(Credit:
Steve Guttenberg)
Exploding batteries make headlines, but they're just the tip of the iceberg. If you've read owner's manuals, as I do, you see danger lurking everywhere. A couple examples:
"When not using remote controls, remove batteries. Do not take battery apart, heat it, or throw into fire." Curious kids do that kind of stuff all the time (I did), and the fine print in the owner's manual won't deter them. I suppose that the warnings are in there for legal reasons.
"Do not subject remote control to undue physical stress, such as striking it or dropping it." Wow, who would have thought that by merely dropping a remote, you're at risk. I guess that those of us with bare wood or tiled floors are living dangerously. Heed all warnings!
I haven't yet seen the next warnings in any manual, but it's just a matter of time before they appear.
"Do not put the battery in your mouth or swallow it." That's just common sense, but the tingling sensation of a few volts zapping your insides may...don't do it!
"Do not sit on batteries, and if you do, be aware that flatulence may pose additional risks." Of course.
... Read moreThe warnings aren't exactly subtle. The very first page of nearly every manual threatens, in large type: "Caution. Risk of electrical shock" and "Heed all warnings."
These cautions are used without any sense of proportion or logic. For example, A/V receiver owners are advised: "To reduce the risk of fire or electric shock do not expose this appliance to snow, rain, dripping or moisture." So forget about poolside installation of your new 200 watt per channel receiver.
(Credit:
Steve Guttenberg)
I liked this one, found on a single speaker surround system manual, "Do not touch hot spots during and immediately after use." I guess these warnings are used by the company's lawyers in cases of product liability, but do they work?
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I think we have proved beyond reasonable doubt that the plaintiff, Mr. Jones, willfully touched his Acme Z1000 speaker's hot spots, which unfortunately resulted in the loss of his pinky finger. The defense rests."
Here's one from an A/V receiver manual: "Use only with the cart, stand, tripod, bracket or table specified by the manufacturer, or sold with the apparatus. When a cart is used, use caution when moving the cart/apparatus to avoid injury from tip-over." Huh? So in other words, by placing your new receiver on unauthorized furniture, you're at some risk.
Then again, it doesn't say anything about dropping the 42-pound receiver on your foot when placing the receiver on a cart, stand, tripod, bracket, or table specified by the manufacturer. So there's a loophole. Let the lawsuits begin.
... Read more
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