Crave

Aside from some technical difficulties today and a giant bug bite, we've got a great show featuring all three of your favorite Web celebrities. Before we get to the stories, we want to remind everyone of The 404 logo contest and of our appearance on our buddy Clayton Morris' FoxNews.com's Strategy Room to talk about all the good tech, video game-related goodness at 2 p.m. EST.

(Credit: Jasper Engels)

On today's show, find out ways that kids now are using abbreviations in text messages to hide things from their parents. Apparently, "RU/18" is something that kids these days are getting on their cell phones. Also, Pfizer is giving away free three-month supplies of Viagra and Lipitor because of the recession, but only if you were on the drugs before you got laid off. We hope Justin isn't itching to get fired for this deal.

In regard to a story about China shutting down a sex-themed park, Wilson gives us way too much information about "the talk" with his mom when he was 15. Justin and Jeff learned everything from "Sesame Street." Speaking of more things naughty, there is a new version of "Star Trek" called "Star Trix", and we can't really say much more about it other than it's totally NSFW.

Finally, showers make you more productive at work. Just be sure to watch out for peephole-size openings at work. Be sure to write in at the404 [at] cnet [dot] com. We'd love to see more of your submissions for our logo contest. See you on Tuesday after the Memorial Day break!

Episode 348

debbiefromtoronto from the chat room joins The 404 today all the way from Canada. Of course, she brings her special Canadian goodies, like ketchup potato chips and Smarties, on to the show. Justin falls in love with her when he finds out that she has a bachelor's degree in printing! And she reveals that she was the one who actually coined the phrase "ear douching."

Why doesn't Wilson ever smile?

(Credit: Wilson G. Tang/CNET)

On today's show, we touch on the iPhone OS 3.0 news. Mostly, Jeff takes credit for the shake-to-shuffle feature. While Wilson flips out over the new dock input/output features. We also speculate on the new iPhone revision this summer. Also, a really bad Chinese iPhone joke: Ping Guo i-Dian Hua San-Ge. Ask your Chinese friends what that means.

In other phone news, we get a little excited over Google Voice. Wilson was previously a Grand Central user, but may pick it back up now that Google Voice forwards SMS messages as well. Justin thinks about signing up for an account to call Debbie when she goes home to Canada.

Finally, a man gets shot while wearing a Joker costume. He was holding a shotgun. He wasn't shot for his lack of creativity. And in other shooting-related news, Sega breaks the record for most f-bombs in a video game for House of the Dead: Overkill. Apparently there are a 189 f-bombs.

Automatic setup programs are supposed to be easy, but they can stump home theater neophytes.

(Credit: Steve Guttenberg)

Most new AV receivers come with an "auto setup" or "automatic calibration" feature, but despite the word automatic, these features can stump AV novices. If you're setting up an AV receiver for the first time, this guide will put you on the right track.

How to use your AV receiver's automatic speaker calibration

First, let's describe what auto setup systems do.

They send test tones to all the speakers and subwoofer, and use a microphone to pick up the sound of the speakers in your room. Auto setup systems determine speaker sizes and volume levels, set the subwoofer-to-satellite crossover frequency, measure distances from each of the speakers to the listener, and confirm that all of the speaker cables are correctly hooked up. Some receivers also use equalization to balance the frequency response of all the speakers.

Auto setup systems go by different names, but they all do approximately the same thing. Denon and Onkyo feature Audyssey; Sony has Digital Cinema Auto Calibration, Pioneer Multi Channel Acoustic Calibration, and Yamaha uses a Parametric Room Acoustic Optimizer.

(Credit: Steve Guttenberg)

The exact positioning of the auto calibration microphone is crucial for achieving accurate results. Some auto setup systems work from just one mic position, which would be the primary spot where you sit when watching movies by yourself. Ideally the mic should be placed at the same height as your ears when you're sitting watching a movie.

If you have a camera tripod, use it to place the mic at ear height; perfectionists should move the couch entirely out of the way. Lacking a tripod place the mic on the back of the couch, atop the highest pillow.

Rooms is the first IRC client for the iPhone

(Credit: Nicole Lee/CNET)

Rooms is, so far anyway, the first and only IRC client for the iPhone. It's pretty stripped down as far as IRC clients go, but for simple chatting, it works really well. That said, it has quite a number of bugs, probably because it's only version 0.5. For the uninitiated, IRC stands for Internet Relay Chat, and involves real-time Internet communication on chat rooms called channels. There are hundreds of IRC servers located around the world, and is probably one of the oldest forms of Internet chat rooms.

When you first start Rooms up, you'll be prompted to add a new server, a port number, as well as a desired nickname, which is typical with most IRC clients. Then you can decide if you want to always connect to the server, plus you can set up default rooms (or channels) to join upon connecting. Rooms also has a nice console view that lets you see the connection status. Other settings include the ability to save chat logs, the choice to disable the iPhone's autolock feature (meaning it'll prevent the phone from going to sleep), plus the choice to stay constantly connected. The latter means that even when you get disconnected, the client will automatically try to reconnect you.

You can join multiple rooms on multiple servers

(Credit: Nicole Lee/CNET)

From there, you can join any channel you wish, and you can even switch between different channels by swiping your finger horizontally across the screen. However, when we tried to connect to two different IRC servers simultaneously, we sometimes found that channels would freeze and not show up. This is probably a bug with the first version of the software, but just keep that in mind.

The channel layout is pretty self-explanatory. The nicknames are along the top, while the chat goes on beneath it. Typing out chat messages is as easy as tapping the empty field on the bottom and then typing away on the iPhone keyboard. You can also toggle auto-correct off by hitting the "ABC" button. To send a private message to someone, you can tap the person's name or select the name from the pop-up menu on the bottom right.

There are a few limitations, though. You can't do the typical IRC slash commands, like /op or /me, so you'll be pretty useless as a channel moderator. Of course, chat and data transfers in the form of DCC (Direct Client-to-Client) aren't supported either. Also, as we mentioned, there are several bugs that can occur with this first version of the app. For example, one of the bugs I encountered was that the Disable Autolock feature sometimes crashed the app altogether.

If you can live with the occasional bug, though, I think this is a well-executed app, especially for those of us who simply must continue to chat online even when out and about. Rooms costs $0.99 cents on the iTunes App Store.

(Credit: Sky)

Even at the ripe old age of 26, MTV is still determined to make its way into your home one way or another: It may just not be on a television set. Instead, the network is literally leaving its stamp on various forms of electronics and computing gear by co-branding designs.

Recently, for example, it partnered with HP to sponsor a global design competition for an "Artist Edition" of the Pavilion laptop. And it's latest offering is a limited-edition "multi-room box" produced in collaboration with U.K.-based Sky TV, which had already been coming up with some interesting designs of its own.

The new box features a chest X-ray with an MTV logo in place of the heart, as Shiny Shiny notes. Silly, perhaps, but if it somehow encourages MTV to air videos at any time other than 3 a.m., we're all for it.

(Credit: Japan Trend Shop)

There's got to be a better way to relive your stoner days than wearing those Jamiroquai MP3 shades and, whatever it is, it's probably better done indoors where no one can see you. One solution could be this "Room Palette Skyrium" from the appropriately named "RelaxStyle" line of products from Japan's Banpresto. (But be careful of Japanese relaxation products, because they have a way of sneaking some perverse form of fitness into them.)

With any luck, this lighting experience will be totally devoid of physical exertion as it cycles through nine LED colors projecting various diffused themes on the ceiling, walls, or anywhere else you can see them, ranging from "Aurora" to "Resort Ocean," as described by Popgadget. If all works as planned, you could enjoy an adult version of those laser light shows so fondly remembered (or not) from your misspent youth. But be prepared: If you get the munchies, you're on on your own.

Cheerleaders not included

(Credit: CNET Networks)

What do Roto-Rooter, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, and the ultimate high-tech bathroom for women have in common? We have no idea, but they all came together at an event in New York City for the launch of Roto-Rooter's Pimped Out Powder Room Sweepstakes, which is a follow-up to last year's Pimped Out John Sweepstakes.

Around 300,000 people signed up for a chance to win the ultimate john and you gotta think just as many will be interested for a shot at the powder room. Roto-Rooter calls this the "ultimate bathroom destination for the modern woman," but I can't see too many dudes complaining about hitting this head. (See the bathroom sans cheerleaders after the jump.)

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(Credit: PolyVision)

There's good news and bad news about the popularity of something like the "RoomWizard " scheduling system: One one hand, it means companies are apparently growing and hiring enough to demand a product like this; on the other, it means they're having more meetings.

The RoomWizard is kind of a digital referee that can avoid inter-office fisticuffs by keeping track of schedules for conference rooms that are always in high demand. Spaces are booked with touch screens outside the rooms or online through the system's Web server, according to OhGizmo, and information can be downloaded to personal calendars.

All this seems to be a definite step up from the old sign-up sheet, which can be subject of abuse by an unscrupulous eraser. But we suspect the real reason that management would buy this system is its tracking feature, which can keep tabs on usage patterns. That's a tough break for meeting mavens who are always hogging rooms instead of doing real work; now they'll have to look for other ways to justify their jobs.

REDMOND, Wash.--Tired of having to fight for a free conference room, Microsoft's security chief, Mike Nash, decided in early 2005 that the company needed a dedicated "war room" where his team could handle emergency responses.

And while he was at it, why not have two? That way, the folks working on fixing a security crisis could have a little breathing room from those drafting the public and customer communications around the issue.

"They were tired of the communications people hearing of things that were half-baked," Nash said.

The Microsoft Security Response Center (MSRC) was completed in June 2005. The engineering conference room includes four flat-panel screens that can display live TV or a computer screen as well as a couple dozen chairs, though the place is often standing-room-only in a real crisis.

The war room is just one of a number of changes Microsoft has made over the years, usually the result of a lesson learned the hard way through some work or other outbreak. In part one of a three-part series starting Monday, I take a look back at those painful lessons and how they have shaped Microsoft's current practices. On Tuesday, I'll look at the role of the human element in trying to keep software secure. And on Wednesday, I'll look at some of the people Microsoft counts on to keep its products safe. Each day there will be a blog too, going into more depth on one issue raised by that day's story.

While most of the room's accoutrements are practical--food, a world map, and clocks showing the time around the world, there is also a photo of actor Harvey Keitel. That's courtesy of Christopher Budd, who used to work as part of the security response effort.

"Back in 2001, I joked about how working to protect customers in the MSRC was a lot like being Harvey Keitel's character, "The Wolf," in Pulp Fiction," said Budd, who now works on Microsoft's privacy team. "Just like his character, I said, you're doing a hard job, and doing it right means you have to remain calm in a crisis and help others stay calm. When you do that, you help everyone stay focused on solving the problem."

To me, "The Wolf" seems like an odd choice for a company that is looking to be more transparent. Wasn't his role in the movie to help clean up after a murder so that the rest of the world would not know what had transpired?