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Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of these battles here and vote on the Final Four matchups here.
Get it now! Your updated, printer-friendly tournament bracket.
This is why they call it Late September Lack-of-Sanity. Upsets, upsets, upsets were the theme of last week's nonviolent robot vote-battles, and only two No. 1 seeds are still in the mix.
Which nonviolent robots will win their division finals and go on to the Final Four? Vote for the winners right now; you have until Sept. 23 to vote on these Elite 1000 matchups.
- See last week's final scores
- See last week's Sweet Sixteen matchups
- See the first round matchups: Week one | Week two
============================
PROTOTYPE DIVISION FINALS
============================
(Credit:
Honda.com)
(Credit:
John W. Cornwell)
(1) Asimo vs. (4) Beer-Launching Fridge
In the most intriguing matchup of the Elite 1000, Honda's amazingly smooth astronaut-looking robot takes on a mini-fridge that launches frosty cans of beer. This one really could go either way. Asimo should take the lion's share of robotics enthusiasts' votes, while the Beer-Launching Fridge should capture the hearts and minds of beer aficionados. Like the Rams-Patriots Super Bowl and the Lakers-Pistons NBA Finals, this is a classic finesse vs. blue-collar grit matchup. Will pure heart (and beer) win out over sophisticated technological prowess? You make the call.
(1) Asimo vs. (4) Beer-Launching Fridge: Who wins the Prototype Division championship?
Asimo
Beer-Launching Fridge
==========================
CONSUMER DIVISION FINALS
==========================
(Credit:
Caleb Goessling)
(Credit:
Mobile-review.com)
(6) Nintendo R.O.B. vs. (2) Sony QRIO
If only Nintendo R.O.B's sales had been as strong as its tourney showing thus far. The Cinderella story 6 seed has breezed its way through two "better" opponents, the top-seeded Pleo dinosaur robot and the 3-seed WowWee Alive Chimpanzee. Sony's humanoid QRIO robot had no problem in the first round, crushing 2-XL by a comfortable 50 percentage points. But QRIO's second-round match against Robosapien was the closest of the tourney so far; QRIO squeaked out a 51-49 win. Did last week's close battle get QRIO's competitive juices flowing to the fullest, or is it a sign of vulnerability? After two easy victories, is R.O.B. primed for a letdown? It's game time; cast your vote.
(6) Nintendo R.O.B. vs. (2) Sony QRIO: Who wins the Consumer Division championship?
Nintendo R.O.B.
Sony QRIO
=====================
MOVIE DIVISION FINALS
=====================
(Credit:
Johnny-Five.com)
(1) Marvin the Paranoid Android vs. (5) Johnny Five
Finally, it looks like Marvin has shaken the depression and is playing to his full potential. A 79-21 trouncing of Spaceballs' Dot Matrix in round one was just an appetizer for an impressive 57-43 win over the over-hyped C-3PO in the Sweet Sixteen. That said, Johnny Five-seed shouldn't be overlooked. The Short Circuit robot has nothing to lose, and a 50-percentage-point trouncing of A.I.'s Teddy in the first round and an 85-15 thrashing of D.A.R.Y.L. in the round of 16 shows that he brought his A-game. Johnny Five is alive...but will he still be after this Elite 1000 tete-a-tete with big number 42? Vote now for a winner.
(1) Marvin the Paranoid Android vs. (5) Johnny Five: Who wins the Movie Division championship?
Marvin the Paranoid Android
Johnny Five
===================
TV DIVISION FINALS
===================
(Credit:
StarTrek.com)
(6) Data vs. (2) Bender
From Star Wars geeks to Dr. Who-ligans, this year's tourney saw no shortage of rabid fanbases. The TV Division championship ensures that there will be no love lost between Trekkies and Futurama freaks. The 6-seeded Commander Data is at the top of his game, ripping Twiki a new Dr. Theopolis port 81-19 in the Sweet Sixteen and jacking KITT by a comfortable 32-point margin in the first round. But can he out-muscle Bender? The hard-drinking Futurama bot defeated two robots in the first round and hasn't looked back since. He dogged K-9 by a score of 78-22 in the second round, and if he can get past Data, the dream matchup of Bender vs. Beer-Launching Fridge for all the marbles could become a reality. Who will win the TV Division? Your vote counts.
(6) Data vs. (2) Bender: Who wins the TV Division championships?
Data
Bender
====
PROTOTYPE DIVISION
(1) Asimo 84
(3) OmniZero.4 16
(4) Beer-Launching Fridge 67
(2) Keepon 33
CONSUMER DIVISION
(6) Nintendo R.O.B. 62
(1) Pleo 38
(2) Sony QRIO 51
(4) Robosapien 49
MOVIE DIVISION
(1) Marvin the Paranoid Android 57
(6) C-3PO 43
(5) Johnny Five 85
(2) D.A.R.Y.L. 15
TV DIVISION
(6) Data 81
(1) Twiki 19
(2) Bender 78
(5) K-9 22
Get your own full-size printer-friendly bracket and start your own high-stakes office pool.
Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of these battles here and vote on the Elite Eight matchups here.
Get it now! Your full-size, printer-friendly tournament bracket.
And then there were 16.
These robots don't want to fight. That's why you have to pick the winners. After two weeks of "battling" it out, our field of nonviolent robots is down to 16 competitors.
Voting is open from now until Sept. 17. Check back then for the results of this round and vote on the Elite Eight matchups.
- See last week's final scores
- See last week's matchups
- See the tournament rules and first week's matchups
===================
PROTOTYPE DIVISION
===================
(Credit:
Honda.com)
1. Asimo
Fittingly pronounced "awesome-o," Honda's amazing humanoid bipedal robot, is this year's tourney favorite, and with good reason. It's already been inducted into the Robot Hall of Fame. It climbs stairs. It looks like an astronaut. And most unfortunately for its opponents, it has some pretty sweet dance moves, as this video can attest.
(Credit:
Robot Watch)
3. OmniZero.4
The demonstration-winning robot from this year's Robo-One 11 event in Japan is built for entertainment. Known to his friends as "Li'l Clompy," OmniZero.4 climbs ladders, skips rope, breaks the hell out of eggs, and politely bows. Sure, he can be physically intimidating if you're an egg or 1 foot tall, but everyone else can just kick him into a swimming pool if he gets confrontational.
(1) Asimo vs. (3) OmniZero.4: Who wins?
Asimo
OmniZero.4
====
(Credit:
John W. Cornwell)
4. Beer-Launching Fridge
Another robot that could potentially do some damage if you're not paying attention, the Beer-Launching Fridge holds up to 10 cans of delicious beer and flings them to you so you don't even have to get up. Unfortunately, at this point, you'll have to know designer John W. Cornwell personally, because he has the only one. But he may build more. One can hope, or at least buddy up to him on Facebook.
(Credit:
BeatBots.org)
2. Keepon
The robotic star of two Spoon videos (one unofficial one, and one official one) has the most soul of any Nerf robot we've ever seen. In addition to bass (which it picks up through its nose mic), the secret to Hideki Kozima and Marek Michalowski's head-bobbing robot is in its base. Base! How low can you go?
(4) Beer-Launching Fridge vs. (2) Keepon: Who wins?
Beer-Launching Fridge
Keepon
=========================
CONSUMER DIVISION
=========================
(Credit:
Michael Kanellos/CNET Networks)
1. Pleo
When most people consider the concept of a robotic dinosaur, thoughts of mechanical T. rexes and velociraptors duking it out on a rickety bridge over a flaming pool of tar come to mind. Ugobe's Pleo is about as far away from that image as possible. He's cute, cuddly, "learns" things as time passes, develops moods and personality traits, makes grunting noises, and is slated to be in stores in October for around $250. However, the robot version of Carl Everett doesn't think Pleo exists.
(Credit:
Caleb Goessling)
6. Nintendo R.O.B.
Any votes for R.O.B. will come straight from nostalgia, because Nintendo's game-playing robot sure didn't have many gaming skills. With only two compatible NES games (the forgettable "Gyromite" and "Stack-Up") and molasses-slow movements, R.O.B. was rarely part of any old-school gaming session beyond his first foray out of the box. These days, R.O.B. has hung up his Gyro Blocks and now has his own MySpace page.
(1) Pleo vs. (6) Nintendo R.O.B.: Who wins?
Pleo
Nintendo R.O.B.
====
(Credit:
WowWee)
4. Robosapien
Another selection from the ultracompetitive WowWee Conference, Robosapien has a bunch of tricks. Namely, belching, farting, caveman noises, dancing, and more farting. That's a nice little repertoire for $50, and Robosapien's hacker-friendly innards have paved the way for some sweet mods. This is another dark horse with an enthusiastic fan base that may propel it to the late rounds. It is also good at farting.
(Credit:
Mobile-review.com)
2. Sony QRIO
Hey, where's Aibo? Sorry. Sony's robo-dog was pummeled in the Sony conference finals by this lesser-known humanoid robot. Face and voice recognition, communication skills, and memory were some of QRIO's noticeable traits, but its smooth, fluid dancing moves (showcased in this Beck video) were QRIO's main drawing point. Development on the robot was halted before it hit store shelves, but you can't blame that on QRIO.
(4) Robosapien vs. (2) Sony QRIO: Who wins?
Robosapien
Sony QRIO
=================
MOVIE DIVISION
=================
1. Marvin
the Paranoid Android (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
The only robot in this year's competition that is (allegedly) the subject of a Radiohead song, Marvin's vast intellect is both his strength and his vulnerability. He may be too mired in depression and bored with this trivial tournament to even put up a good nonfight, or he may completely destroy the competition by employing his 5.5 million IQ. Either way, the championship is there for big number 42's taking if he wants it badly enough.
(Credit:
StarWars.com)
6. C-3PO
Decisions, decisions...Would you cast a vote for C-3PO just because you love Star Wars? Or does this droid's incessant nattering and worrying grate on your last nerve? Threepio's fate could go either way in this competition, which makes him one of the more intriguing tourney competitors. Two things I will say for C-3PO: No one would understand most of the stuff R2-D2 said without his reactionary dialogue, and his Halloween costume is best accompanied by creative
use of jazz hands.
(1) Marvin the Paranoid Android vs. (6) C-3PO: Who wins?
Marvin the Paranoid Android
C-3PO
====
(Credit:
Johnny-Five.com)
5. Johnny Five (Short Circuit
2)
He may be "alive," but he's still a robot. Johnny Five's distinction in the tournament, other than his unparalleled knowledge of pop culture and classic literature, is that he's the only robot that has been arrested. For the purposes of nonviolence, it's important to note that this is the Short Circuit 2 version of Johnny Five, the one with the toolbox instead of an on-board laser.
(Credit:
Amazon.com)
2. D.A.R.Y.L.
Whereas most movie robots can just crush anyone mercilessly with a combination of brute force and laser beams, D.A.R.Y.L. takes a more down-to-earth approach. He will obliterate your high score in Pole Position, make any Little League pitcher's ERA balloon to double digits, and ruin the grading curve on tests.
(5) Johnny Five vs. (2) D.A.R.Y.L.: Who wins?
Johnny Five
D.A.R.Y.L.
=================
TV DIVISION
=================
(Credit:
Toyshow.org)
1. Twiki (Buck Rogers in the
25th Century)
Despite the bidibidi-bad haircut and the inconsistent silver-or-gold color scheme, Twiki is a player to be reckoned
with. The reason for such a high seed? Twiki's actually a double threat, thanks to the fact that he wears another robot--Dr. Theopolis--on his chest like Flavor Flav's clock. Yeaaaaah bidibidi-boyeeeeeeee.
(Credit:
StarTrek.com)
6. Data
(Star Trek)
Commander Data may have lacked emotions for most of his run, but he definitely can win people's hearts. His childlike innocence combined with the most powerful positonic net-powered brain ever gives him an idiot savantish lovability. Combatants should keep in mind what Tasha Yar found out: Commander Data is fully functional. (Commander Data scouting report written by resident Trekkie Tom Merritt.)
(1) Twiki vs. (6) Data: Who wins?
Twiki
Data
====
5. K-9 (Dr.
Who)
Yes, K-9 has a laser in his nose, but he ain't gonna use it unless the good doctor tells him to. His top weapons are intelligence and mobile database serving. What K-9 lacks in visual sophistication, the robot dog more than makes up for in sheer loyalty. All that persistence has paid off for K-9, too: He's getting his own spinoff
series in 2008.
2. Bender
(Futurama)
With Bender, the TV Division has one of the most potentially violent nonviolent robots in the competition. Bender's personality is a volatile cocktail that could blow a fuse at any second: He drinks with the best of them, has a smart mouth, and enjoys bending things. The Futurama star may also have the biggest fan base in the tourney.
(5) K-9 vs. (2) Bender: Who wins?
K-9
Bender
All scores represent percentage of votes, but let's pretend it's like a basketball game.
============
Movie Division
============
(1) Marvin the Paranoid Android 79
(8) Dot Matrix 21
(3) Robby the Robot 36
(6) C-3PO 64
(4) Teddy 25
(5) Johnny Five 75
(2) D.A.R.Y.L. 58
(7) Woody Allen 42
============
TV Division
============
(1) Twiki 60
(8) Vicki 40
(3) KITT 34
(6) Data 66
(4) Muffit II 63
(5) K-9 37
(2) Bender 73
(7) Crow T. Robot 15
(7) Tom Servo 12
Will Greenwald in Optimus Prime helmet was a late tournament scratch (sore hammy).
Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of the battles here and vote on eight more first round battles here.
Complex as they are, most robots solve dilemmas in a basic way: they fight each other. Then Michael Bay films it, charges $10 a ticket, and everyone enjoys the marvelous robots-kicking-the-crap-out-of-each-other show.
But there are plenty of robots that have no appetite for destruction. What about these robots, ones that have to rely on personality, artifical wits, social skills, and dance moves in order to survive?
Even if they banded together, these robots couldn't fight their way out of a Buddhist monastery. That's why you have to settle these one-on-one robot battles with your online votes. It's the only way to figure out which one's the best.
In NCAA tournament style, each robot in the bracket below has been given a seed number. The winner of each battle will advance to the next round, where it'll take on the winner of another battle.
Get your picks in! Each first-round bracket will be open to your votes for one week, from today until Sunday, September 2. This week features battles between prototype robots and consumer robots. Next Monday, September 3, we'll post the second half of the bracket: robots from the movies and TV.
Note: This tournament field is not meant to be all-inclusive. Some great non-violent robots, such as Roomba, Scooba, and R2-D2 (he has a built-in taser) had to be left out of the mix by the selection committee. If you're peeved at the omission of a particular bot, let us know in the TalkBack section.
===================
PROTOTYPE DIVISION
===================
(Credit:
Honda.com)
1. Asimo
Fittingly pronounced "awesome-o," Honda's amazing humanoid bipedal robot is this year's tourney favorite, and with good reason. It's already been inducted into the Robot Hall of Fame. It climbs stairs. It looks like an astronaut. And most unfortunately for its first-round opponent, it has some pretty sweet dance moves, as this video can attest.
(Credit:
Nomura Unison Group)
8. Partner Ballroom Dance Robot (PBDR)
Not to be confused with PBR, which is the fourth-seeded Beer-Launching Fridge's secret weapon, the PBDR is a hot-pink mechanical lady with mouse ears, an ample bosom, and ballroom-dancing skills. Tough first-round draw for the PBDR. It's probably the hottest robot in the competition, but looks only get you so far when you're battling Asimo. Plus, it's arguably the sixth-best dancer in the competition, behind Asimo, Keepon, Sony's QRIO, Robosapien, and Woody Allen.
(1) Asimo vs. (8) PBDR: Who wins?
Asimo
PBDR
====
(Credit:
Robot Watch)
3. OmniZero.4
The demonstration-winning robot from this year's Robo-One 11 event in Japan is built for entertainment. Known to his friends as "Li'l Clompy," OmniZero.4 climbs ladders, skips rope, breaks the hell out of eggs, and politely bows. Sure, he can be physically intimidating if you're an egg or one foot tall, but everyone else can just kick him into a swimming pool if he gets confrontational.
(Credit:
Robot Watch)
6. Motoman
Motoman is big, handy, plays the drums, and was built to do mundane tasks like sorting clothing and reading bar codes. Sure, Motoman is huge and can carry big sticks, but its limp-wristed drum-playing style doesn't instill much fear in either humans or its fellow robots. On the other hand, it does sort mail, so maybe all that postal work will fuel Motoman's robotic aggression.
(3) OmniZero.4 vs. (6) Motoman: Who wins?
OmniZero.4
Motoman
====
(Credit:
John W. Cornwell)
4. Beer-Launching Fridge
Another robot that could potentially do some damage if you're not paying attention, the Beer-Launching Fridge holds up to 10 cans of delicious beer and flings them to you so you don't even have to get up. Unfortunately, at this point, you'll have to know designer John W. Cornwell personally, because he has the only one. But he may build more. One can hope, or at least buddy up to him on Facebook.
(Credit:
ShowbizPizza.com)
5. The Rock-Afire Explosion
The perfect compliment to any of the dancing bots in this competition, this one-time Chuck E. Cheese/Showbiz Pizza animatronic band has been reprogrammed to play the hits of today. We're talking songs like Fergie's "London Bridge" and Bubba Sparxxx's "Ms. New Booty." The band's repertoire is available on video here, courtesy of its programmer, christhrash. Alas, it's hard to hear the songs over all the moving robot parts...hence the surprisingly low 5 seed.
(4) Beer-Launching Fridge vs. (5) The Rock-Afire Explosion: Who wins?
Beer-Launching Fridge
The Rock-Afire Explosion
====
(Credit:
BeatBots.org)
2. Keepon
The robotic star of two Spoon videos (one unofficial one, and one official one) has the most soul of any Nerf robot we've ever seen. In addition to bass (which it picks up through its nose mic), the secret to Hideki Kozima and Marek Michalowski's head-bobbing robot is in its base. Base! How low can you go?
(Credit:
BornRich)
7. Tiro
For all you non-committals out there, this robot is your worst nightmare. For just $215,000, this humanoid will marry the crap out of you. No, it won't actually marry you. The honeymoon night would be horrendous. What it will do, however, is preside over your wedding and pronounce you and your (human) partner man and wife. Then it will make out with the PBDR robot at the reception.
(2) Keepon vs. (7) Tiro: Who wins?
Keepon
Tiro
=========================
CONSUMER DIVISION
=========================
(Credit:
Michael Kanellos/CNET Networks)
1. Pleo
When most people consider the concept of a robotic dinosaur, thoughts of mechanical T-Rexes and velociraptors duking it out on a rickety bridge over a flaming pool of tar come to mind. Ugobe's Pleo is about as far away from that image as possible. He's cute, cuddly, "learns" things as time passes, develops moods and personality traits, makes grunting noises, and is slated to be in stores in October for around $250. However, the robot version of Carl Everett doesn't think Pleo exists.
(Credit:
DreamKitty.com)
8. Hello Kitty Robot
Per Crave regulations, we need a Hello Kitty or a pirate in the mix, so here's this. More than just a $6,300, voice/face recognizing pink cat robot, the chatting Hello Kitty Robot is actually described as "a perfect robot for whoever does not have a lot time to stay with child." Which raises the question: is it better to be a lonely toddler, or one that's raised and nurtured by a Hello Kitty robot?
(1) Pleo vs. (8) Hello Kitty Robot: Who wins?
Pleo
Hello Kitty Robot
====
(Credit:
Rainy Day Magazine)
3. WowWee Alive Chimpanzee
I'd argue that there's no better use for robotics than a lifelike chimp head that hoots and hollers and follows you around with its eyes. WowWee's Alive Chimpanzee does everything a real chimp head does without that pesky chimp smell. It also benefits from some tough in-conference competition; battling it out with WowWee's Alive Elvis head and the fourth-seeded Robosapien on a regular basis means this chimp is used to bringing its A game. This is the dark-horse pick to win it all.
(Credit:
Caleb Goessling)
6. Nintendo R.O.B.
Any votes for R.O.B. will come straight from nostalgia, because Nintendo's game-playing robot sure didn't have many gaming skills. With only two compatible NES games (the forgettable "Gyromite" and "Stack-Up") and molasses-slow movements, R.O.B. was rarely part of any old-school gaming session beyond his first foray out of the box. These days, R.O.B. has hung up his Gyro Blocks and now has his own MySpace page.
(3) WowWee Alive Chimpanzee vs. (6) Nintendo R.O.B.: Who wins?
WowWee Alive Chimpanzee
Nintendo R.O.B.
====
(Credit:
WowWee)
4. Robosapien
Another selection from the ultracompetitive WowWee Conference, Robosapien has a bunch of tricks. Namely, belching, farting, caveman noises, dancing, and more farting. That's a nice little repertoire for $50, and Robosapien's hacker-friendly innards have paved the way for some sweet mods. This is another dark horse with an enthusiastic fan base that may propel it to the late rounds. It is also good at farting.
(Credit:
MacTechLab.jp)
5. Necoro
Necoro instills fear in any opponent. It's not because this lap-cat robot is particularly intimidating; it's because it's creepy as hell. Its jerky head motions and facial tics carefully mimic those of a meth-addicted Mr. Mittens, and it'd be hard to sleep knowing one of these was in your house. Still, in terms of sheer entertainment value, the awkward robo-cat is sure to pick up a ton of vote from all the YouTube-watching Necorophiles out there.
(4) Robosapien vs. (5) Necoro: Who wins?
Robosapien
Necoro
====
(Credit:
Mobile-review.com)
2. Sony QRIO
Hey, where's Aibo? Sorry. Sony's robo-dog was pummeled in the Sony conference finals by this lesser-known humanoid robot. Face and voice recognition, communication skills, and memory were some of QRIO's noticeable traits, but its smooth, fluid dancing moves (showcased in this Beck video) were QRIO's main drawing point. Development on the robot was halted before it hit store shelves, but you can't blame that on QRIO.
(Credit:
World of 2-XL)
7. 2-XL
Who would have thought that "The Smartest Toy Robot in the World" would be fueled by 8-track tapes? Mego's infotainment robot was released in 1978, and Tiger revamped the robot--adding a cassette deck instead of an 8-track player--in 1992. 2-XL asked trivia questions, told bad jokes, and is responsible for my life-long fear of electrocution, due to the fact that I got shocked when I tried to plug him in at my cousin's house.
(2) Sony QRIO vs. (7) 2-XL: Who wins?
Sony QRIO
2-XL
Note: Check back on Monday, September 3, for the results of these first-round battles as well as eight new first-round matchups (TV and movie robots)!
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