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Digital kids

MySpace reaching out to parents

By Stefanie Olsen
Staff Writer, CNET News.com
Published: April 11, 2006 4:00 AM PST
Last modified: April 12, 2006, 7:34 AM PDT

The media frenzy around MySpace.com has struck a nerve with parents fretting about what their kids are doing online.

Now the social networking site, along with other Net companies and child advocate groups, is trying to calm those parents about what their kids are doing online and what tools they have to deal with it.

On Tuesday, MySpace and other Fox-owned interactive media properties announced the hiring of a chief security officer, Hemanshu (Hemu) Nigam, a former Justice Department prosecutor who specialized in child exploitation cases. When he starts work on May 1, he will handle all education, safety, privacy and law enforcement programs for MySpace and other Fox properties.

MySpace has also hired more employees to handle security and customer care--roughly 100 people, or one-third of its workforce, scout out inappropriate content or underage members.

"Lots and lots of parents want their kids' profiles down," said Parry Aftab, executive director of WiredSafety.org, a nonprofit organization that provides safety and health information. Aftab has worked for years with MySpace and other social networks to design safety guidelines. "But we all need to take a breath and fashion solutions to address the real problem, which is how much information kids are putting online and who are they communicating with online."

On Monday, MySpace teamed up with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) and the Advertising Council, the people responsible for the Smokey Bear ads, to introduce a new ad campaign targeted toward teens online.

The print, television and interactive ads encourage kids not to "believe the type," in one example, urging them to be more critical when it comes to talking to strangers online and reading material online.

"Teens often have a sense of immortality," said Ernie Allen, president of NCMEC. "We want them to understand...that what they're doing (when they post information about themselves online) is opening a window to people who may not have the best intentions."

"We want them to understand...that what they're doing (when they post information about themselves online) is opening a window to people who may not have the best intentions."
-- Ernie Allen, president, The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

Sites such as kids network Imbee.com and Yfly.com, a "teen-only" social network started by actor-singer Nick Lachey and backed by Aftab, among others, are cropping up to promote a safer online environment for teens and kids. Yfly.com, for example, lets users hit a button called "Report a creep" if someone is acting suspicious on the network. MySpace also has several areas and options for members to report offensive images, members or language.

It's no wonder.

MySpace adds as many as 250,000 new members daily and continues to be in the media crosshairs over safety. On Sunday night, a "Dateline NBC" report on the amount of information kids divulge online had even more parents eager to shut their kids' sites down.

"As a parent, we have taught our son not to talk to strangers. But once they start befriending a stranger on the Internet, lots of information can and will be shared because they think they have found a new friend," one Pennsylvania parent of a 16-year-old said in an e-mail interview.

Teens were similarly complaining of parents meddling in their space on MySpace. "Now, not because I don't trust Myspace, but because I feel my prvacy (sic) has been invaded by my parents, my blogs will cease to be personal," one teen member wrote. "I feel I can no longer rant on here because I fear my parents are going to see it."

Parents do have some control over what their kids do on MySpace.

According to the MySpace FAQ, the site requires members to be at least 14 years old--those who aren't will have their profiles removed. MySpace security monitors sites for discrepancies in the stated age of the member and information posted on their site and will remove any such sites.

If parents discover their underage child posts to a MySpace profile, the parent can e-mail the company at "customercare@myspace.com," and include information on the child's member name and unique Web address. MySpace will remove the profile.

But for children 14-years-old and older, the parent must talk directly to their teen. MySpace encourages parents to talk to kids about what they're posting online and work with them to modify it or remove it. If parents want their child off MySpace, they must obtain his or her username and password and delete the profile from within "account settings."

For its part, MySpace keeps profiles "private" for 14-year-olds to 16-year-olds, meaning that only people accepted by those members may view the teens' profiles and pages. The company also removes member profiles that fail to adhere to its policies, including defamation or solicitations of minors.

Aftab and her organization are also working to educate and empower parents with tools to protect kids online.

• Aftab advises parents to ask their child if he or she has a MySpace profile. If so, ask why. By asking why, parents can fashion their response and a solution based on the child's answer. For example, if a teen is using MySpace to socialize with friends, then a parent could advise a child to limit their profile only to friends.

• Aftab also suggests that parents give a child 24 hours notice before looking at their MySpace page, reassuring their child that they won't "freak out." Given notice, the child can examine their Web page through their parents' eyes and make modifications to be safer. "If you give kids no notice, you're in enforcement, not education mode," she said. Tell them to clean up the site, if needed. Thereafter, parents should check their child's page often.

• Teach children to password-protect everything they wouldn't want to see on a billboard. If kids are using MySpace to connect with friends, as most are, they don't need to post home addresses or school locations.

• Teach kids to review their friends' pages and have those friends remove any personal information posted about themselves.

• Educate kids not to post anything about themselves they wouldn't want parents, principals, teachers, predators or college recruiters to see, because "it's going to be there for a long time," said Aftab.

After that, she added: "Let's not throw the Internet out with the MySpace bath water."

Send insights or tips on this topic to stefanie.olsen@cnet.com.

Add a Comment (Log in or register) Showing 1 of 2 pages (57 Comments)
how much personal info to put on the net
by tech_junky April 11, 2006 8:54 AM PDT
like it says, a lot of the problem is parents arent drilling it into their kid's heads that, no, you don't post exactly where you live, what school you go to along with you class schedule - if kids would stop posting such personal information the problem wouldnt be nearly as big as it is

the 2nd big part of the problem is that it has been blown WAY out of proportion - there was an article on one of my local news stations (tv) the other night about how a detective had something like 175 people on his Myspace buddylist within 2 weeks of making a profile acting out as a 19 year old (i think thats how old he made himself out to be on his profile) - the thing is (from what I've heard from people that use myspace) is that people add buddies casually just for minute little commonalities and dont really give much of a damn about the person aside from that - so ya, you can say "I have 175 friends" but you'll also have to mention that "and not a one of us gives a damn about the other aside from what part of last nights show they liked best"

the 3rd big part of the problem is false user accounts - of course you dont want to put on your profile meant for picking up girls your age that you like saturday morning cartoons because it'll come across as too childish to pick up the girls you're looking for, so what do you do - you go make a secondary profile that says all of the stupid stuff you really wanna say. the bad part of it is, you put down on that secondary profile that you are 15 so it seems (slightly) more age appropriate to be watching kiddy cartoons - then you get some 15 year old girl liking you, and well, you can imagine where it goes from there (the myspace child-predator horror stories that get so hyped up)...
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Privatizing 14-16yr old profiles
by jdcvv April 11, 2006 8:59 AM PDT
While it is all well and good that myspace.com puts on a "concerned" face for the public buy making 14-16yr old profiles private, what it really does it make it harder for us as parents to monitor our children's online activity/conversations. With the profiles made private parents are unable to secretively view their child's myspace.com site to see what they are up to. To suggest that all we need to do is talk to our children and let them know about the dangers and etc. is an insult to our intelligence and our parenting skills. We have already done this.

I feel that myspace.com needs to step up to the plate and do what is right. If they actually cared for the youth of today they would take stronger measures to ensure the online safety of our youth. Implement strong verbal filters; make the site for adults only, whatever. Basically just about anything would be a bigger effort than they are making now.
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Tough Task
by blogtommy April 11, 2006 9:10 AM PDT
Probably largely due to the negative publicity Myspace now decides it's time to put on a public face of concern. Their little creation has grown into a bit larger a monster than most invisioned and now it's almost as if they're trying to start their own version of "parenting" with a "teenage site." As most parents will probably relate, if you're only now trying to "communicate" with your teen, you're probably wasting your breath. That said, the ultimate responsibility will always lie with parents and those bonds that they have with their children. If a 15 year old wants to use myspace for whatever purpose, he/she is going to get it done. Not an easy task to police this type of conduit, but perhaps the very discussion of it is at least a start.
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MySpace - age policy
by MsEvelyn April 11, 2006 10:06 AM PDT
As the parent of a 14 year old daughter whose MySpace account I deleted, I am outraged with MySpace's position that the 14-17 year olds have more rights than the parents. It is a proven physiological fact that the area of the brain responsible for judgement is not fully developed in teenagers. So regardless of what we teach our children, parents still must protect them. For MySpace to require parents to obtain the passwords from their children (ie "permission") in order to delete a minor's account is preposterous and in my opinion should be considered illegal.

Not only do teens have a strong sense of immortality and think they are invincible, they also have a very false sense of security when they are on the internet. How could it possibly be dangerous when they are in their own home, in their own environment, with their parents in the house? They may have been taught all the 'right' things and been informed of the possible dire consequences. Nevertheless, they will take risks because they think that they are safe.

MySpace is dangerous and the policies need changed NOW.

Concerned and Angry,

Evelyn Levino
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I agree All talk
by angfile April 11, 2006 11:52 AM PDT
I agree with the other writer. This is just talk. The only way to make a difference in the eyes of those we are trying to reach (namely the young) is to make internet safety a given. It should not be a sidebar conversation or hundreds of experts giving advice. Internet safety and the risks related to a wired lifestyle should be brought out into the open and made as open as the risks of crossing the street. That is the way we get through to teens, not by having meeting after meeting and warning after warning. I think more experts should be focussed on the tools to keep teens safe by putting the predator on notice that he is being watched. Right now everyone is talking about what the kids should not put on their profiles and how dangerous the big bad online boogeyman is. What we should be doing is giving the tools that give the teens the power. Empowered by knowledge teens are very intelligent young adults. One site taking this proactive approach and it is called www.321notify.com. These guys give the teens tools that they can use to make the predator think twice about approaching them. This is what Myspace and the other social networking companies should be focussed on. They should work with groups like this to make a difference in the mindset related to online safety. No longer victims protecting themselves, but safety conscious young adults.
My humble opinion.
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I just want to point this out
by techguy83 April 11, 2006 12:15 PM PDT
Myspace has been making underage profiles private for quite a while now, and for good reason. The only way someone can view a minor's profile is if the minor himself/herself adds the person. Also, anytime someone tries to add another person as a friend, you get a notice so that you can view their myspace site and decide for yourself if you wish to add this person.

It's not perfect, but it is a start.
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70 Million People..
by SeizeCTRL April 11, 2006 12:48 PM PDT
I don't care where you are at, you group together 70 million people, you are going to have problems. Doesn't matter if it's in a park, church, airport, baseball stadium, playgrounds (assuming these places could hold 70 million people) you will run into the same sort of issues. The problem isn't with myspace, it's just a numbers thing.

I don't see parents throwing a fit over Catholic Churches for their child molestation problem committed by priests... as far as I know, parents still brought their children every Sunday as scheduled by God.

Perhaps if mommy paid a little more attention at home instead of watching Desperate Housewives, this wouldn't be an issue. 70 million people, there will be a few bad apples... I'm sure kids were being molested well before MySpace, I'm sure staturory rape was a problem long before MySpace, so where is the real issue?
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Deleting a profile in MySpace
by tvierra April 11, 2006 1:04 PM PDT
When it comes to deleting a profile, things are not so clear on MySpace. They give you vague instructions in the "Help" section.

1) If you have the email address your child signed up with and the MySpace password, then you can go into account settings and select the Cancel option. However it doesn't stop there. That only sends a code to the email address they signed up with. Now you have to have THAT password as well and get the code to enter it into the final step on MySpace acct. Now sure this even works--I was unable to do this because my son "forgot" his email password.

2) In this case, MySpace says just to "delete all the content" from the profile and type in "Remove Profile" in the ABOUT ME section. This supposedly will alert them that a parent has taken over the acct and wants it removed.

3) I tried that and it's been a week and the profile still exists. By the way, they don't actually give you any hints as to HOW to delete the content. Most kids are prolific and leave messages all over the place. You'll never get them all. The place to start is shutting off access to the information on your child's acct. Disallow profile comments unless approved. Actually change the screen name your child has chosen to something else. Uncheck all the information your child chose to show. Go in an "edit" all the pieces of the profile, thereby changing the look of the site as well. You can delete all the friends, but you may want to wait to do that last. Because you can delete your child's comments on OTHER profiles as well, but some of them are set to "friend only" viewing. Go delete any comments you find first, then delete the friends and put "Remove Profile" in the ABOUT ME section.

My last point would be that almost all of my child's friends easily revealed enough information for me to know things like ages, teachers, class schedules, social activities- past and future, family member's names and other family details, including area of town or street in some cases. The sad thing is, I didn't really have to look for it. I was simply looking for and deleting all my son's stuff (which took about 4 hours BTW!).
Talking to your child is one thing, but it is just to easy for children to do what they wish in spite of good sense. Really as parents we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand you don't want to blatantly spy all the time, but on the other hand, people who engineer these sites must make it a bit easier for us to control what's going on with our children, short of disallowing internet usage. This whole process was a complete hassle and MySpace still hasn't deleted the acct!
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Block MySpace
by hughbaxter April 11, 2006 1:20 PM PDT
There is a free Web filter available at www.getK9.com. It works great. I use it to block MySpace altogether. Problem solved.
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parents calm down
by x101shortyx April 11, 2006 8:07 PM PDT
I am a teen myself, and I really think that all of you parents are getting in over your head. My parents know me and my little brother have a myspace. They check it randomly and tell us what [if anything] is innapropriate or should be left out or changed. I know if my parents said i could no longer have a myspace, I would rebel and probably just make another one. Im not saying myspace isnt a bad thing because it can be, but unless your children are really talking to people they dont know and meeting people over their myspace you really shouldnt worry. Just go through their friends page and ask them who certain people are who dont look familiar to you. Making your child delete it really wont do any good. Maybe for the time being, but not for long. Unless your child is in real danger, i wouldnt worry. pretty much my whole school has a myspace, and i havent heard anything about harm happening to anyone.

I just wanted to give a teenagers perspective to these parents who say they were "furious and outraged" etc. If you didnt know your child had a myspace in the first place, do u really care about your child? i mean to me its obvious if you pay any attention to a child myspacer. If you dont know whats going on in your own home, i would be more worried about whats going on outside your home.
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Don't Just Block
by retiredgamer April 12, 2006 6:37 AM PDT
As one of the first of the "online generations" and now in my mid 20's, I can offer some advice too few parents seem to be adhering to: Don't Delete a Child's Myspace Account! Here's why:

1.) Your kid is probably far more tech savy then you are, even if he/she is not, they've got way more time then you to find a work-around to your efforts.

2.) Forcing your kid to remove a profile can be a huge blow to the childs social learning. If most the other kids are doing it (which they usually are) then most social events and much of the necessary interactions required for good social development are conducted online.

3.) When I was a kid it was hard to hang out with friends alone... we'd work extra hard to find back ally's, undersides of bridges, and other dark places kids shouldn't be just for a feeling of independance. I'd rather my kid got that feeling online then in some remote unsafe location.

4.) Monitoring a myspace account is easy. Go online and see what your kid is doing. If you want, be put on their friends list. You'll have complete access that way. If you don't have time for this, refer to #1.
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Control scope of publishing; control the problem
by industriouskid April 12, 2006 11:33 AM PDT
They most realistic way to solve the dilemma around children and the content they publish within open social networking is to address or rather control who they publish their information to..instead of trying to control what they say. Which to some degree is a losing battle.

If children only had the ability to publish their information / content to real people that they know, in an environment which was separate from the open Internet (meaning not accessible via indexing and search) then 95% of the issues popping up would be mitigated.

If you combine inexperienced users, with self generated content that is then published in an open environment or platform?..then parents will continue to have a reason to be concerned for their children?s safety. At Industrious Kid, we?re working hard to solve this particular problem and we look forward to offering a solution at the end of this month.
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Just don't...
by bobj123 April 12, 2006 10:15 PM PDT
use the service if your going to complain and go awall on your child. Myspace has been around for quite sometime, I myself have had a profile since it started. And have had no problem what so ever. Kids that post false info and befriend people from California when they live on the east cost is a classic move for people on the internet. They are obviously lack "real Life social skills" or are just plain sad and create a new identity online. But this has been around since the dawn of the internet.
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wow, just stop this nonsence.
by stupidityeats April 13, 2006 2:45 PM PDT
why the HECK are stupid people doing this to us.. WE ARE HUMANS TOO! all you rich stupid little wenches who are trying to take myspace away... and mess it up for teens and EVERYONE, WERE NOT TAKING YOUR RIGHTS TO CUT DOWN OUR SOURCE OF OXYGEN [trees] SO YOU CANT BUILD YOUR BIG UGLY MASIONS ANYMORE ARE WE? NO! so you have no right saying that myspace should be banned or all this bull crap, because with out trees we die you stupid idiots. MYSPACE IS FINE! if you are cautious and careful and SMART NOT TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE then you will be fine. AND to all you not as wealthy people who are messing it up for us... JUST STOP! dont be angry at the world that you have to work all day, while teens just go to school and come home and maybe sit on myspace all day... we have to work too one day.. so CHILL OUT! if you have a problem with myspace and your child's safety on it, then tell YOUR OWN CHILD to shut theirs down or whatever, stop using it. DONT RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF US WHOM PARENTS DONT MIND, TRUST AND RESPECT THEIR CHILDREN WHO HAVE MYSPACES. my mom has seen mine and she says ITS FINE. so back off, and leave myspace users alone. maybe you all should one... THEN you would be in the same postion i am now.

--take the freakin stick out of your butt and CHILL OUT ABOUT MYSPACE. oh and that new person in charge of it, NO ONE LIKES YOUR IMMAGRANT BEHIND ANYWAYS.

screw off.
*stupidityeats TB*
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this is rediculous!!!
by nvgege April 13, 2006 9:55 PM PDT
Ok.. I'm 18 years old, and I've had a profile on myspace for a lil over a year now.

I find this REDICULOUS that these parents are reacting this way!! Like seriously if they dont like their kids being on myspace & if their child is under the age limit then they should do something about it. MAYBE they should stop trying to blame people for their mistakes & take action & sit their kids down & tell them how dangerous it could be to give out personal information to people they dont know! But instead of doing that they want to point fingers.. I'd hate to say this, but everytime u point a finger at someone you have 3 POINTING BACK AT YOU!!!!!!

MySpace isnt a bad website!! Its very popular with teens, young adults, and even some adults have a profile there. I dont understand why everyone is over reacting about this!! MySpace just gives us young adults something to do while we're online. I know alot of times i'll be sitting in front of my computer bored out of my mind & then I'd go and log into myspace & start chatting with my friends!

I see it like this, AOL has chat rooms, myspace is similar to AOL the only difference is that AOL is an ISP & they charge money, & MySpace is a website and its for TEENS, YOUNG ADULTS, ANYONE OVER THE AGE OF 16!!

There is one thing I did want to point out though, I have noticed some girls & some boys that are under the limit age that lie on their profile and say they are 18 or 19 years old.. Maybe those concerned parents should be worried about that. Or maybe they should be worried bout what music their children listen to.. YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED to take away the LITTLE privacy us teens have just because some parents dont know how to do their jobs & keep an eye on their children!!
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Keep kids safe but dont harrassh the ones that are good
by KOH22 April 14, 2006 6:10 AM PDT
I know there are preverts out there that just want the harrassh kids, i agree they are sick, but the ones of us out there that are just wanting to meet new people and express ourselves this is really hurting us, just stop kids that are 17 and younger from joining, its just that simple, if you stop them preverts will have to stop looking on myspace for them.
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Staying safe online...
by that_hawaiian April 14, 2006 8:36 AM PDT
Hi. I, myself, am a teenager(I hope there arent any perverts that want to come find me now!) and I am also a user on myspace.com. I feel that Myspace is only as safe as you, as an individual, make it. Yes, there are perverts on Myspace that are looking for young girls and boys to talk to, but honestly, if you're under the age limit & on Myspace, you're basically asking for some stalkers. Once again, I myself have a Myspace & I have had one for almost 2 years now. Never once have I met anyone in person that I met on Myspace, unless they were someone that lived in the next town over AND was friends with some of my friends, IN PERSON, already. Myspace can be fun, as long as you're not stupid about it. If you post half-naked pictures of yourself, OF COURSE there will be pedophiles looking at it. If you post your phone number or address on your profile, OF COURSE that makes you more at risk for online predators. It's all commmon sense. If you're smart, you'll stay safe. That is all you need to know to be on Myspace. I also believe that all people who are underage MUST BE deleted off of myspace.com. They're simply not mature enough to handle the realities that:1)No one wants them there except for pedophiles & 2)Not everyone is who they claim to be. That's it. That's all that Myspace needs to change.
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MySpace needs a name change..
by imacpwr April 16, 2006 7:48 AM PDT
Let's just call it what it really is:

"MySpam"

At least 98% of what I recieve in my MySpace inbox gets flag as Spam and it just keeps rolling in..
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As a parent it is easy to see what is going on...
by luke4124 April 22, 2006 2:14 PM PDT
The fact that myspace is now reaching out to parents is
something less than a joke, the proverbial drop in the ocean.

The reality is this, kids are going to do what they want no matter
what steps parents take to protect the best interest of their
children / teens.

Internet access is available outside of the home as well, and
there is little we can do as parents to "protect" our kids from the
internet / myspace.

So this position myspace has taken to reach out to parents
means what exactly???

Look, we as parents already know what goes through the
teenage mind, (we were there once too you know) this is why it
is easy to see what is really going on with it.

So, to all you myspacers out there fighting to preserve your
precious myspace rights, just remember that perhaps you too
will be a "parent" some day and the role will be reversed.

Myspace is a parental concern, and for good reason, not because
of "myspace" as a social networking tool.

I think it is time for the X & Y generation to take some
responsibility in this "myspace controversy" and stop with this
narrow view on life (seems only to focus on themselves). Stop
with all the garbage that there is nothing wrong with "Myspace"
well that may be true, it is just the human element of myspace
that I have a problem with. (the people on it)

So, to the 50 million teens out there flirting and psoing on
myspace... I say clean up your act! so that we don't have to.

As for the parents out there, this is not best addressed as
parnets vs. teens it is about approaching this a a family.

Teens need to some how identify with parents concerns and
learn to honor the requests if they value the integrity of their
family unit. If you do not value your family then you should
move the hell out and stop blamming Mom & Dad for ruining
your chances of being a brain surgeon!

Go ahead and give yourself to "myspace" see where it gets you
emo!
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Swimming With Sharks
by A_Parent May 3, 2006 9:58 AM PDT
I trust my daughter's judgment on the type of friends she hangs out with, the way she conducts herself away from home. I encourage her with regard to her artistic expression. I applaud her originality in terms of her style of dress. I trust her not to hand feed sharks, but...I won't let her swim with them. I blocked access to myspace from my home computer (using stopspace.com) not because I desire to impede my daughter's growth or freedom, but because there are other ways to foster her talents, and safer outlets to express herself in environments that don't carry the risks associated with Myspace. I don't trust the mechanisms Myspace has employed to privatize the sites of younger account holders, and feel Myspace's attempts at reaching out to parents are too little, and too late for the ones already going under the water.
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