Comments on: When games stop being fun

Long a subject of half-serious jokes among devotees of computer and video games, game addiction is receiving serious attention lately as fantasy games such as "EverQuest" proliferate.

[BaileyZumaltRose]

Advice from an ex-addict

I'm 20, in college, and have always had an easy tiem with class and friends, etc. Every now and then my friends and I get into a new game -- HALO, Diablo II, Anarchy Online, HALO 2, World of Warcraft -- these games, playable online, give us an opportunity to engage in something we (especially at this age) enjoy doing together with a global community.

However, the spread of MMORPG's (massively-multioplayer online role playing games) is introducing a new factor into our gaming habits -- where before in a game like Diablo or HALO where there was SOME time element involved, but mainly more skill and reflex, games like World of Warcraft are EXTREMELY time-intensive. Your progress in the game is not determined by how well you learn, or how your skills improve, but by how much time you are willing/able to commit to the game.

I played World of Warcraft for three or four months, and in that time I lost so much of my physical fitness, dedication to school, musical prowess, and social life, that looking back on it now it makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed to have so willingly signed so much of my life off to something so hollow as a video game.

World of Warcraft is NOT a game you can 'get your fill' of. It's a game in which the more you play, and the more advanced you get, the MORE time you must spend repeatedly searching for better and rarer items, repeatedly engaging in the online player-vs-player battlegrounds, etc. in order to simply maintain your status, let alone improve it.

My advice to you is this -- you've got to find a way to make him realize that he's better off in another game because EVENTUALLY he's going to see that all the time he spent in World of Warcraft was a waste, OR just find a way to gain access to his account.

Get on his account, learn enough about the game to be able to manage his character and items, and DELETE THEM. It's a terribly nightmarish feeling to discover your months of play are wasted when a character is deleted or lost, but it's probably a necessary evil for your son. Unless he loses the object of his obsession (the character or characters he's been working on for so long), he'll continue to be drawn to play more and more.

It sounds like a drastic measure, but this game really is more powerful than alcohol, or sex, or sports, or whatever. It consumes your every waking moment, literally. You go through class only to be able to play later with a clear conscience, and all during your school and social time, you find yourself continually returning in your mind to thoughts of the game.

Do your son a favor and find a way to get on his account and delete his character. It's probably the only real way to help him shake the addiction.

[hankdad]

Watch out

Your parents have made observations about your life and your grades. They are doing this because they love you and care about you, not because they don't want you enjoy what you are doing. It sounds like all you do is Warcraft with the exception of going to school and it sounds like lately, warcraft has become more important to you than school. The only reason that your grades could fall would be from not studying and or doing homework. I imagine that if you spent two hours a day on schoolwork your grades would improve. It sounds to me like you are addicted to the game. School will provide real opportunity in your life, whereas warcraft will take you nowhere. You also have no social life by playing warcraft, the chat window is not social life. Join a sport or a club, volunteer, meet people, have relationships, you'll feel good, you'll benefit society and yourself. Do something real with your life! Get off the game.

[Pipisongo]

Video Gaming Addiction: Thoughts and Experiences of a Self-Proclaimed Video

Let me start by saying that I hear all of you people who think the concept of video game addiction is ridiculous. To people who are genuinely casual gamers, nothing on this subject would make sense. I would not know what percentage of people who play games are casual gamers, but I suspect it is the vast majority. I envy all of you. Most of my friends in real life are just that. They play a game for one week at most, then move on with all the other great experiences and responsibilities life offers and demands. Then 6 months will go by until they pick-up another game, play for a week and get tired of it. I, however, am always reading to catch-up on the newest games, always looking for that new ?perfect? game that will be released in a couple of months, the one that will be the greatest gaming experience ever. I trick myself into thinking that after that last great game, I can happily ?retire? from video gaming. And the years keep passing me by. If you are a casual gamer good for you, just do not dismiss us as merely people with poor self control. Agreed, all of us addicts have poor self control. But there are such things like addictive substances and experiences.

Game addiction is real, but it seems that it is still generally not taken seriously by the scientific community. Just like other addictions, video games seem to affect only part of the population that engages on them. Not everybody who drinks is an alcoholic, but a few of them are. My estimation is that video games are not perceived as an addiction because no chemical substances enter the body during a gaming session. Unlike tobacco, alcohol, and medicated or illegal drugs. But the public is slowly catching on, and countries like China and Korea that have begun to see the ill effects of gaming addiction have begun to legislate on playtime. Sadly, it will take a couple more tragic incidents like the handful of exhaustion and parental neglect deaths in Asia to get local governments of other countries to act as well. For all of you non-believers of gaming addiction, it would be best for you to compare gaming addiction to gambling addiction. The experience itself is the source of the addiction, no external chemicals are required. Another example of an addictive experience is sex, though I know many of you will not agree with me on this. People also get addicted to stealing, and adrenaline-pumping activities for example. I?m confident that if you do a little research you can validate these claims. Still, I feel the best parallel that can be drawn with video gaming addiction is compulsive gambling. So you non-believers can replace the phrase ?gaming addiction? with ?compulsive gambling? and read on. Who knows? You just might learn something.

I am a 28 year old engineer. I?m an addict if there ever was one. However I?m somewhat happy to report that gaming has not destroyed my life, it has only made it less social, more empty, and made me a less caring person. For example I do not visit my grandfather who lives next door, who will likely depart this earth on the next couple of years, and yet I have the time to spend 3 hours a day gaming. This is a very rough estimate, my gaming time varies a lot, when I get a great new game I can spend as long as 5 or 6 hours a day for a couple of days. Now in my case I have never sacrificed my essential responsibilities like school and work, but I have always sacrificed quality time with friends and family for staring into an illusion on the TV or PC monitor. I just get the basic responsibilities done, but nobody but my girlfriend can ever get any quality time with me.

I have been struggling with this addiction since I was a kid. I began with the Atari 2600 (around 1982). I remember how once when I was about 8 years old my mother had talked me into joining a basketball team. I was somewhat interested so I agreed. However when the day came for my first day of practice I was involved playing on my Atari and did not want to go to practice. My mother got mad, and proceeded to unplug my TV. I will be grateful all my life for that. After forcefully trying basketball I fell in love with it and I had many years of satisfying experiences a basketball player. I got to play at college level. I commend also my father who after seeing me waste so much time on the Atari forbade having a Nintendo (around 1986) in our home. He never allowed any video games in our home. But sadly the addiction had kicked in already and so I would stay all day in my friends? house playing on their Nintendos. My dad told me from an early age that I was addicted to video games, and he has told me all his life. It was only about 3 years ago that I finally acknowledged that he was right.

I have stopped playing cold turkey a couple of times, selling my consoles, my PC and everything. And it is during those periods of my life that I?ve had the most rewarding experiences with friends, flesh and bone friends, not digital ones. I remember during that time I avoided Electronics Boutique (a video game store) like the plague. And for any researcher out there interested in this topic let me explain how is it that I gradually get pulled in again to my gaming addiction. Through gaming websites and magazines. I start thinking: ?Well ok, reading information on games is not actually gaming?? And it isn?t, but I will inevitably read about this new game with the best graphics, or the best artificial intelligence etc, etc. And eventually I end up buying it and wasting many more months before arriving once more at the inevitable conclusion that I have wasted way to many ours on this stupid hobby and I have nothing to show for it! So parents, and people who are trying to break free of gaming, I advise that you not only through away you consoles, but also do not get into stores, and websites that are game related.

My story does not have a happy ending, but then it also is not as sad as many other stories of addicts. Let me also add that I have barely played Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. I have too much respect for gaming addiction and know that if I start I may get hooked to the point where this story would indeed be tragic. All that I have gone through is with just typical video games. From what I?ve read MMORPG?s are that much worse so I avoid them like I would a glass crack pipe. I am currently hooked on an Xbox 360, though I?m past the initial intensive gaming part of the cycle for now. I am getting married in 6 months and I know my fiancée is not a big fan of video games. I also have my priorities straight in that I have not allowed video games to take away quality time from her as it had from my other girlfriends and family. I don?t know how it will work with me and her and my Xbox under one roof, but I?ll smash the damn thing to pieces if my addiction gets out of control (like it did when Halo 2 came out, and now again when the 360 came out) and interferes with my married life.

So why do I claim to be addicted if video gaming has not had the more serious consequences in my life that it has had in other people?s life. Well because when I have one of those gaming fevers, I get home and start gaming before I change from my work clothes. I turn on the PC or console before I got to the bathroom, so that when I comeback it is booted up. I walk very fast, almost run, to the video game store when I read about a great game and decide to buy it. I open the game box and start reading the game manual while driving back home from the video game store (not a very safe thing to do, read and drive at the same time). I don?t stop and converse with my family members in the living room as I walk quickly past them to get to my room and my beloved video games. I think about the games frequently while I?m spending time with my girlfriend or at family events. I will decline many an invitation to do other stuff without giving it any real thought, just so I can play. Whenever I find myself with spare time available I go to my room and play video games, it?s a compulsion. I don?t even allow myself the time to think what other fun stuff I could do instead of playing video games. It turns out that when I do make the rare decision to try something new, almost always I get more satisfaction out of it than isolating myself in a video game. But alas, even though I?ve had much greater fulfilling experiences outside of video gaming I always come back to it. It?s like the tobacco addict that does not now how to stand still, without a cigarette in his hand while socializing. And the people who always drink when they hangout, and cannot get accustomed to not feeling a beer in their hands while partying. I somehow just can?t get myself to socialize without thinking, ?damn I could be playing Halo right now?. Then after wasting way too much time on Halo I think: ?Damn, I could have watched a movie with my girlfriend, or mowed the lawn, etc.? And so I keep falling into the same trap over and over and over. Again, the best way to describe it is that I play video games compulsively. I don?t stop and think what other options I have available before I start to play. I just play for no reason, just as obese people eat for the sake of eating, not because they are hungry. And I get especially irritated when someone interrupts me while playing Halo 2 online or during a cutscene of any game because I can?t just hit ?pause? during those times. I?ve also wasted countless hours looking for news on the release of a new game (Halo 2) or a new console (Xbox 360) on the internet. Checking 3 websites about 5 times daily to read news on video games as they come out. That, my friends, is video game addiction. In fact I waste just as much time reading about video games as I do playing them. Luckily I have made some small progress and hopefully one day I?ll be rid of this. I guess when I become a husband and father my priorities will change and I will not waste as much time in video games. I better.

To those gamers who have come forward and acknowledge your addiction I congratulate you. Keep fighting and don?t give up! I?ve been fighting for many years, with ups and downs, and I will continue to fight. I can?t say I?ve won the battle, but I have managed to keep myself grounded in the real world, which is more than many video gamers can say of themselves. Those gaming addicts who claim that gaming is not addictive are just using that argument to try and not feel as bad as they do. ?How can I be addicted something that is not addictive??, they justify to themselves. ?Playing video games is like watching movies, listening to music, or playing board games, it is harmless.? To them I say: You can fool anybody but yourself. You can argue all you want and still that feeling of emptiness and guilt will be there after you finish that long gaming session and realize you just missed that night out with some friends, or failed to study as you should have for that test. I?m sorry you have to go through that guilt and remorse again, and again, and again. Just because you claim you can stop playing whenever you want.

[Djorn]

This may be hard for you parents to take

But some of you are being very immature. Saying that you should not let your child near this game is ridicolous.

It has many plus points, philosiphically and intellectually and even historically if you look deep enough.

Im sorry for insulting you. Yes, this game *can* be addditcing. Im not denying that.

If you don't know whether or not you should let them play this game, you don't know them well enough. As a son myself, get to know them, by forgetting your a parent. Talk to them as if an acquataince, you dont have to like everything about them, as hard as that sounds. Its hard to put your hurt aside, this is so hard to explain. Its like.. when somebody is so eager to talk to you, its human instinct to reject them.

[matthew206]

VGA

Are there support groups for people like you and me? I have tried many times in vain to stop this habit, but time and again I find that I do not know what else to do with myself. It makes me sick to my stomach. Is there help out there? A video games anonymous or something?

- Matt

[206538395198018178908092208948]

If you're really sick

Determine what you hate about the game. Recognize the damage it's done to you, and what it continues to do to you. Form an understanding that you can't have it both ways, and that you have to pick between the game, and the things that the game takes away from you. I hope you don't pick the game. And towards that goal:
Tell your friends and trusted ones how you feel about it and ask them for help in keeping you away from it. Then get rid of the game by any means possible. Toss it, burn it, sell it, etc. DON'T just shelve it and try to forget about it. Get as far away from it as possible. Then do something else to fill the time. Read. Play basketball. Learn to dance. Whatever. Stay true to the people you've talked to, and don't hide anything. Then you'll make progress.
-Jason

[noige]

Parents and their Flame bait bullshit

Every armchair lawyer is going to talk about suing "company X" for creating an addictive online game.

I play EQ2, have played (addictively EQ1, and Lineage2) I also probably play eq2 addictively. Addiction is a relative term. The fact that I play anywhere from 1 - 6 hours a day, unless I am bored ******** with the game and decide to go try and bang some chicks, could be considered addictive.

I am a drug addict though, I have shot speed, snorted cocaine, shot heroin taken pills, and done probably every drug under the sun. I was homeless, jobless, unemployable and a complete ******* worthless ******* criminal.

Drug and video game addiction are the same.

My mother tried to control my drug addiction, you know what I did? I went even crazier. Her trying to control my drug use (rather than sending my ass to jail or kicking me out of the house) resulted in me participating in even more illegal activities to gain periods of time when I could use.

They will do the same thing with video games.

Addiction is addiction is addiction is addiction.

Get it through your ******* heads. Heroin addiction is the exact same thing as WoW, EQ2, EQ1, Weed, Alcohol, Cocaine, Sex, Food, Love addiction.

Parents with stupid ass pride are what is killing kids. They don't want to address the problem as it should be. IT IS JUST AS SERIOUS AS DRUG ADDICTION.

Like I said before. Addiction is addiction. No matter the vehicle for the escape. I play the **** out of EQ2. I go out with my friends still, hung out with them on christmas, will hang out with them on New Years and we all go out to dinner every week (or there about). Going out with your friends still, or being willing to go downtown and try and **** some girls/guys (whatever your preference is) doesn't mean that you aren't addicted. Being social still doesn't mean you are not addicted. Addiction is about getting that first, and most awesome high back. I played EQ1, got cracked out on it and now I play damn near every MMO on the market, except I just cancelled my Lineage 2 account to play CoH CoV and EQ2.

Addiction is this:

Being obsessed with the procurement, ingestion and
resupplying of the substance, video game, vagina, food, candy, etc for the next use.


FACTS for the people who think this **** has some miracle tonic, snake oil-assed cure.

1: Addiction has very little to do with the substance used. Whether it is a piece of software, or a $20 paper of heroin. The symptoms are the same.

2: There is no "control". No amount of will power takes you away from addiction. What makes the disease go into remission is the addressing to the
triggers for the symptoms i.e. boredom, sadness etc

3: THERE IS NO ******* CURE IDIOTS! Taking away the game machine will NOT cure your child. Nothing will, that is not a statement of hopelessness though. What will help your child is limiting their use, take them out. When is the last time you engaged your child with something fun as hell?
Let me say it again. THERE IS NO ******* CURE! If I go out and shoot speed today, my life is ******, period. I have been clean for 5 years and I STILL THINK ABOUT GETTING HIGH! Just like a WoW player thinks about playing WoW. SAME ******* THING.

You can take the game away now, but watch, he/she will hit college, and "check out" the newest mmorpg. You can bet your ass they are going to play that ****. Even though Mommy/Daddy chose to pull the plug when they were a teen.

What also helps is making those ******* get jobs.
It helped me.

If you are offended by the language I don't give a ****. I see a lot of parents speculating and giving their armchair-assed psycho babble ******* two-cents worth, but not actually saying anything of redeeming value because rather than addressing the issue for what it is ******* DRUG ADDICTION they want to hold on to that stupid ass ******* pride that will do more harm than good.

Maybe you think this is extreme, I have been on both sides. Like I said, I am a drug addict, I am also a ******* video game addict to the nth degree. I think about video games at work haha. The symptoms are the same. The disease is the same.

It is your responsibility to treat them as addicts. They need help. Don't just pull the plug and let them be idle. Get off your lazy ******* ass and take them somewhere stimulating, get them interested in 16th century painters, 1920's authors. Addicts need lots of stimulation, they are smart people. Being bored as an addict is the most horrid state you can be in.

Stop blabbering this class action lawsuit ****. You don't deserve money for a problem that you are contributing to. Game companies make addictive games to make money you dolts. Not because they have some ******* vendetta against the children/teens/adults of the world. What you need to do it introduce them to stuff that is interesting.

If any of this pisses you off, well eat **** because it probably applies to you.

What works for me (I still play EQ2 and CoH and CoV).

1: I work my ass off at work (I am a 25 year old male). Work gets my mind in to something fascinating. I am a database engineer by trade.

2: Knowing when to say "Jarrod stop worshipping the computer crack pipe and go try and get with some chicks". Typically this is every Friday and Saturday night haha.

3: Recognizing that I am a ******* dope (video game) fiend and I have no control over my disease. Seriously, this sounds like ******** but it is the absolute truth. Addressing the problem through admittance is the best way to approach it. This is not a cure however. I also don't give a damn if you can't accept that it is a disease. It is. Addiction is a disease period. Chronic, incurable and sometimes fatal.

Where the challenge lies with children is that some do not know what they feel passionately about. I do, I am older. I am very passionate about drug addicts and their civil rights as well as their constitutional rights. If the child/teen/adult has less awareness of their passions they need someone to introduce them to new things.

If they do know their passions, well, you have a true blue addict on your hands. Addicts are willing to give up ANYTHING to feed the monkey.
It is your responsibility to help them, and their responsibility to allow themselves to be helped.
If they don't want help, well, no help can be given.

Offensive? Crass? Kiss my ass. Help your ******* kids by loving them, and supporting them with this problem. Not by smashing their computer and grounding them. Introduce them to video game programming, maybe this will interest them. It did me.

Jarrod

[hankdad]

Truth be told

Right on the money!

[Fedorov]

So true. I wish all the parents that think that deleting the game will cure the addiction would think like you. The best thing a game can have is an ending then you will have to quit it.

[Lyoness]

GamerWidow.com

Hey all,

I'm the creator of GamerWidow.com (and also moderator at the WoW Widows Yahoo Group). I just wanted to say that I'm so glad that more awareness is being brought about with articles like this one and the discussion here.

Ever since creating the site I've met so many people with such different stories that it's plain to me that gaming addiction is not only destructive to a relationship but also can hit anyone in any demographic.

Thanks for those of you who visited the site and joined to take part in the discussions on my message board.

Great article btw!!! Please feel free to visit http://www.gamerwidow.com

=)

[Rose_2006]

YOUR WEBSITE IS BULL!

You can stop your crap about game addiction and act like your sincere about the situation when your out to make money for yourself! Have the nerves to sell things like "I Love My Gamer" T-shirts! This is an very serious issue, unfortunately, my ex is a game addict to the point where he lost his job, quite his senior year of college and became very physically abusive whenever I asked him to stop playing.

[Wknight]

Share the responsibility

As a recently emancipated WoW gamer (uninstalled and destroyed discs a few weeks ago) ? I have to say that those who claim these games cannot be addictive do not understand what addiction is. However? it is not right to blame the object of addiction for a person?s lack of ability to sensibly ?use? it ? but it?s only fair to discuss the problems 

I have been a casual gamer all of my life ? all the way back to the days of King?s Quest ? where one typed commands in a field and used the arrow keys to walk around a collection of pixels that somewhat resembled a person. In those days my imagination was captured by these worlds in which progress was fairly consistent and my mind could fill in any graphical problems. Still my parents where definitely subscribers to the ?all things in moderation? theory and as such I could never really obsess about much of anything for too long before draconian rules set in.

Fast forward many years and I ended up going to a UCD ? and then I got my first true tastes of vice. Between all the sex and the drugs I learned the signs of being trapped in ?negative? behavior ? and I must stress that what a person views as negative behavior is entirely up to them!! Still ? I viewed drinking a bunch, gaining weight, smoking various things (kicked that habit after a few years), and destructive sexual relationships with incompatible women as, on balance, bad for me. The road to recovery for me always involved truly taking stock of what I believed it was possible to moderate.

I discovered that any ?negative? habit-breaking hinges on recognition of things that for one reason or another you cannot engage in moderation. As an example I counted cigarettes in this category since truly moderate smoking (a few cigs (not packs) a week) was not pleasurable due to my lungs actively rejecting the abuse (whereas a regular smoker does not experience immediate discomfort from smoking).

At this point enter WoW? To those doubters of whether this is something that can be undertaken in moderation ? I point to the WoW forums. There is an ongoing debate between what are known as ?casual? players and ?hardcore? players. As a community it is generally accepted that the challenge in WoW is primarily related to how much time you can spend. The problem is that about 20% of the community can spend CRAZY amounts of time playing the game and thus create characters that are vastly more powerful in the endgame than a casual gamer can ever hope to achieve. This has actually completely ruined PvP as many will attest.

This means essentially that a competitive player who has an interest in making a burly avatar is in fact forced into ridiculous amounts of play. I would add to this that an online game like WoW is most likely deliberately skewed to relatively slow progress as a video game since the company makes money on a monthly basis for people playing it.

Again ? the point is that not only does this game reward the incessant player with the best loot, but it is also a game that is deliberately designed to take a person a LONG time to beat because of the monthly charges. This is in direct contrast to most games which I would think are merely as long as a gamer paying $50 would find acceptable (we?re talking maybe 10-20 hours).

So ? before I quit WoW I did have an idea of how long I played the game because of a mod I installed ? I played it for approximately *240 hours* over a 6 month period. And in that time I advanced a character to level 49, one to level 33 and a couple low level alts around 20. This means that I had not yet even reached the endgame and I had probably another 50 hours just to bring my main guy to 60? and then he would be a joke until I?d run a million instances to pick up loot from bosses in a raid guild that requires people to play in order to make a 40 man team.

So this is not an ?in moderation? game unless you?re happy sinking a good 300 hours into a actually quite crappy and non-competitive avatar?

Think about that?

[206538395198018178908092208948]

My personal take

Sooo. Just as a disclaimer, I've read many of the above comments, but not all of them. So if the things I have to say have already been said, my apologies. With that having been said, I concede to having been a WoW addict. I've played this game since closed beta, which basically means I have more or equal experience with it than anyone else, with the exception of the Blizzard employees of course. I have finally made the decision to sell the game, simply to get rid of it. Why? Because uninstallation, for one such as myself, isn't enough. Those of you who find this funny, go ahead and laugh. Those of you who think me weak, say whatever you want. I'm not typing this for you. READ: This isn't FOR you. This is for the people who understand what it's like to feel unable to do anything else with your free time except play WoW. People who wake up and have gotten used to playing WoW first thing in the morning, and the last thing before going to sleep. People who sacrifice relationships, careers, family, and everything and anything else that they cherish (and they truly do cherish), simply because they feel unable to peel themselves away from WoW. Yes, it is a lengthy description. But you know who you are, and if this describes you, then I hope that by now, you realize that it is not possible to continue living this way. You can spend hours upon hours getting to level 60 chars of all classes and both factions. You can equip them with all rare EQ, explore ALL the raid dungeons, get the highest pvp ranks, become a leader of the most prestigious guild, rack up tons of gold, get the 300 skill on all your professions. And in the end, it all means nothing. Actually, worse than nothing, since you've lost your life. You've lost what used to be important to you. Maybe you'll regret, and maybe you won't. Either way, it'll be gone, and what you traded it for in WoW both pales in comparison and will never last. A lot of people praise WoW because it's like a whole different world. Well, we're already in a world right now, and this is the one that truly makes a difference. Think about it. Find out what WoW has already taken from you (and I'm not talking about the $15 monthly subscription), and what it could mean in the future. Are you willing to throw it all away? Is that what you really want? If even the smallest part of you says no, then I implore you to make a stand. And don't make it alone. Call whoever you still know. Reach out for help, because this is certainly the time to do it. Do whatever it takes, and get your life back. And when you've taken the first step, do yourself a favor and distance yourself as far away from WoW as possible. If that means selling it, there's always ebay. If that means trashing it, toss it now and don't look back. Erase the IE links, delete the WoW files and UI progs, even delete your characters and THEN deactivate the account. Make no mistake though; if you are as addicted as I was (or worse), this will be harder than any 40-man raid you've ever run, or any super rare weapon you've tried to acquire. Quite possibly one of the hardest things you've ever done. So ask your friends to hold you accountable. Remember why you're doing it. Don't forget that your life and all the possibilities of your future are what you're fighting for.

On a different note, one that applies to everyone, I'd like to clear the field a bit, since there seems to me that there's a lot of arguing between 2 majority groups: Team 1 believes that games like WoW are addicting, which causes individuals to suffer, and thus bad, and so the games ought to be treated differently/more carefully/avoided altogether. Team 2 believes that games like WoW are addicting but fun, and that if anything occurs to an individual, it is solely the individual's responsibility and fault that he/she has succumbed to such extreme addiction. While I acknowledge the validity of both arguments, I feel that in the spirit of protecting cared ones from their weaknesses, something needs to be done for those who are unable to help themselves. Just because someone has less self-control doesn't mean we should just sit back and watch as they wreak havoc on their own lives. This isn't to say that WoW is a bad game. In fact, I think it's a gorgeous game. Wonderful playability, endless adventures, stunning graphics. One of the best games I've ever seen, and deservingly so. To those in the aforementioned team 2, congratulations; you are able to both enjoy the wonder of WoW and still manage your own lives successfully. But these posts and comments aren't for your benefit. They are the outcry of people who have been unable to do what you have done, and of the people who care about them. These are hopes that others who are in similar situations that read them will be able to use them to make their own necessary steps to walk away from WoW, which for them has consumed most if not all of their lives.

The game itself, or any game for that matter, is not evil. What makes it difficult (and also what everyone agrees upon) is that it IS highly addictive and should be treated as such: with much careful consideration by ALL parties involved.

[206538395198018178908092208948]

extra comment

Oh, and for those people who somehow believe that WoW is NOT addictive... Well. I'm not an alcoholic, I don't like the taste, and I never have. I drink socially, but could never possibly imagine myself getting addicted to it. Am I to believe then that alcohol is NOT addictive? Are groups like the AA which are SUPPOSED to help people overcome their alcohol addiction just a big hoax?

Just because you don't find WoW addictive doesn't mean it's not. Of all the people I know in real life who play WoW or used to play, (7) each and every one of them have admitted to be or have been ADDICTED TO THE GAME. And to add to that fact, NONE of them have any other addiction that would be considered common (like drugs, alcohol, or even coffee). The fortunate ones are the ones who recognized it early enough to quit without withdrawals.

So if you are one who continues to say "WoW isn't addictive", then you're pretty much ignoring the facts. Get it straight. It's an awesome game. It pulls you in, and doesn't let go. Blizzard did a terrific job, and deserves every cent. And yes, they made it with EXACTLY THE SAME THINKING THAT ALL GAMES ARE MADE: to be addictive. And if you don't believe that, then you might as well not read what anyone says, seeing as how you're already so set in your own opinions. (btw, this is coming from a former game company employee, so yes, I believe that I'm fully qualified to say that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to game design)

[resonant]

A Victims Victim

I'd like to forstall any arguments between video game addiction and bad parenting, personal flaws, whatever.
Video game addiction is very real. I have experienced it myself, though a few wake-up calls managed to give me the motivation I needed to back away.
My fiancee, who I lived with, is not so fortunate.
I picked up World of Warcraft less than ten months ago when I injured myself at work, and was staring at a few weeks of absolute boredom at home during recovery. Knowing the past semi-addiction of online social life that we both shared, I made the joking comment that, "This game will destroy us."
Oh, how I wish I had heeded my gut.
We both fell in love with it, immediately. We maxed our charectars' levels out and began the hunter for the best gear in the game. We fell quickly into the extraordinarily rich social aspect of the game (Did you know that between all the current zones, World of Warcraft has a player population roughly equal to switzerlands?) and reveled in the prospect of that next epic item drop.
During this time we began to drift apart from our real lives. We stopped talking to our families, we began skipping work. We stopped cooking, cleaning and essentially all normal human every-day functions.
Eventually, we both lost our jobs. We hardly noticed - the game had us so wrapped up in the fantasticaly dramatic lives of our charectars that we constantly buried the truth of the situation by escaping deeper into the game.
The initial joy of playing and interacting became a gauntlet of emotion as varied as real life. Fear, contentment, sadness and anger. Even love and passion...and betrayal.
I met a woman in that game that I became extremely close to. My fiancee had drawn a popular social crowd around her, and even our in-game lives began to seperate. I spent most of my time with this woman, and there were moments where we wondered if we where in love. I beleived my fiancee was in a similar position with a male friend of hers.
One day I became very angry with my guild (an official group of like-minded players) during a boss encounter. It wasn't the first time, as personal disagreements between players become as real as with a coworker. I raged, I ranted. I broke my headset and microphone and turned my computer off and turned around...and woke up.
The world around me looked different, older and somehow unused. I felt like I hadn't seen it in forever...you know that feeling when you come home from vacation, and everything is very normal and familiar but it's somehow lost that every-day quality? It was like that.
I quit playing that day. I left my guild and hardly looked back. There were a few very short periods of play, mostly hanging out in the main cities and saying hello to people who had become close friends. My female friend and I spoke via emails, though not regularly and distance soon gave us clarity enough to back away.
I didn't ask my fiancee to quit with me. I wish I had. I showed displeasure at first but never pushed it, but eventually she became upset and frusturated with me for leaving. She felt like I had abandoned her even though I had begun cooking meals for her every night, looking for a job to support our real lives.
I found out she was indeed cheating on me. I am very proud to say nothing even close to serious happened between me and my friend (though given time it very well may have) but my fiancee decided that she was in love with this man.
She's kicked me out of my home. Like a crack addict, she violently pushed away the partner that was getting clean, and latched on to this man who is as hooked as she. Eight years and a promised marriage, and she left me for a man in a video game she has never once met.
I hear that 14 hours of play in a week is considered excessive. She plays that in a single day. Sometimes more, if it's a raid night. She rarely cooks, she promises to clean but only does a minimal part in a day (like half a room). She has lost 60 pounds, and she has not had a job in four months.
I am very afraid for my fiancee. I have no idea who to turn to, but for myself I am currently seeking therapy, addiction recovery and spiritual guidance to help me through this.
This story is very real, and not a bit of it is made up. I wish to God it was, because my life has been ruined by this game. I understand it is largely based on a dependant personality but the addiction is still very real, and very dangerous.
Ten months to destroy two lives.

[usedtobehappy]

Just wants to play WOW

My boyfriend came to live with me in the UK after meeting him
on a business trip in Delhi. He is French. Though stressful as the
moving country is very difficult, learning the language etc.. its all
a bit isolating. My man gradually at first got into gaming. He
was'nt much of a socialiser and never seemed to gel with my
friends.

Eventually he got stuck into WOW. He played every night, I
cooked he ignored me.

After two years he told me he was going back to France and
hated England. His work in the UK when he got it was hard.
Plastering, cleaning cars etc..

He left then after a couple of weeks phoned me and told me he
still loved me and wanted to come back. Once he arrived back he
was gaming full time again. He seemed to be in a depression.
I had worked v hard in the Uk bought my own home, nice car,
good career. I decided UK was the problem. Gave up job, sold
house said goodbye to family.

Im in France now, I really miss my job own home. We bought a
2** small hotel. Needs a lot of work doing. I realise now all our
problems were infact WOW. He plays every day and most
evenings. We made a deal he would have thursdays off. But I feel
depressed, isolated and ignored. Financially I feel I have
commited suicide. My partner does'nt have to worry as he will be
fnancially secure in the future. We don't have children.
So not much point in being married.

I am begining to wonder things will never change. I am 39 and
about to go through Icsi treatment which Im getting cold feet as
how can a gamer like this bring up a baby. Im afraid I will be a
sad mother.

All of this makes me feel like packing my bags I have tried
everything he just wants to play WOW.

[wantmyhusbandback]

Warcraft

I was duped! When I met my hubby, I didn't know that he played video games as much as he does. Once I moved in, he played them a little, but, still, he could control his playing (about 8 hours per day), he works from home so, it is easy to do both. Well, I thought that buying him the next in the series of Warcraft would be smart, as he is hard to buy for. I bought it this past Christmas....he used to come to bed by 11:30 every night, now he spends all night playing this game and I do mean ALL night. I have seen him start to play at 9:00 am and not stop until 6 or 7 am the NEXT DAY! I am NOT making this up. He introduced his 12 year old son to Warcraft and now he plays it all day when he comes to visit on the weekends. Which now is every weekend when it used to be every other weekend. He only wants to get to the game as his mom doesnt have the internet. This past weekend, he played from the time he got up about 8 am until he passed out about 2am then my hubby would take over. What have I done? I took something that I thought he enjoyed and made it even more addictive to him. The fact that Warcraft now requires the internet and a subscription mean nothing to him. Oh btw, we were just married on July 4, 2004 in Aruba. Now, he claims he "just isn't tired" or doesn't want to sleep with me". Or "he likes being alone" I don't beleive it, as I said, this just started when he got the new Warcraft. Can someone please explain why a man of 35 with a Masters degree from Kellogg with 2 teen children and an attractive wife would want to play video games for 20 hours a day?????? Help!! I am in the 1st stage of divorce. This is ridiculous behavior.

[wantmyhusbandback]

I should BLIZZARD for Alienation of Affection!!!

I am seriously considering suing Blizzard for being instrumental in the alienation of affection from my husband. The game (that I bought for him BTW less than 6 weeks ago is now far more important then anything else in his life, but of course, just like the crack head or the alcoholic, he claims that he "doesn't have a problem" and can stop at anytime. He is a grown ass man, I am not his mom and can't make him stop, you get the picture. Well, my marriage is over. I was served with divorce papers on 2/6/06 along with a BOGUS order of protection, anyone think this may be so that he can play WoW without my "nagging"? He got me out of the house for 2 weeks. Yes people, this man went to the extreme!!! He is getting more and more sucked in, he doens't sleep and I suspect is eating very little. His sex drive which used to be in over drive is now down to once a week, WHAM BAM thank you man sessions, so that he can run back to the game..If you all believe anything, believe that this game is an addiction, if you don't have the ability to play in moderation and he doesn't, then you or your loved ones will become CONSUMED. I am glad that I found out sooner rather then later that he is so weak! Anyway, I am done with my rants, I just had to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading:-)

[wantmyhusbandback]

correction

We were just married on 7/4/05, 6 months ago, not 2004 as I incorrectly typed. We are newly weds still, but, I'm sure his mistress WoW, will win out...:(

[wantmyhusbandback]

I KNOW ADDICTION-AA MEMBER & Proud

Thanks for all the replies and advice!! Of course my "blog" was not well received by my husband. However, I must say that I am not over reacting. I know addictive behavior, as I am a RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC. This is a cry for help!!! As Alcoholics family and friends have Al-ANON, what do the WOW "widows" have??? *sigh*

[mozelle1]

world of warcraft

This might sound crazy, i'm throwing it out there anyway. Do people use this forum to join up with people they are having affairs with in order to spend time with them?

[his true love]

Why are you looking?

Funny you should ask that question. Looking for someone new to fool around with?

[venq]

How to delete the characters

Hi,

My name is Carol, my exboyfriend is experimenting the same addiction, he is now consuming himself in that game , he forgot that he loved to play piano, love to go to a good restaurant, watching movies,he dreamed about having a car, and now that he finally got it he doesn´t use it. His life is going to work in the mornings, then run to his house to start playng at 5:30pm until 3am, no stop. One day I found him on the floor with a terrible headache, the computer on and he was crying. He told me he didn´t eat the last night nor that morning, and he wasn´t able to get up because of the pain.
We are no longer dating, he thought a girlfriend gave him less time for play, and he coould´t let down "his friends" (the people he doesn´t even now or care aobout).
His parents are very worried about him, they don´t want to lose him, they think the best way to make him stop is to keep away the computer, but my question is would taht erase the character or he could play for another place like nothing happen?
CAN SOMEONE ADVICE US PLEASE!!

[Rokkguitarist]

Message has been deleted.

[mr.t74]

Problems and control

Let me begin by saying that I play World Of Warcraft for several hours, about 4 days a week. This consists of the weekends and at night, usually after 9PM. I am married have a child and am in my 30's. I am educated, intelligent and gainfully employeed.

That being said, WOW is very addictive and can lead to major problems, with various aspects of life, if not kept in perspective. (Alienation of friends and family, problems with work, or school and duties are easy to immagine) At times that is dificult to do, especially for an immature mind that cannot put things into perspective.

Being a video game kid (had the Atari back in 1980 and about every gaming system since) World of Warcraft is the clumination of every game experience that I could ever immagine. I believe that it is so very indepth in the span of the game play, it is very easy to get lost in. I must say that it is the most incredible game I have ever played.

It is an addiction, if left uncontrolled, as are many things in life. Many people become addicted to alcohol, smoking, weightlifting, NASCAR, football, even sex; however any of these things in moderation and are not evil. In fact, most all are enjoyable in moderation.

Moderation, control and perspective are necessary.

If you have a loved one, or freind that is addicted, you must speak to them from the heart and agree on some compromise. Getting them away from the game for a while is the first step.

Remember that this game is paid for and is not free. Someone is paying for the game, or owns the computer. If you have a child that is using your computer, or you are paying for the service, you have the final say. Most young people rely on their parents for some support and using that support as leverage is not only your right, but may be necessary in extreem cases.

If you do not have any leverage, you may want to seek professional advice.

I sincerely my words have helped.

[Mr Gixer]

Waste of a life!

I have a nephew who plays world of warcraft constantly, sometimes anything from 10hrs to 36hr at a time.
He is old enough to know better, but sadly doesnt.
I must confess it was myself that first intrduced him to the game. i noticed i was playing wow more each day so i quit the game for my own good and limit myself to playing online for only a few hrs now. (not wow though)
Today i watched my neph looking at his monitor, playing wow and he couldnt move his character because of lag ( a new instance or something - quite alot of ppl on screen ) what the hell is the point of playing a game when you cant actually play it!
He also has a problem with skype as far as im concerned: He has quite a few friends in the game wow, and chats constantly to ppl who are playing.
When are you going to realise these ppl are not your friends but just ppl who share an addiction to wow. I see him sitting in his chair day after day not interested in anything other than wow. How sad it is, what a waste of a life!

[inapropriate]

Seriously people

you people are f.u.b.a.r.

If any of you ever experienced a single moment of clarity you would realize the problem doesnt lie in your hustband/boyfriend/friend or significant othere, mabey there neglecting you becuase your boring or they are bored of you...it happens in relationships all the time. ANd to the gamers that are being seduced by this bull of i am addicted to wow...ok i play wow a lot, i also go to college, i also play football and keep my parting up on the weekends. SO to the parents who are tired of there child being sucked into teh virtual reality that is world of warcraft, they could be out doing drugs,or somthign along those lines. I started reading these articles becaue i am giving a speech on americas culter and how it has no intestinal fortitude and tries to find a f*cking scapegoat and try to hide the real problem at hand.
feel free to contact me at my email.

[inapropriate]

Seriously people

you people are f.u.b.a.r.

If any of you ever experienced a single moment of clarity you would realize the problem doesnt lie in your hustband/boyfriend/friend or significant othere, mabey there neglecting you becuase your boring or they are bored of you...it happens in relationships all the time. ANd to the gamers that are being seduced by this bull of i am addicted to wow...ok i play wow a lot, i also go to college, i also play football and keep my parting up on the weekends. SO to the parents who are tired of there child being sucked into teh virtual reality that is world of warcraft, they could be out doing drugs,or somthign along those lines. I started reading these articles becaue i am giving a speech on americas culter and how it has no intestinal fortitude and tries to find a f*cking scapegoat and try to hide the real problem at hand.
feel free to contact me at my email.

[wantmyhusbandback]

No YOU get serious and get work/life balance!!

Spoken like a true addict. Good luck in life, you will need it!

[D-Man2006]

addiction or a way to escape?

my name is Daryl and im 19 years old, ive been playing
WoW since Jan 1st and im hooked, I was never a fan of
Warcraft, or RPG's but i did play some Rpg's before,
people say im addicted to it i say im not.
my life has been pretty good, once i hit 15 and got my
first PC i got addicted to playing FPS (first person
shooters), my school life was hell, didnt have many
friends, no one liked me, i kept myself out of the social
life, i was not good in school and i found playing
computer helped my stress levels, i was kicked out of
highschool cause i failed all my classes, i have ADD
and i find it hard to concentrate, ever since ive played
WoW ive made more freinds in real life, i also play DoD
(day of defeat) a FPS and i use a mic and i am not
afraid to use it, but i have to say i have more friends on
WoW then in real life, all my real friends i have play
videogames and 3 of em play WoW.
my parents are also the big factor in why i play WoW
alot, they always say stuff like "why arent you done
school yet" or "your sister is passing, your still in grade
9" they dont accept that i do have ADD, I try to oversee
it but its really hard.

[D-Man2006]

addiction or a way to escape?

my name is Daryl and im 19 years old, ive been playing
WoW since Jan 1st and im hooked, I was never a fan of
Warcraft, or RPG's but i did play some Rpg's before,
people say im addicted to it i say im not.
my life has been pretty good, once i hit 15 and got my
first PC i got addicted to playing FPS (first person
shooters), my school life was hell, didnt have many
friends, no one liked me, i kept myself out of the social
life, i was not good in school and i found playing
computer helped my stress levels, i was kicked out of
highschool cause i failed all my classes, i have ADD
and i find it hard to concentrate, ever since ive played
WoW ive made more freinds in real life, i also play DoD
(day of defeat) a FPS and i use a mic and i am not
afraid to use it, but i have to say i have more friends on
WoW then in real life, all my real friends i have play
videogames and 3 of em play WoW.
my parents are also the big factor in why i play WoW
alot, they always say stuff like "why arent you done
school yet" or "your sister is passing, your still in grade
9" they dont accept that i do have ADD, I try to oversee
it but its really hard.

[D-Man2006]

your right

Sure WoW addiction isnt good but im addicted and i
find it better then being on drugs, or being around
people who manipulate you, ***......people are
addicted for so any reasons, mine are because my
parents put me down cause im not good in school,
honestly Id rather be at home playing WoW and letting
the day pass by, you must also take into consideration
that because a game is addictive that negativty must
come out of it, i was addicted to alot of WW2 FPS' but i
learned a ton, it made me want to join the military, i
want to learn German, my reflexes have increased, and
u will probably say "well what does WoW have to do
with that you wont learn anything" thats bull right there,
ive made tons of freinds on WoW, i get on WoW
everynight after school and im welcomed each time im
back in by my friends, the ones i never had in
highschool, my friends i do go to school with play WoW
and we dont consider anytime we play WoW as an
addiction, you people might.

since January 1st when i first started playing WoW, i
had ove 360hours of gameplay along with many more
games, each week i go to school and i play WoW, in a
week i could throw in a good 50 hours, playing from
4:30PM to 12:00AM and getting up at 6:30AM for
school, but after goin through a depression i had (had
nothing to do with videogames) i played WoW and i
was getting better.

sure im lazy, my parents give me hell when i dont clean
the house, they tell me to get a job, but i want to live the
way i want to and i shouldn't have to put up that from
anyone.

and thats my 2 cents