Perspective: My Facebook fetish

Marissa Mayer still won't give me the time of day.

I've tried several times to become her Facebook pal. But Google's oh-so-precious vice president of "Search Product and User Experience" (now there's a hefty title) wants nothing to do with me. Maybe I should take a hint and get lost. But rejection--especially of the cyber sort--is awfully tough to take.

Before you conclude that I'm some kind of pervert, the truth is that I'm not the only Facebook stalker out there.

Hardly a day goes by without a total stranger asking to become my Facebook friend. Sometimes, the invitation arrives out of the blue. More usually, my wannabe buddy finds me through a common acquaintance--the logic being that a friend of a Facebook friend naturally means we have something in common and so, voila--cyber menage a trois.

I've since returned the favor--many times over. Whenever my boss strolls by, I can cover my tracks by telling him I'm doing research into social networks. That's not entirely a fib. A lot of other people I know confess to the same guilty pleasure. Trolling through their friends' buddy lists has become something of a way to pass the a.m. downtime as you sit down with the day's first coffee.

A lot of other people I know confess to the same guilty pleasure. Trolling through their friends' buddy lists has become something of a way to pass the a.m. downtime as you sit down with the day's first coffee.

I suppose this may sound like a pretty goofy way to spend time. More than anything else, though, I'm curious about who my friends allow into their private cyber domains. Call it a Facebook fetish, but maybe somebody I know managed to land a big fish like Bill Clinton or Sting or even Joe Pepitone.

Like they say in the Lotto commercials, you never know. And because Facebook is a "social" network, I can then ask to become their "friend."

In theory, at least.

Even though I've got a few big names on my list of "friends," it's not as if Jim Cramer or Steve Case is planning to invite me over to Thanksgiving dinner (or vice-versa). It's more akin to collecting baseball cards as a kid. Everybody on the block wanted the A-listers because they were the ones who inspired the oohs and ahhs. After all, bragging rights are bragging rights.

How easy was it to get these guys? Piece of cake. All I had to do was ask.

Of course, this can quickly get out of hand. Maybe that's why Marissa keeps giving me the cold shoulder. I don't take it personally. In fact, I've hit the "ignore" button on many a request since joining the service earlier in the year.

There's obvious risk in being too loosey-goosey on a social network. When it comes to accepting or dismissing people as "friends," I want to know a lot more about them before opening the veil on a big part of my life.

You don't want to let just anybody into the club. And so the system lets you act like a snob without ever giving it a second thought.

If this sounds like a major time suck, it is. That's one reason behind the recurring rumors about possible multibillion dollar bids for Facebook. My hunch is the reports are founded on solid ground. I don't pretend to know the ultimate price tag, but Facebook's enviable "stickiness" will be a potent bargaining chip when management tells any would-be buyer how much it's going to cost.

In the meantime, Marissa, I'm still available.

Biography
Charles Cooper is CNET News.com's executive editor of commentary.

More Perspectives

[timcoyote]

Bummer

Maybe she just doesn't dig you. Maybe getting rid of the goatee will bring her around. Good luck dude.

[devans00]

Trolling Friend's Lists

I like to troll my friends' lists too. Not to hook up with random people but to connect to old co-workers or people we know in common who I've lost touch with.

Why would you want a Facebook friend you don't know? MySpace is different. I use that site more as a "baseball card" collection site.

[freewheel]

Facebook is for kids

LinkedIn is for grown-ups.

[eGenerations]

eGenerations is for the Experienced...

Ages 50+ in Over 45 Countries

[this1!]

its still not as bad as myspace

god is that one annoying, the only reason i dont get rid of that account is because I'm an idiot. I never use it, i get about 5 bogus friend requests a day, same picture with a different name, and my account has been hacked into twice...

[cheap_jeff]

Require CAPTCHA for friend requests

I found that enforcing the "Require CAPTCHA for friend requests" really cuts down the bogus friend requests. The bogus friends--you know, with the "View My Sexy Pictures Here, Because MySpace will Not Let Me Post Them" link--are auto-generated by MySpace "networking (spam) software". From your MySpace page: Home > Account Settings > Spam > Friend Requests

[skillingssucks]

Ick, an old guy on Facebook. ;-)

<eom>

[eGenerations]

thoughts on eGen?

Have you checked out eGenerations.com ? If not, take a look, and let me know what you think. Be a hard critic.

Nathaniel Adam Briggs
[e-mail]

[WJeansonne]

Personally, I find few of my friends use Linked in

On a regular, basis except for the maniacs who need to have 500+ people in their so-called "friends" network. It's like something they do if they are bored, like you said. Ditto for Facebook. I just don't see what the hoopla's all about quite frankly.

[itango]

For the 2 "youngsters" who

think that "old" people have no right to join facebook, or indeed have anything to do with the internet or technical issues:

Remember, one day, you too will be "old" and the younger generation will want nothing to do with you, and will let you know in no uncertain terms you are not welcome. You "kids" did not invent the internet, e-mail, telecommunications, etc. Although there are "old" people who are computer illiterate, I built my first computer in 1987, using a TV screen for a monitor, and a square piece of wood to support the motherboard. Those were the days when you really had to know what you were doing - no "point and click" with the mouse, but all software was command-driven.

I think it is funny, but my 37 year old son always asks me for help when something goes wrong with HIS computer or software.

[skillingssucks]

My post is in reference...

My post is in reference to this:
http://www.news.com/Ick%2C-old-married-guys-on-Facebook/2010-1025_3-6202499.html?tag=item