Apple

It seems that Apple doesn't respect Verizon's Droid phone quite as much as it does Microsoft's PCs. But two new ad spots, launching Monday evening, come as close as Apple has done thus far to directly attack the allegedly do-it-all robotphone.

The Droid, you see, went after Apple in its teaser campaign with some telling remarks and the hearty claim that Droid does what the iPhone doesn't. Then Verizon decided it would be fun to knock both the iPhone and AT&T's spotty 3G coverage with its "Misfit Toys" concept.

AT&T has already replied by hustling a hastily-dressed Luke Wilson into directing a few resentful pins at Verizon's effigy. However these new ads, while entirely in keeping with the iPhone tone and style, end with a line that expressly assaults the doings of Droid--or rather, its alleged non-doings.

Both ads focus on the iPhone's ability to allow you to use voice and data capabilities simultaneously over the AT&T network. By asking gently at the end of each spot "Can your phone and your network do that?" Apple is bursting what it sees as the inflated stealth bombing that accompanied the launch of the Droid.

Apple iPhone Ad - Did You See My Email? from Arik Hesseldahl on Vimeo.

Apple iPhone Ad - What Time's The Movie? from Arik Hesseldahl on Vimeo.

These ads don't mention the Droid or Verizon by name. But the fact that Apple has decided to address its rivals, however obliquely, suggests that one can look forward to more accusations, more bickering, and more attempted one-upmanship.

'Tis the season of goodwill, after all.

Art knows no boundaries. Neither does the level of emotion inspired by an assault on the culture of Apple.

Just last week, Verizon's Droid attempted to offer a hearty dose of spittle to the iPhone, so one upset Apple aficionado has decided that the Good Empire must strike back.

He has created a YouTube rebuttal that, he believes, offers some perspective.

He says: "iDon't need scare tactics." He says: "iDon't need to imitate." And he declares that the force is with him because "iDon't need a Droid...unless it's R2D2."

Sometimes it's hard to reach the decision that one doesn't need a product whose buttons one has never pushed.

However, one is touched that this person's heart is in an honest and sensitive place. Until, that is, one reads the line that says: "iDon't buy brands that bash other brands."

Perhaps my senses have left me for a well-deserved vacation on Pluto, but I seem to recall Apple rather merrily bashing Microsoft and, indeed, PCs in general, for quite some time now. The Cupertino company does it very well, often with an exalted level of wit.

Yes, as some readers have pointed out, he does offer an "iOops" as a signal to a certain irony.

But this movie still might leave viewers, rather like those who braved "Showgirls" and "Vanilla Sky," somewhat less than fulfilled.

Could the new Droid finally be the smartphone to knock the Apple iPhone off its pedestal? Droid partners Verizon, Motorola, and Google are positioning it as such.

The latest Android-based smartphone, the Droid, could debut as early as October 30, according to a cryptic countdown code on Verizon's Web site that promotes the new device.

Verizon has set up its Droid promo page with direct challenges to the iPhone, with such slap-in-the face headlines as: "iDon't have a real keyboard," "iDon't run simultaneous apps," and "iDon't allow open development." And "everything iDon't...Droid does."

The page goes on to tout all that the Droid does offer, including high speed, multitasking, networking, a high-resolution screen, speech recognition, directions, video, music, and more than 10,000 apps.

(Credit: Verizon)

The Droid is the same smartphone formerly known as the Motorola Sholes, so some technical specs have already been known.

The phone will run the new Android 2.0 operating system. It will provide a 3.7-inch touch screen along with a slide-out QWERTY keyboard. The 5-megapixel autofocus and flash camera will offer both still and video recording. Wi-FI, Bluetooth 2.0, and GPS are there as well.

Calls to Motorola, Verizon, and Google for further details were not immediately returned.

But Web sites are already touting the Droid as the hottest phone that will hit the market in awhile.

The Boy Genius Report site says it's already gotten its hands on a Droid, revealing a few key details. The phone is just slightly thicker than an iPhone 3GS, says the site, sporting a "pretty usable," ultrathin, sliding QWERTY keyboard.

Powered by a Texas Instruments OMAP 3430 processor (the same chip used by the Palm Pre), the Droid is the fastest and most impressive Android device that Boy Genius says it's seen. (Google reportedly had a strong hand in its design.) The site also is gushing over the phone's display, calling it the best screen so far on an Android handset.

The TechCrunch site calls the Droid a three-way effort among Motorola, Verizon, and Google. The site says that, according to people who've tried out the device, the Droid is the "most sophisticated mobile device to hit the market to date from a hardware standpoint." TechCrunch sees it as "Android's flagship product, and the first phone that will pose a significant threat to Apple's iPhone."

Verizon has often been a mixed bag for many customers, offering a reliable, high-speed network but lacking a must-have smartphone a la the iPhone.

There I was watching the Yankees suck yet another victory from the very duodenum of defeat, when along came a rather sweet Apple TV spot.

You know, music that makes you glad your lungs function even after a night on the tequila, and a white background with a soothing typeface telling you some simple things that Apple will do to make you even happier.

Then I put down my cup of green tea (Decaf, naturally. Only way to watch the Yankees) and realized that this was a rather vicious list of the iPhone's alleged shortcomings: the inability to run simultaneous apps, for example. And the lack of 5-megapixel imagery.

I still wasn't quite convinced that this wasn't Apple with a cheery punchline. But no, this was somebody throwing a nasty right cross at Cupertino's double chin.

For there was the line "iDon't allow open development." Closely followed by "iDon't have interchangeable batteries."

Well, goodness, this was somebody who had sauntered into the temple and tossed curse words toward the altar.

I realized this just as the ad ground to a slightly freaky halt and the words told me "Everything iDon't...Droid Does."

Please forgive me if I didn't immediately realize that Droid was a phone rather than yet another awful horror/zombie/paranormal movie/video game/TV series.

However, I am told that this little tease (as one calls it in the persuasion trade) is the precursor for the imminent launch of Verizon's Droid antiphone, a sort of sane lover after you've been through a few rather colorful ones.

I have no idea what this Droid thing will look like. Although perhaps it would be a positive step if it had a pointy head, nasty little eyes and spoke to you in extra-terrestrial tones.

However, I am pleased that someone has taken the trouble to produce an ad that seems to offer a little hope for anyone whose delicate self-image would urge them to be seen with something other than an iPhone.

There are more of them out there than you would ever believe.