Apple

You have, perhaps, been taking additional fiber since you heard about the iPhone farting-app litigation.

iFart was fingered by Pull My Finger for using a phrase redolent of nothing more than a very happy night among very sad people.

I can now reveal that the evil odor is over. Fresher air has prevailed. The two farting apps have partaken of a peace pipe and declared the spat to have blown over. They have even created a new app to prove that the air is now safe to breathe.

(Credit: iFart and Pull My Finger)

However, should you have not had so much as a sniff of these happenings, please let me throw caution to the wind and explain.

You see, many inspiring minds have been dedicated to creating the most fragrant farting apps. Yet the chaps at Air-o-Matic (why didn't they call the company Air-o-Mantic?) decided to release lawyers upon the alleged bums at InfoMedia, the makers of iFart.

"You're pulling our legs, if you use the phrase 'pull my finger'," the Airheads might have said. "We have the trademark."

Yet the infidels from Infomedia contended that the phrase was part of the language. As steam rose from each company's base, no one could be sure if these fine conglomerates would be able to smell the roses.

Even our generation's Walter Cronkite, Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show," failed to exert the principles of Camp David upon these purveyors of stench warfare.

So how nostril-positive it is to hear that the noxiousness has been replaced by a joint app created in one corporate bathroom.

Yes, let us welcome the Clear The Air app, which is being offered free to all iPhone and iPod Touch finger pullers.

Clear the Air, the product of some brilliant 30,000-foot thinking, offers you four methods to make the oxygen around you more uplifting. You can turn on a desk fan, spray a little deodorizer, open a window, or even push your finger on an aircon button.

This vastly imaginative solution is proof that any dispute can be solved, once you create the right atmosphere.

While declaring that letting the lawyers win in litigation was clearly beneath both companies, InfoMedia's Joel Comm went on to suggest in a press release that it was "more in the spirit of humanity to find a way to work together".

What a lovely day it is, when the bottom falls out of a lawyer's fees.