Comments on: When games stop being fun

Long a subject of half-serious jokes among devotees of computer and video games, game addiction is receiving serious attention lately as fantasy games such as "EverQuest" proliferate.

[mfiedor]

My story

I'm currently a 25 year old student at UCLA who is going to get kicked out for bad grades if he doesn't stop playing. The reason I've been slow in school is directly because of my addictive game playing. I've played games obsessively since Quake 2. I just can't stop.

There's always some new thing to explore, to accomplish, and to fantasize about. I've managed to "quit" on and off throughout the years, but then I come right back to it hard and I binge beyond belief. My parents have tried to prevent me from playing games but I would always resist them, and do the sneakiest things to get access so I could continue playing. I would withdraw myself completely from society and a social life, and when confronted about it, I would be embarrassed and further hide into cyberspace.

I currently do have a girlfriend, and have managed to control my playing, but I still get that nagging urge to play and run away and escape. It's obvious that I admit I have a problem. I came here and read and posted.

This is not what I want in my life, but it's replacing something I think I couldn't get.

I need help. NOW.

[oxleygt]

My experience with game addiction..

If there is one thing I can say I am an expert on at 26 years of age, it is video games and the addiction that comes with it. Up until several days ago (yes, I just quit playing online games less than a week ago..), I was addicted to online games for the last 11 years. Starting with Diablo 1 and ending here with World of Warcraft.

While I wish I had a story of destruction and loss to convey how horrible it is, I actually do not. Surprisingly, after reading alot of these stories and some very very bad ones on anti-WoW websites, I actually managed to balance my addiction and my "life" fairly well, as difficult as it was. Ultima Online was actually responsible for my dropping out of High School, but I did end up getting my GED to get into the Navy, and in the service, despite my constant playing, I led a fairly successful career. Now, I am in college, and until recently was balancing school work and WoW. No job, which I will talk about in a little bit.

The saddest thing to me was how extremely high I placed WoW's value in comparison to everything else in my life. In my list of values, I would say WoW was nearly #1 or #2, right next to college (being a high school drop out, and six years of military to ponder my mistakes, made college more of a personal vendetta that I HAD to conquer to prove to myself that I am in control of my life). I left my girlfriend (not entirely because of WoW, but partly), moved back in with my parents, and had no job. Now, the important thing to notice is that all of this was a matter of convenience. I did'nt have a job because I am getting money from my GI Bill to go to school and to live off of. I moved in with my parents because it is free rent, and I could afford to feed my addiction without working. I left my girlfriend (because she is horrible with money and is not very bright, but also..) because she got in the way of my playing time. Guilt free playing was the goal.

I played WoW since Nov' 04 (release), and basically had done just about everything in the game except hardcore raiding, which little did I know is the ultimate killer of a gamer's life outside of the game.

Anyways, enough of that. I quit several days ago after several odd occurences that led me to question the real value of the game in my life. My brother came to visit, and I found myself running up and down the stairs here at the house, checking on the game, and trying to visit with my brother. (at this point, I was botting 24/7 because I couldnt stand to play the game myself until the end-game content ((for those reading this that do not play the game, "botting" is the use of a 3rd party program that plays your character for you, so that you can do other things in your normal life. I know it does not make much sense, but it's intended purpose is to do the "boring tasks", so that you can enjoy the "fun" parts, without spending weeks getting to it yourself. and BTW, use of 3rd party programs, according to blizzard, is illegal in their game, and warrants an account ban. clearly Blizzard is all for people becoming addicts to their game. Money > Quality))). This showed me the light. How pathetic I was letting this stupid game control me like this.

Spontaniously, I got on the botting forums I frequented and announced my quitting. I went onto the WoW website, cancelled my subscription, and gave away my account to a fellow botter (after he read my forum post and messaged me.

Closing ideas. You, as parents, can do very little to help your children get off of this addiction. Even if you delete their accounts, they will find a way to play. The only effective way to stop this addiction is for your child to choose not to play anymore, and the one idea that convinced me not to play anymore was this....

If Blizzard announced that they would no longer be running the game servers, and that all production of WoW has stopped, what would you be left with? If you said nothing, you are correct. When the game is gone and something new comes out, you will be left with nothing. And after you play that new game, and it is gone and something else new comes out, you will be left with nothing again. I think most players will agree that MMORPG games like WoW and Everquest are not even "fun". They are a grind, intending to take very very long amounts of time to complete any tasks.

My best suggestion for those who do not want to completely quit playing games all-together would be to stop playing any MMORPGs, and instead play single player games. The single difference is that single player games are designed to be fun, not a grind.

Since I quit WoW, I have gotten a new job, ordered a bowflex (though I never really got fat, I just always wanted one cause I love to work out), and had way more time to work on school work with finals coming up. (side note: I maintained straight-A's while playing WoW. It is all a matter of willpower and the depth of your addiction).

Buy yourself a single player FPS (first person shooter) or a strategy game, and only play it when you are bored and just want to unwind. Keep in mind that there is no time limit on how fast you need to progress in the game. It is about having fun, not being the best.

Get a girlfriend, or boyfriend, and remind yourself everyday that she/he will provide you with a lifetime of love and companionship that is worth far more than a stupid video game that will innevitably leave you with nothing to show for it.

[Fedorov]

"My experience with game addiction.." is a perfect reply!

[yellow24]

Thank you South Park!

As a Mom, I never thought I'd ever be thanking the producers of South Park for anything. But last week's episode showed World of Warcraft as the insidiuosly addictive drug it is, confirming the unsettling feeling I had that my teenage son was in over his head with this game.

Wanting to learn more, I found this thread, and reading it has really opened my eyes to the action I must take--as I have seen my son start to display many of the compulsive and socially withdrawing behaviors mentioned and realize it may not be a thing he will just get bored with eventually. I thank all who have posted for your honest and provoking stories. I have printed many and plan to sit down and read them with my son this weekend. Thank you all.

[Cecil475]

South Park episode

In case you don't know, that episode was a paroding the game. The creators of South Park worked with the creators of World of Warcraft to make that episode possible.

For more info look below.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_love_not_warcraft

- Cecil

[hazeleyedgirl68]

Gaming Addictions

I'd be very interested in reading your article when you are done. I am not in the Chicago Area, but I am also a World of Warcraft Widow. I've been married for 20 years. We've had our problems, but have always managed to get past them. We bought the game as a gift for our son, but it became my husband's addiction. He turned into someone I didn't know and didn't like. He too would get up in the middle of the night and spend HOURs on the computer before sneaking back into bed. The computer was in our guest room and he'd even go in there when my son had a guest over. His excuse was that they don't wake up. This was just the beginning of his inconsiderate behavior. I never would have thought this would happen to me. If you are reading this and are considering purchasing the game, think again. It can happen to you. After 20 years of marriage, we are seperated. I packed up my things and left. He wants me to come back, but the game is still a major part of his life. That's a life I don't want.

[Embattle]

Stoppin Now!

I have been playing on and off for the past year and a half. on and off meaning on for 6 months...off for 3 on for 6 again. a person said that you should not blame the game, you should blame the person.. False! i say. Im a 21 year old Male, that has a fiance, and a 1 year old son. I refuse to play for 10 hours a day, so i play 2 to 4 hours each night. The reason why i blame the game, is because the creators did not make the game quick and short. It is NEVERENDING! Instances and raids can sometimes take 8 hours. there is no reason for blizzard to make such an in depth role playing game. I am no being faced with a huge addiction problem, my priorities are way off. I think about the game, NON STOP. I play with my son, i carry out a 40 to 50 hour week, i spend a descent amount of time with my family. but my thoughts are always on the world of warcraft. its so bad that, when i play with my son, my fiance will know exactly when i want to play the computer. i get figety, i get impatient, and i get angry. Whenever i get on to play (WOW) i immediately feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt. I get pissed at my fiance because, eventhough wrong, i feel like shes the one giving me the guilt trip. This stupid game is taking over my life. Im a gamer. probably for life. but this game WOW takes up 100 percent of my energy. forever i was denying the fact that i played too much. and i always tried to justify a reason for playing. tried to schedule out time frames that i could play so that i would not **** my family off. It doesnt work. Id say id be on for only an hour, and would get sucked into it for HOURS. "I just have to turn in this quest and im done!" id say. "Im going to my trainer in Stormwind and im finished." We need to capture one more flag, the game should be over soon." I cant leave this party, i just joined them, made a commitment. i dont want to look like an ass to all my ONLINE FRIENDS." it is so rediculous i can not believe that this personality has completely consumed me. 2 days ago i put an end to this. Stopped playing games all together. i do not want to lose my family,friends, and life to a stupid game. It made me feel so depressed, i got fatter, my eating habits sucked, my sleeping habits sucked, my morals and priorities are way out of wack. these past 2 days of spending my off time from work with my family, has made me feel so good and productive. me and my fiance havent argued once, my son is in a way better mood, i went to church, and i feel like im so full of life. hopefully someday in the future, i can game in moderation. we will not have a gaming console in my home till my son is old enought to understand how pointless it is. parents that are out there NEED TO SAVE their young ones, becuase i see an abundance of teenagers on WOW. and its rediculous. get your kids outside or they will end up 10 times worse than me. im a strong person, and thats why im able to admit my problem and attempt to stop. people that are weaker than I, are in BIG TROUBLE. gaming ruins lives. WOW ruins lives. take care hope my entry wasnt boring.

[bennyd122788]

good for you!

Its awesome that you can see this in yourself. Nothing is more important than your family, especially your young son. He should be getting 100% of your enrgies and not WoW. I wish you luck in breaking your habbit.

[Dauxx]

I don't understand,,,

I have no idea why the parents that post here are not buckling down on your children. If your child is under the age of 18, you can not blame them for an addiction you let them have. Who bought them the game? Who pays for their monthly fee? Who gives them a computer with un-limited time access? This is like any other life lesson you have taught your child as they were growing up. If I buy you this game, there will be limitations (if you think there might be an issue) I will NOT pay for this game, you will have to get a job to pay the cost each month. Password your computer. Maybe these options won't work, but if you're struggling with a child game addict, these are good starting options.

I am 24 years old, and I was out of my parents house when I started playing EQ2. I had my own job, paying for my own account. The thing that caught my eye on these boards is "When games stop being fun." For any gamers out there you know what I am talking about. Friends you have met and bonded with aside, The game alone is NOT fun anymore. I sit for hours of my day, and it is not for the next piece of gear, or the next amazing quest reward I receive. It is for the friends I have made. I am a very picky at making friends, a little shy even...and the people I am friends with, are people I have shared laughs with, and even shared real life struggles with.

From my experience as an addicted gamer, When friends leave, it's a downward spiral till each of them has quit the game. I can understand there are extreme cases of game addiction...but for the teenagers with social issues, there is hope for their parents. It's only a matter of time before their friends leave, and then they leave. I know this works, because I've seen it.

BTW...look up player auction sites for Everquest2 and WOW, look at how many people are selling their accounts and moving on with their lives. Look at the hundreds, and thousands of dollars people are making off of their game accounts. I think of it this way, when i'm done I will make some of my money back, and be able to spend that money on the things I should have been doing in my life.

I do have a mild game addiction, but I have a boyfriend of 6 years, and a beautiful 2 year old daughter...that love me. We spend time together in and out of the house. There is a happy medium to playing games...you just have to have people around you to show you what is more important in life.

To the Men and Women leaving their spouses over Games. I feel for you, truely I do. Take them to couseling, there's nothing more embarrassing then to tell a person "I am addicted to playing World of Warcraft, I have uber shiny fabled gear, and everyone thinks I am the best Tank on my server."

I'm rambling, thanks for reading.

[hazeleyedgirl68]

Games & Addictions

Some people can handle things in moderation and that is fine, it's not the case for everyone. It's not as easy as "taking your spouse to a counselor". I asked, begged and pleaded with my husband to go to a counselor with me. He told me "he didn't have a problem". I started going on my own. That is when I realized that this is not the way I wanted to live my life. After 2 years, I left. This was 2 of 20 years of marriage. I've been gone for about 3 months. Finally, my husband has realized what the addiction was doing to him. He's begging me to go to a counselor with him. The problem now......I gave up and don't know if I have anything else to give. Not only that, but I had to deal with this by myself. Now it's his turn. He is upset about all the time he wasted. The computer game has been removed and the discs for the game have been destroyed. Only time will tell if it is indeed too late.

[hazeleyedgirl68]

Games & Addictions

Some people can handle things in moderation and that is fine, it's not the case for everyone. It's not as easy as "taking your spouse to a counselor". I asked, begged and pleaded with my husband to go to a counselor with me. He told me "he didn't have a problem". I started going on my own. That is when I realized that this is not the way I wanted to live my life. After 2 years, I left. This was 2 of 20 years of marriage. I've been gone for about 3 months. Finally, my husband has realized what the addiction was doing to him. He's begging me to go to a counselor with him. The problem now......I gave up and don't know if I have anything else to give. Not only that, but I had to deal with this by myself. Now it's his turn. He is upset about all the time he wasted. The computer game has been removed and the discs for the game have been destroyed. Only time will tell if it is indeed too late.

[Jack O Jill]

Exactly

I'm not going to question your parenting because your child isn't mine and because I think Dauxx has said everything I could've said. I'd just like to tell you a few things from my point of view, a warcraft player. I still play the game, have since last year, probably will till it dies, but I attend college and have quite an enjoyable life at the moment. But to know what to do about a problem, you should understand the problem a little bit first. I see most of these posts coming from people that do not play the game. Something you have to understand is that this game is very boring by itself. I have friends on warcraft that I log onto just to talk to and joke around with or guild events scheduled that I log onto to attend. I think most of the parents are going about this problem the wrong way. Stopping your child from playing the game altogether is a bad idea, a very bad one. Your child has friends there, things to do, things he/she has left to do. It would be like your career yanking you away from your familiar surroundings and tossing you in a foreign country and telling you it was for your own good. While it may be true, you would miss your friends, your surroundings, you would feel angry and bitter at the person who put you here. In my opinion, I'd let them play, just moderate the time that they do so. Set four, maybe five, hours a day of their choosing that they can play, give extra time for good grades or whatever you think deserves extra time, cut off time for whatever you think deserves less game time. But again, suddenly taking it all away from them is a bad idea. They live in your house, not the other way around, my parents personally yelled at me to get off on a regular basis and it scared the **** out of me. While it worked, it wasn't the only answer, I find most parents these days are too timid or afraid to stand up to their own child to do so anyway. Well I apologize, I didn't intend to drone on for so long. I say all that to say that the game isn't just a way to pass the time for your child, try to sympathize with them a bit before you do anything rash and regret it. It's always best to completely understand the problem before acting, talk to your child and find a compromise, know everything about their habit before you condemn it.

[julame]

What is mild?

Hi there, what do you mnead when you say mild, how much time a
night is that? Also, as a partner of a 5 hour-a-night user, is it that
something fixable is missing in the relationship? Honest questions,
no judgement intended...

[Mdynanster]

You gotta realize

I know that when people see their kids stuck with an addiction they want to blame the product or whatever it may be itself, but you must know that there will not be an addiction, without the desire to get what it gives.

For Instance lets take WoW. WoW gives something everyone desires, adventure, excitement, easy access, its pretty cheap rate to get all these 14 dollars a month. But people are living these unfufilled lives without any goals or desires. WoW fills their gap, but only recently are the games able to consume them entirely. Psychologically what makes any thing addicting is the chemical stimulation, WoW gives people excitement, adrenaline even... this becomes addicting because most people live in their sheltered lives without any real life stimulants for these. Or just the plain old fantasy...

Wow or any video game in my opinion would not be one ounce as addictive they are, if people didnt feel the need to get such adventures...

Lets take the average nerd in any big highschool.

He has limited friends, he doesnt go out much, today's society limiting teens below the ages of 16-18 is ASTOUNDING compared to most global areas, however the american conservative point of view claims a 14 year old to go out clubbing is just rediculous. And it may be. But the kids in today our society, the people the grown ups anyone, wouldnt be so addicted if they had a fuller life. I mean these people with falling apart marriages are blaming this game, how can you do that when you must see the evidence plain as DAY that they arent caring about you, or even found something better than you, and if they think thats a game thats their problem, not yours, leave them move on... if you lost your man or wife to a video game i feel terribly sorry for you, but that marriage wasnt going to work if a mere game came between you.

I don't mean to come off crude harsh or mean, I am an addicted gamer myself... Ive been addicted to wow for the last 3 years or so, long hours of the day yes. But as a person I'm here reading everyones stories, I am so interested in what they have to say, i can relate on so many levels.

But i realize that i have had some seriou life issues to me into this place of addiction, like most other people. they just dont know what it is, and im starting to realize mine. I dont want to play the poor me card on you guys, because my crap doesnt matter to you. If i told you, you wouldnt take a life lesson from it. But i do fully apreciate people who have shared theirs because it helps me realize what my problems are and why ive been a bad person to the people that love me because of this game.

The game isnt the addiction, the people cant be hooked to this one game for forever, it will have to change it will have to meet new needs, and in most cases by anyone game the desires wont be met. Before i thought i was even addicted i knew my wow playing would come to a stop one day, it was my First MMO (quite the MMO) and not to sound like an idiot i met people in here who have helped me work through depressions life issues, the people that play here are smart, they are real people with real experiences. Ive even met a girl i think i could marry. I plan on meeting her, if i play the game or not regardless. (things just clicked im not en E perv)

As for my solution for parents, (im 17 years old) i think that you shouldnt put LIMITATIONS on your kids about anything. I think that you should let them learn the hard way, but that doesnt mean you cant steer them away things from games like this. Putting up limitations not only begins this human nature to try new and dangerous things, but it ignites this thing inside of people that make us want what we cant have... Dont MAKE your kids obey their desires by doing the radacal thing to get their thing on, offer them something more, something they can do thats healthier, offer them more options, try to ge them out there... i know this is a corny approach but from first hand experience, its the healthiest way and its probably the least hurtful way...

Sorry if it took you forever to read this, i hope to hear some comments on my points of view opinions, im 17 years old, wow addict since 15, and recently since i met this girl in game...its changed my perspective and reasons to play. Your kids need goals, they need things to do, they dont need to be limited, or told they cant do anything, thats what lowers self esteem, and brings the worst out of these situations.

[expirator]

Thanks a lot

this helped me so much, I was actually deciding if I should join the swim team, or play wow more. I think u helped me understand my addiction with this.

"WOW is rather like a book you can?t put down. And since you are writing the book yourself, you become more and more attached to the story."

The last two paragraphs helped me decide that what I really want is a girlfriend and a life outside wow. While I will probably not quit wow, I believe I am now better equipped to control my addiction.

[ConstructiveCrit]

A Change of Face

First I would like to apologize for the length of this post. It is the internet and it seems no one is interested in reading at length these days unless the message is posted by one with some sort of literary or influential background. So if you do happen to get through the whole thing I thank you for reading ahead of time and would ask that you express your views if you wish by replying to my comments. I enjoy ?constructive? criticism and a good debate on a subject that is rapidly becoming a mainstream problem.

Who I am:

I have been an avid gamer for the past 10+ years. I started playing Mario on original Nintendo with my dad and have not looked back. As far as MMOs, (Massively Multiplayer Online) it has been about six years since I started on my first ?adventure? with EQ and have since then played DAoC (Dark age of Camelot) and am currently playing WoW. I am 22 years old work two jobs, have a great social life, am doing as well as I see fit in school (I will get the paper that gets me that nice paying job which this country is so focused on, but that is another subject for another time), and work out and play sports on a semi-regular basis.

Am I addicted?

You bet, but who isn?t addicted to something or another that they enjoy? From work, to hobbies, to anything else that one can become compulsive over, the question that is at hand is how it affects you as a whole. Are you not meeting your goals for relationships? Are you not meeting your goals at work? Are you not meeting your goals for life? Any of the above questions and more relate to those that are wrapped up in any sort of activity that has either consumed them or moves to become a habit that conflicts with their goals in life.

Why I am posting:

Although I do sympathize for all those who have suffered greatly from playing such games as UO, EverCrack (EQ 1 and 2), DAOC (Dark age of Camelot), the one based on Star Wars, Final Fantasy Online, and now the 7.5 million strong WoW, along with many others, or have witnessed the disintegration of a loved one, it is truly all about the person and not the activity with which they partake in. This includes just about anything you can think of that can become addictive from the extreme cases with drugs to the guy or gal that works out to much.

As many of the "close minded" individuals have stated in their rants, and after completely assaulting the English language, it is those that have the problem that need the help. It is finding balance in your life and knowing when it is time to put the pipe, bottle, racket, weight, ball, and now even controller, down.

However you have to look at the addiction and not focus on the avenue with which they supply their habit. Too many people and groups continue to point fingers at the organization and how ?it? is the problem for their problems. It is not them it is you. Your not fat because McDonalds forced you to eat their food your fat because you can not control your eating habits, are suffering with a malfunctioning thyroid, or any a number of other ways that are uncontrollable which you might have been born with. Google ?McDonalds made me fat? and look at the results, it is comedic to say the least. I used this example not to poke at those individuals that are over weight, although many might think that is the case, but am using it as a great example for my forth coming points. As stated before, and will be reiterated throughout this lengthy post, it is the person not the activity or institution that is responsible for your and others problems.

Why you are Addicted:

I could post one of the many psychological explanations for why one becomes addicted, but you may Google that information, or better yet hit the library. What it boils down to is that you are addicted to WoW, or anything else for that matter, because of your inability to control a predisposition. You have, and millions like you, have been blessed with and have highlighted your addictive personality. You or yours are prone to enjoy and environment that takes you outside of the norm of this ever expanding monotony which they call life. The great thing is you have discovered it, can now move to correct the actions you have chosen, and move on to live a happier healthier life.

As the many groups that have been setup will point out there are places for you to get help such as chat rooms, and even web pages like EverQuest widows. If you feel the game is controlling your life then do something about it. It takes time to build the strength in order to release your self from any sort of addiction. Ask for guidance and help from loved ones or anyone else who you feel can help you get through your troubles.

Accepting life in general:

A question that I feel everyone should ask themselves is ?How do you wish to live your life?? Aside from some destructive motives such as Tyrannical thought and others such as murder, I think if a person wants to live that way then so be it. Whether or not one believes in an after life or not everyone at this moment has One and only One life to live Let me say that again. You have ONE and only ONE life to live. So live it how you see fit (Under certain restriction of law of course).


Well I am going to end this now as it has become rather lengthy and I have begun to ramble just a hair. If I feel like to continue posting my thoughts I might get around to it later.

Thanks for your time again :)

[colorlady47]

WOW game

I have a 18 year old son. I am convinced he is no longer doing the game....its doing him.
Help?
J in Orlando

[gamergurl]

Learn to relate to your gamer "addicts."

The gaming addicts you speak of, all seem to have many different problems, beneath their gaming. Things they have experienced, through out their lives, whether it be constant social cut-downs, a family who has never tried to understand their child, or parents who let their kids do whatever they want, and then turn around and tell the child what they are doing wrong.

I play many different games (including WoW), and I play them a lot when my schedule is open for relaxation. I have experienced my parents telling me that I have been playing WoW too much, and I would not listen to their comments. I have more self-control over my gaming, which many gamers have not experienced. I can say, that your suggestions to your "addict" are not going to help them because your suggestions are going to seem out of this world to them. You can not understand their love for gaming, and some of you even refuse to understand their love for gaming. For those who have spouses that play, this is usually what happens, and it becomes a contant fight every night over the game. Trust me, this is not the way to influence your spouse to quit the game. In the end you can't make them quit, you have to help them limit their play.

For those who have kids in highschool who play too much, just do the right thing and make them do their homework before they can play. Tell them you don't mind if they play, as long as they have their responsibilities in order before the game. This is how I allow myself to play. I get my work done for classes before I even think of gaming. Some people aren't able to do this, and yes they pay for it. I laugh at the people who live on their own and lose jobs over this game. But sadly, they have many other problems, rather than just gaming addiction.

Same goes out to you "WoW widows." Learn the game so that your husband will think that you care remotely about their reasons for playing. If your husband's character is a level 60 (soon to be 70) and they raid with a guild, tell them their raiding schedule has been laid on too think, and they have to limit their hours of raiding. If that doesn't work, then I can't even begin to wonder why you are still with a man that neglects you all day and night.

I'm not here to make pissed off comments to spouses, and parents who say the game is the devil. I'm here to tell you that you cannot take this away from your spouse or child like the game never existed. Learn to understand why they like the game so much, and what it is they do when they are playing. That is the only place to begin if you're trying to limit their use.

[Torva]

Long time gamer (Hopefully soon to be an x-gamer)

Okay, I'm 18 years old(Turning 19 next February).
I believe that I have been addicted to games since I was about 8 years old, when I first started to play Warcraft 2, Diablo and Starcraft.
I started out as what would probably be called a 'casual gamer' in that I played for less than 7 hours a week, however as the years went on it got the stage where at 12 I was playing for at least 20 hours a week.
Things steadily got worse, my grades suffered as a consequence, it was fortunate for me that I was and still am reasonably intelligent, enough that I was able to pass despite spending all the time I should have been studying throughout highschool playing Diablo2, Warcraft3, Counterstrike and Runescape often for up to 11 hours a day, playing more then that at weekends.
I managed to pass my University entrance exams by the skin of my teeth, and I got into the course that I wanted to do 'Games Technology', in other words, Computer Games programming.
Despite this being what I wanted to, I started to play not just one but two MMOs, Guild Wars and the dreaded WoW, because I had heard good things about both. I found that I was unable to do my university work, because I HAD TO farm more ecto to get that Obsidian Armor for my Mesmer/Elementalist in Guild Wars and I NEEDED to be there for raids in WoW, because I was paying for that and I felt that if I stopped playing then I would have wasted my money.
And so we get to the situation I find myself in today, where instead of going to lectures I spent that time using the universities high internet speed to play games, and, as a consequence I have been told that I will not be able to apply for re-enrolment in the next academic year (I can apply the year after though). When I received the letter telling me that I was not going to be allowed back to university next year I sat down and racked my brains for a reason, believe it or not it took a while before I thought it was the games! It was at that point that I typed 'Video Game Addiction' into Google and eventually found my way here. I now intend to pry myself off games over the coming weeks, it's going to be tough but I know it's something I have to do, for the sake not only of my studies but also of my health and well-being.
I can only hope that others will not make the same mistakes I have, I try to warn my younger cousins off starting to play, I always have done, I guess all along I knew I was doing the wrong thing, but I still couldn't stop! I refuse to let these things ruin my life any further, it has gone too far now!
Oh, and when I do re-apply for University, I will be picking a different programming course, I still enjoy that buzz of writing a program and seeing it work, but I no longer wish to put myself in a job that will only serve to fuel my addiction.
Rather a long post I know, but I had to get it off my chest somehow, and this was the easiest way. I hope that reading it sends a wake up call to others who are heading down the same path, and that I really do have the willpower to give them up for good.

[MaxEntropy0]

Gratz

Gratz on the realization, I empathise cause I feel the same way. Its good to know that I'm not alone.

[bpatters7]

/played = ZOMGWTFBBW

/played = ZOMGWTFBBQ

Some pseudo mind hacks helped me quit. These literally took me years to develop and I've been on and off the band wagon as much as anyone. I was going to write them up, but was too embarrassed at admitting addiction. Anyway here they are:
1) redirect the lust for loot into a lust for loot in the real world. Greed is a powerful motivator.
2) Face the time warp reality you know well....realize the second you sit down to play it's already six or twelve hours later.
3) Try to envision "real" your life in five years continuing the current trend. It's easy to con yourself into thinking you'll give it up by then, but deep down you know you don't even want to.
4) Imagine the real world as the ultimate MMORPG. Things are harder sometimes, but the rewards are bigger. Take what you need to excced in WoW and apply it to real life.
5) Cold turkey quitting is the only way. There is no such thing as half time crooks. Seriously.....you cannot play a couple hours a day, you cannot quit when you want to. You are a slave Neo.
6) Realize that my Glider bot can accomplish practically everything you can. Your entire existence basically to live out a few lines of code. You have become a bot which can be purchased for $25. Sure they can't raid very effectively yet, but they will soon.
7) If you have real dreams let them motivate you. Consider the /played time applied to that software product you want to write or company you want to start....or working on your six pack. You'd probably be a Dot Com billionaire and still can be or at least have REAL fun trying.
8) Understand the addiction cycle.....RAID -> PL -> adrenaline rush -> let down -> more RAID -> adrenaline rush ...... it's a magic formula for addiction. Just like gambling.
9) Think hard about right now what you would give to have all that time back that you played the game. You could have weeks, months or years of your life back. Now realize you are having a conversation with your future self and the choice is now.

[aronsta]

Former WoW Addict with a story to tell

Addiction has taken on a new form called video games. I tell you this because until a month ago, I was addicted to World of Warcraft, or as my Girlfriend calls it?.?The Game?. I?ll start off by telling you a bit about myself. I am a 28 year old Mechanical Engineer from Southern California. I have a full time job, long term girlfriend, and I know now that video game addiction is not just a ?Kids thing?. I have logged (or lost) about 40 days on the game and I had two level 60 characters, one character fully equipped with epic items.

If you decide to take the side that video games are not addictive, then I ask you to take a minute to step out of your gaming world and take a look at your real life. How much time have you invested into this game and what have you achieved because of it? I asked myself this questions after a long day of playing the game and feeling ecstatic over a new epic item that dropped and I was awarded. At first I felt proud of myself knowing that all the time that I had invested in the game was finally resulting in advancement of my character. Then I soon realized that I had just wasted an entire weekend for this false sense of accomplishment, because what did that really get me? ?about .1% more competitive over other players. Then I thought about all the other weekends I would need to invest in order to complete my character. But the worst part of the game is that your character is never ?complete?. There is always a better item that can be equipped that will improve your competitive edge only slightly. There are literally thousands of items in the game, and some that require weeks of invested time to only get a chance to get that item.

I would research all the advancements I could give my character while I was at work. I was constantly thinking about what I should do next, what quest would offer the greatest reward, or what dungeon bosses would drop the next best loot. These thoughts would occupy my mind throughout the day until I walked through the door when I got home and logged on to continue the advancement of my character in order to stay competitive, dominant, respected, and desired as a teammate.

If you claim that you are able to walk away from the game at any time, then why don?t you? Don?t even tell me that you made friends through your ?guild? or that you don?t want to let your guild down. You will be amazed at how easy and fast it is for a guild or teammate to forget you ever existed. Remember back to a time when an exceptional player left your guild. It may only have been a month ago and that player has been long replaced by another perhaps more competitive player. This comradery that you think you are experiencing is short lived at best. After all, these teammates are only using you to advance their own character.

Look at what it has done to your health. Take a picture of your ?wow station? and think to yourself ?this is where I spend most of my free time??as if you were incapable of leaving a chair.

Parents have a new challenge in this age of technology. It begins with explaining to their children that video games are another form of addiction, but with moderation, can be quite enjoyable. The next thing you must do as a parent is regulate the amount of time that is allowed to be played. Regulating the amount of hours and even days would be the deal I would make with the child in order to play the game. And yes this can be done through most games, internet service providers, or with secondary programs.

The most liberating thing in the world is to destroy (or de as the nerds call it) everything your character has equipped. I searched youtube for video?s of people doing this and it is quite inspiring to get you motivated to do so. The first item is tough, but once you get the ball rolling I can not even put it into words how good it feels. Then delete your character, cancel your account, microwave your discs, burn the manual?.and take a breath of your new found freedom.

[Jack O Jill]

:/

They changed the honor system =O We can kill civillians now without getting DKS. Aaaaand the debuff counter got moved up to 40, how kickass is that? Shadow priests suck now and warlocks are super overpowered, I mean DEATHCOIL AND SPELLSTONES ***??!? Hunters are imba again. TBC is coming out on the 16th =OOO Blood elf paladins FTW! I'm 18, in college, have friends, a girlfriend, great grades and a warlock in full NEMESIS =O I'm not on warcraft now because my server is down and I am sad :( Coughgivewarlocksgreenfirecough

[MaxEntropy0]

/signed

40 hours of play time on one 60. I love your story and gratz with dealing with your addiction.

[troubadore]

congratulations

You have shown guts and stamina to free yourself form a debilitating addiction, a feat that only a minority of people in your situation can do without serious outside counceling. Carry this with you as you grow older - as a symbol of what you can accomplish.

At the same time, I am cautious about the damnation of World of Warcraft (or other games) wholesale. I play WoW a lot and as part of my New Years resolution (and after reading your article...), I cut back significantly. Its pretty easy to do once you fill the vacuum with something else (the wife and I go to the gym) but I just sat through 1 1/2 hours of E! on TV. I never watch TV and therefore I struck by the mindless stupidity and braindead stories, characters and scope. No creativity involved, no communication, no "puzzle-solving" and the cable bill is >$30 instead of $15 for WoW. AS I now contemplate, I forgot completely what I just saw which is the definition of wasted time.

Your situation is different but for me (and I assume the very vast majority of WoW players), I chose WoW anytime over TV.

[troubadore]

and now for something constructive

I have reviewed pretty much all posts in this forum and they seem to fall into a few classes.

a) "I am addicted", comes in 2 versions, "I am Still Addicted" and "I WAS addicted".
b) "My spouse / boyfriend (never girlfriend?) is addicted and it is ruining our relationship"
c) "my kid is addicted and what shall I do?"
d) "games are not to blame, the gamers are"

Did I miss anything?

Well, what I am missing is the actual help here for those who are addicted and therefore looking for advice on this forum. Too few posts (including mine) take the gaming addiction for what it is: an "Addiction" and apply those tools that have been tried and tested for drug abuse, gambling, smoking etc to gaming. Just because games are new doesnt mean that the cures have to be re-invented for it.

So here is my challenge - someone please posts tools that "widows", parents and afflicted ones can use, a list of websites, blogs, helplines, names of doctors, I dont care as long as it helped someone.

To those fellows who cut themselves from the game: my hat off and maybe you can find a way to make yourself available (anonymously of course) to those who struggle?

[blindside666]

You want a Tool?

I'm not any sort of expert on addiction, but I AM a hardcore gamer. I've been playing since I was about eight years old(i'm 23 now). As a child, my mother would often get onto me about how much I played, much like some of you are suggesting to parents here. Because of my staunch refusal to stop without good reason, she made a deal with me. She said if I could rationalize every kind of game I played, she would leave me be. Any kind that I could not, got regulated on her terms. (looking back, I think she was trying to prove a point.) She was quite suprised when I explained that as a whole, video games (PC or Console) do quite a bit for problem solving and reading comprehension just to name two. Which brings me to my suggestion of a "tool" for children anyway. If your child is playing an MMORPG (WoW, Runescape, etc.) have him or her write you a story about what they're doing. Make their participation in the next raid, to make sure that it happens. You'll be pleasantly suprised, I'd bet, at the improvements in their vocabulary. For those of you with RTS (Real Time Strategy: Age of Empires, Command and Conquer) 'addicts', if they don't already know how, teach them to play chess and challenge them to a few rounds. After you lose a game or twenty, see if you can say they aren't learning anything. And that's saying nothing about the historically accurate games. I never seen so many ten year olds actually interested in World War Two since Call of Duty and Medal of Honor were released. Be creative, find out what they play and come up with a challenge for it! Kids can be remarkably resourceful if their fun is threatened. I could go on, but instead I'll leave it to the parents who want to keep their kids from the mental stimulation they've chosen to prove they still have the imagination to use this Tool. And as for the adults, you've probably heard this before, but give playing with your spouse/boyfriend a shot. You might actually have fun levelling up together. Just regulate how long you will play and they'll likely follow suit, as the game won't be as much fun without you. Just a thought. Sorry this was so long.

[hater of WOW]

It's ruining my life and I am not even a gamer

I am 25 years old, have been married for 5 years. My husband became addicted to WOW in April of 2005. He is 10 years older than I, it just makes me cringe thinking of a 35 year old man playing video games day and night.
WOW is destroying everything. I want to leave the relationship so badly but my marriage commitment "till death do us part" is what's holding me back.
We have nothing in common anymore. He would wrather sit in front of the computer every waking moment than do anything else. I am solo to nearly everything! This ends up being embarrasing for me. People will ask where is _____. And I have to respond with "home on the computer"
I am in bed alone every night,he will finally come in around 3 am. I am not really sure how he keeps his job.
Another troubling area is the actual $ - dollars he sinks into this game. So disgusting that real money is paid for fake things. We have a local bank that isn't used much. We only have it to cash checks and make change. I didn't realize that he was sinking money into the account until I opened the statement one day and found it $500.00 overdrawn! I am not sure what prompted me to open the letter that day.
I am so disgusted at what my life has become. I want a life "partner" but I am stuck with a bum. This whole gaming experience has left me very depressed. I have been to a few DR's but I don't feel they understand the severity of the gaming addiction and what it does to the other members in the house.
And now in his off time he has discovered "my space", something I haven't even touched. I am so hurt, this man would wrather do ANYTHING other than be around his wife.
An article that landed in our paper a couple days ago on Dear Annie was about WOW, her response to the situation was "the addicted must want to quit" and though I do agree I thought it was a cheap way out. As I read in another comment we need help! Somewhere to go, something to say. If anyone has any constructive information please help. I am living a hell on earth and can't wait until it is all over.
Sincerely,
hater of WOW

[wow widow:(]

I feel your pain

Hater of WOW - I feel your pain, hun. Reading your description is like reading my own. I hate when people continuously ask me what my hubby is doing and it?s the same repetitive answer. I just realized what an epidemic this has become. My friend always calls me the WOW widow and I figured there were others out there with the same situation, but I had no idea that is was this massive. I just found out last week when I was talking to a co-worker who?s playing and he?s the one that said that this game is having major effects on relationships. I just goggled it and had no idea it was this massive!

When I found out hubby was buying fake gold, I was floored! I never knew he would succumb to such a thing! I have also become his phone secretary because he doesn?t answer his phone anymore. We both have been big gamers and have addictive personalities, but I have never seen him this addictive to a game since I?ve know him (going on 11 years). We always put the controller down to go out and do things; now we?re losing our friends and if I go out with them - I?m solo. People say ?why do you put up with it?? or ?how do you put up with it?? Well, like you, ?till death do us part? and we?ve only been married for a 1.5 years. The answer is that I don?t know how to deal with it. I?ve tried not to be the ?griping type? (for lack of a better term) and I haven?t been. I don?t ask him to do crap and I?m realizing that I need to communicate more no matter what because I am so miserable. I have and it?s better, but when is it enough?

Your story is so similar because he too has recently discovered my space to ?connect faces with names from wow? which is fine I guess, but it did weird me out a bit. Why does feel he needs to talk to people on my space when he can already communicate through wow? I guess I?m afraid that it will be another avenue to neglect those surrounding him.

And like you, I am so disgusted with my life right now. I also go to bed solo and he?ll go to bed early in the morning and then get up for work at 4:15 am. I?m still in my 20's, no kids - we should be having the time of our lives and yet we live sheltered.

Like many have said - it?s really not the game, it?s just the addictiveness of it that is gripping people?s lives. I don?t want to become a ****** wife and I don?t want to give ultimatums. I?ve read others trying several constructive methods (scheduling, contracts, different approaches), some have worked and others haven?t and I feel silly playing a mother-role by signing contracts. So, what else is there?

I never thought he would become so involved to alienate me and our friends. Crazy isn?t it?

[julame]

In the same boat

Your post really resonated with me. My husband spends 5 hours
or more a night playing, says he only needs 4 hours sleep (has a
full-time job). I have just negotiated one night a week for us (not
Saturday he says cause that's the best time for his mate to be
online), no gaming that night I thought, but when whatever we
planned to do is finished he's back on again. I feel relieved to
have this time-out together, but enraged to have had to fight for
it, for it to be a compromise to him to spend time with his wife.

Tonight nhe fell asleep settling our 2 year old and this time I
refuse to wake him just so he can play again.

He is very present in his role as a parent (now I think of it
weekends are not so good) he nearly always only plays when
they are asleep. But their bedtime will get later as they grow up.
I feel very alone and unwanted. I try to see how I might be
contributing, what he's missing in the relationship, but he never
says when I probe and I can't solve it that way. And I am afraid
that our boys will also feel this neglect, and possibly follow suit
to the detrement of their emotional development and capacity
for natural enjoyment of people and life - children learn from
our modelling, and ours is the relationship they are exposed to.

So if you get any tips on healing the situayion please pass them
on!!

Ame

[darksoul1oo]

WoW and the expansion

/train woot woot achug achug woot woot the long waited world of warcraft expansion is all most here 4 more days and new places to go and lvls to gain and races to play so sharpen those swords and axes and polish that armor and get ready for the battle of your life because the Burning Crusade is back from the other side of the dark portal to kill all life

[lonely7182]

city of villians victim

I wish I would've come across this website sooner. I've been holding my feelings back of hatred for the game city of villians due to the amount of time my boyfriend of four years has submerged majority of his time to. Finally after almost two years of feeling guilty for asking him to cut back on his computer time, I realize now that this IS a problem....I have every right to feel hurt and neglected and I don't have to put up with it anymore. Last night marked a crossroads in our relationship--we had a huge fight and I told him if he doesn't cut back on the late night strike forces or base raids or whatever they're called....that it would be over between us. For a couple who loves eachother as much as we do, I never thought something as simple as a game that he "enjoys" playing would threaten the very precious union that we've shared and make me doubt the future that I want to have so badly with him. The mistake I made was holding back my feelings of hurt because I wanted so much for him to be happy--but when playing the game for hours upon hours on end makes him more happy than being with me or doing anything else for that matter, it was time to speak up. To anybody out there, men or women, even children....who are hurt by a loved one's computer addiction, please don't be afraid to let your voice be heard. As a result of our fight, he deleted him game account and everything else related to the game. I am afraid that he will resent me and blame me for making him give up something he enjoys. If he does go back to playing games online, I just hope that he doesn't play as much as he was, and prove to me that I am still #1 in his life.

[MaxEntropy0]

Technology Addciton: A Serious Problem

I'm a 20 yr old sophmore who has been down the road of technology addiction and has some advice for anyone else suffering from it. Basically my story is that internet, video games, what have you consumed my life to the point at which I stopped wanting to do anything. Work, school, etc. I almost got kicked out of high school due to grades. Now, not to sound full of myself or anything but I am a brilliant individual. This is not just me talking, I hear this over and over agian from my friends. I'm pretty much a 4.0 student who was almost failing out of high school. I finally got my act together about my junior year of high school. When, at least for a time, I put my gaming days behind me. What I basically did was start taking classes that were really hard and very challanging such that it stimulated me academically and was therefore interesting and kept me very busy. Having come to college, I still feel my addiction, but now I acknowlege that I have a problem and that I don't want to go back to my gaming days. I feel as if technology has stolen years away from my life that I could have been doing so much more. I really don't have any profound memories between the ages of 14 and 17 and now I college I feel like I'm trying to regain all the years I've lost. Most of my memories consist of sitting in front of a screen. WoW is something all of its own. It has moved from just a game to a huge networking tool. Now not only is someone recieving "entertainment" from the game, they are also recieving social stimulation which makes it that more addicting. I guess one could call it "the perfect video game."

What I have to say to those who are falling into the same trap that I did is DONT. DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES I MADE, YOU WILL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. As for advice, the first step to recovery is agknowleding that you have a probelm. Realize if you are addicted to games and how it is affecting your life. If you are, GET OUT. Find somthing active that you love to do and do it as much as you can, whether it be singing, theater, working out, playing a sport, maybe even learning a language. Keep yourself busy. Idle hands are the worst for fighting addiction espectially because video games are somthing you play when you are bored. Make some dreams for yourself, hang out with friends, whatever.

For me, after nearly faling out of high school. I am now mentally and academically on a track to head off to medical school in three years. I am amazing even myself because for the first time in my life I am realizing my own self worth past how fast I can get epiced out in WoW or how many noobs I can pwn in AB. Having been down the road of technology addicition, I am so happy to finally be trying to help myself out of it. I hope that my story will inspire those dealing with similar additions to fight for their own lives and finally start combating this new 21st century social problem.

[MaxEntropy0]

Step 1: Uninstall WoW

A good place to start. If you are going to have trouble staying away from the game, make it hard as hell to play.

[Cecil475]

There is a lot of hate in this room.....

I am Cecil.
I have been playing videogames for about 20 years. About five or six of them I learned about the backlash of criticism against the games, the industry that makes them, and the people who play them. In twenty years I have played many types of games. I have even played World of Warcraft. I didn't really get into it. The characters I had were between Levels 1 and 10. This means (for those who don't know) I didn't play it much. I liked my offline games much better.

It IS my belief that the people who DO get addicted to videogames or otherwise DO have a problem. Being addicited to videogames is not like being addicted to drugs. I have heard of people compare videogames to both drugs and to porn.
Videogames are NOT the problem. If some one if addicted to the virtual world of a videogame then there is something going wrong with that person in the real world. And that would be the real issue to look into.

There's a lot of hate and misinformation in this room.

I have read about a lot of critism against videogames. It is at the point that it has been the most singled out form of entertainment as a scapegoat. Not many go after movies, books or television much anymore. They are jumping on the blame videogames bandwagon.

It's sad that so many are not willing to accept personal responsibility and find something else to blame. Otherwise the marrages of those complaining would not be failing (especally if the person complaining took a more active role in the relationship instead of complaining that the spouse was spending over $500) And for those who think that 30 some year-olds who play videogames seem stupid and immature, It is within the age group of most gamers today.

Yep, All you need is a little more personal responsibility and more involvement in your loved ones lives. After all Blizzard (or any other videogame company) is not putting a gun to anyones head and telling them to play their game or else. Which is what the lot of you sound like.

- Cecil

[brooksidebusta]

speaking of hate and ignorance.

What is wrong with you? You might have wasted 20 years of your life on video games but you clearly know absolutely zero about addictions. Sure there are other personal issues that contribute to the addiction to anything, but not calling it a real addiction is like spitting in the face of people who lose their families, houses, jobs, friends, etc. Would you tell a heroin addict to just get a little more personal responsibility, cause believe it or not, the same supply and demand process is happening in the brain.

Just because you insist on defending video games, which in and of itself is a little strange, it doesn't mean they are harmless. Any clear thinking person would recognize that someone susceptible to mental issues who spends hours shooting at people or running over cops could pose a threat to themselves or others. Most people aren't, but some are. If you want to defend your lack of social skills, go ahead, but don't belittle the very real problems that other people have in their lives. It's not your place to tell them what they do or do not have.

Unless you have a degree in psychology. In which case, disregard this.

[damo158]

haha omg.

i love wow, cant wait for BC but yeah i find playing all my sports and playing music helps keep wow playing in moderation. im 17 and finished skool FOREVER and yeah wow is jus good for filling in the spare time and a way to socialise with mates i wood hardly see...

if uve had enough of someone losing there life playing this, get them to play sports or just go out, try to help them forget about wow.