesday again, and we get a phone call from Tina. Finally, Twitter has become popular enough to ban at work. We get around it with this new Web app that fakes an Excel document with all your Twitters.

Be sure to check out Jeff Bakalar's appearance on Dan Levy's podcast "On the DL." He talks about tech and hockey. Lastly, a show about supercute kittens and puppies uses The 404 music loop. Didn't know the music could go both ways.

Bacon bracelet: no natural additives

(Credit: Diffraction/Etsy)

Let me guess what you're thinking: "What the heckbeans is this doing on Crave? Where are the diodes, LCD screens, or batteries? Not even one Swarovski crystal?" Well, we realize this isn't tech-related, but considering the amount of bacon-related blog posts popping up on here, we doubt anyone will care.

Now I know I said before that men who wear jewelry should be stoned to death or something to that degree, but I think we can all agree that bacon is the crunchy, greasy, artery-clogging tie that binds us all together, so I'll make an exception for this bacon bracelet, courtesy of Diffraction's store on online crafts marketplace Etsy.com.

Anyway, the bracelet is a shiny silver and closes with a lobster clasp; it's also fully adjustable up to eight inches, but the seller can also make it larger if necessary. The "bacon" itself is professionally shot in a studio, printed on thick plastic, and then sealed with three coats of polyurethane for added durability. The result is a little slice of bacon that looks so similar to the real thing that you're likely to get a few strange looks in line at the bank, and maybe even one "Uhh, you gonna eat that?"

And now, for some bad news: unfortunately, the bracelet is sold out online right now, but check out the maker's Etsy store for future updates and other food-themed accoutrements. EDIT: The store has been updated, additional bacon bracelets available here!

More pictures of the bacon bracelet after the jump.

Jeff, Wilson, and Justin recover from their hangovers with ace reporter Caroline McCarthy. We chat about Wilson's drunken debauchery and Caroline's bacon tattoo.

(Credit: University of Wisconsin)

Some days on The 404, there isn't much news to report, so we do something we like to call "milking," and boy are we good at it! It's not for lacking of trying. We spend as much as 10 minutes every day looking for stuff on the Interwebs to riff on, and while we could talk about hackers taking apart Safari in seconds, it's really not that funny. And it's not 404-esque material. See how much text I've written, and really I haven't said anything!

In actual stories today, Caroline McCarthy tells us that there are bacon tattoos at SXSW. We think someone spammed our poll. President Obama makes a terrible, terrible 404-style joke about bowling and the Special Olympics. (We wish he would come on our show.) Google gives you an "Undo Send" feature in Gmail. We think it would be more effective if it had a five-hour, post-hangover undo-send feature. And we're really, really tired of Jason Seigel & Co. movies like "I Love You, Man." But it does bring up fond memories of Jennifer Love Hewitt in that teen classic "Can't Hardly Wait."

An iPhone sleeve that looks like bacon.

(Credit: Antje)

Do you like bacon? Do you like your iPhone? Would you want to dress your iPhone in bacon? Well now you can...sort of.

A German accessory company called Antje has created this delicious-looking iPhone sleeve out of a decidedly nonmeaty felt (Or at least it looks like felt from the pictures). It's only around 25 euros (or $31), so you can go and show off your bacon and iPhone love to the world. But make sure you don't accidentally stick your iPhone in the frying pan, OK?

(Via Engadget Mobile)

Health concerns aside, one of the biggest drawbacks of cooking bacon is the mess: greasy splatters on your cooktop or stacks of soiled paper towels. The WowBacon bacon broiler ($20) promises to keep grease contained while cooking bacon to perfection--in your microwave.

Of course, cooking bacon in the device is slightly more complicated than just throwing it in a pan. First, you drape the bacon over a six-pronged rack and attach the lid to the top of the rack. Then lower the rack into the grease-catching cup and secure it with the attached clamps. The pitcher-like device is then ready to go into the microwave, where the bacon reportedly broils at more than 425 degrees. When it's done, lift the lid and rack out of the cup, pull the bacon off the rack (blotting any remaining grease if needed) and enjoy.

I'm not normally one for single-purpose gadgets, especially the "as seen on TV" kind. But, as someone whose BLT craving once drove her to attempt to fry bacon in a dorm room hot pot, I can see the appeal of this gadget for college students or other bacon lovers who'd rather not stand at the stove for their daily dose of salty pork.

Credit: MIT

Clocky

It's 6:20 a.m. "Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Slam." Sleep in peace for 9 more minutes, then repeat.

There has to be a more humane way to wake up. My snoozing habits drive my husband crazy, and unexpected power outages have ruined my morning ritual more than once.

I tried waking up to Howard Stern's radio show years ago, figuring that it'd definitely wake me up because the stuff he says would never naturally make its way into my early-morning dreams. When it eventually did, I went back to the traditional jarring beeps. The Shock Jock has since made his way to Sirius Satellite Radio, which I have only in my car, anyway.

So I've been toying with the idea of getting a new alarm clock--one that at the very least has a backup battery. But some tech innovator just might have come up with a better way to ease (quickly) into the early-morning start.

Credit: Innovative Sleep Solutions

Sleeptracker

Let's face it: no alarm clock is going to completely fool a heavily sleeping body into thinking that it's a leisurely Saturday morning after it has barely gotten the required seven (or is it eight?) hours of rest. But some innovators are at least attempting to come up with an alarm clock that isn't, well, alarming.

I've already ruled out the Clocky, invented by some geniuses at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. I don't care how fuzzy or colorful the clock is. Any alarm that runs away from you, making you actually chase it under your bed to turn it off, is not only alarming but mean.

Reuters on Wednesday reported about several new types of so-called bio-alarm clocks worth mentioning.

Credit: Axbo

Sleep Phase Alarm Clock

Three of them--the Sleeptracker by Innovative Sleep Solutions, the SleepSmart by Axon Labs and the Sleep Phase Alarm Clock by Axbo--are designed to wake you up when you are already sleeping lightly.

The Sleeptracker and the Sleep Phase Alarm Clock, which you wear like a wristwatch, supposedly read "specific movements common during light sleep," according to Reuters. The SleepSmart, worn as a headband (sorry, couldn't find a picture), apparently tracks brain waves to detect how heavily--or lightly--you are sleeping. Each of these alarms is designed to sound when you're likely already tossing and turning.

While the concept of waking people up when they're almost up, essentially forcing them to either be fully awake or to get deeper sleep, is interesting, I'm not sure that such an alarm would go over so well, given that "sleep cycles vary from 90 to 110 minutes, so the bio-alarm clocks have a roughly 30-minute margin of error," according to Reuters.

Credit: BioBrite

SunRise Clock Radio

And certainly, a couple's sleep cycles are not easily synchronized. My fear is that we'd actually get less overall sleep with one of these bio-alarm clocks, regardless of the quality.

So that leaves a couple of really wacky wake-up ideas from the tech world. One is imitation sunshine, via the SunRise Clock Radio by BioBrite. Instead of repeatedly emitting a jarring beep, it pleasantly brightens the room, simulating the sun. While that certainly sounds pleasant, anyone who has lived with me knows that I can easily sleep until noon, regardless of how bright the sun is shining onto my face. Combine the SunRise with cheek and temple kisses, and we can talk.

The last item on the shortlist is the Wake n' Bacon.

Credit: Matty Sallin

Wake n' Bacon

"Frozen bacon is placed in the built-in oven the night before and starts sizzling 10 minutes before wake-up time," Reuters reports. And advertised on its site, "This clock gently wakes you up with the mouthwatering aroma of bacon, just like waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of Mom cooking breakfast. Unless you're Jewish."

Sounds great in theory, but I'm pretty sure that I'd wake up hungry, not to mention annoyed that there are no eggs and toast and orange juice, and that I need to clean up bacon grease. Yuck.

Back to the beeps for now.

(Credit: Mathlete)

In today's high-paced, BlackBerry-powered world, a lot of things have been made more expedient (and more annoying) through the use of high technology, but there are a few things that gadgets just can't seem to solve easily. One of the biggest ones: waking up. We've seen loads of crazy alarm clocks recently, from the one that you have to chase around to the one that flies to the one that you have to dismantle like a bomb. But here's a prototype for an alarm clock that actually might work: instead of an alarm, it wakes you up to the scent and sizzle of freshly-cooked bacon.

Here's how the "Wake 'n Bacon" works: stick a frozen piece of bacon into the large pig-shaped clock when you go to bed at night, and then is timed to slowly and tantalizingly cook it in all its greasy goodness, beginning 10 minutes prior to your wake-up time. Then, presumably, you wake up and you eat it. Yum!

Problem: I don't think I want to have a large, scary pig staring at me while I sleep. Aside from that, it sure sounds like a cool idea. If it works, that is.