Comments on: Kids' safety online: Share your suggestions

Parents, do you know what your children are doing on the Internet? How do you keep them out of harm's way? Let us know; we'll recap your advice.

[debll]

Don't try to child-proof the computer -

- computer-proof the child. The only way to keep a child safe to to teach her. That's teach - not lie to, order, isolate, browbeat, etc. Our job as parents is to teach our children to survive in the world. You don't do that by pretending the world doesn't exist. Kids will find the world - at school, at a friend's house, at the local internet cafe, even at the local convenience store in some towns. So you teach them. You teach them who and what is out there and what is good and what is bad. You teach them values and common sense and answer their questions honestly and without judgement or anger or force. The biggest terrorists in this world are not Al Qaida, it's parents who want to force their children to think, feel, and do only what they approve of. If your kids trust you they will come to you with questions, and with their mistakes - they will turn to you for help when they need it. But if they fear you they will lie, and hide, and go to someone else who makes them feel safer.
My daughter has been online since we got Prodigy and a 2400 baud modem. She has seen some things that I wish she hadn't, but she comes to me and we talk about it. By the same token, she has seen some things on the nightly news, and at the neighborhood mall, and in movie trailers, and in cars on the street that are a match for anything on the Internet. I can't be with her 24/7. But I can teach her values that are with her 24/7. I can teach her to trust and believe in me so that she feels free to call me no matter what she's done, no matter where she's been, and she knows that while I may not approve, I'll always be there for her and always love her. And that's how I keep her safe on the Internet and everywhere else.

[ralfthedog]

If you don't have solid computer skills...

Perhaps it is best not to have kids.

I think it would be best if people who can't program PHP/SQL at the minimum would abstain from reproduction. Limiting children to people who program in C++ with some experience in Assembly would be better (I am not saying you have to be an Assembly guru, but everyone should be able to code a simple program).

PS. Putting the computer in a public room does not always help. I remember looking at porn in hex as a kid.

[mbenson111]

hehe

That's funny, but a good point. In terms of kids looking a adult content, what did we do before the net? find dad's girly magazines. It's just easier now to do it online.

Teach the kids. That's what we need to do.

[jd1023948]

Oh yeah, because techno-geeks with no people skills...

are always the BEST parents. What a dork. Here's a better idea. If you have kids, cancel the home Internet. Except for business uses, nobody needs it, it's just a load of crap for no-life nerds.

[Penguinisto]

The solution: Be with them.

If they're 6 years old and under, sit right next to them as they get online, and make them ask before clicking any link, or by typing in any URL that isn;t already bookmarked... period. Only the web should be used.

from 7-9, be in the same room, with an easy view of the screen. They still have to ask before they can hit anything not already bookmarked, but this time they can do email and chat as long as you're right there next to them and you speak with the person on the other end of the chat line (to let that person know you're eyeballing the whole thing).

10-16? You're still in the same room w/ an easy view of the monitor, but this time they can show some discretion and initiative as to where they can go.

17-18, they're allowed to use the computer somewhat independantly (even letting the kid have one in his/her room), but make this a gradual loosening, letting them know that you are perfectly allowed to walk in and review their activities online at any time, and perhaps only allowing the 17-year-old to use the computer when you're home and at no other time. It would prolly be a good idea to install a discreet keylogger, or at least copy off their browser history lists to a location they can't get at for later review.

If you do it right, over time the child learns that you're going to be there no matter what they do or try, and that once they leave the house and strike out on their own, they will have developed habits that will keep them cautious about what they do there.

/P

[sgtslappy]

Lol. Restrictking will only make it worse.

I'm 18 years old and restricting the computer will only make it want to get around the blocks and restrictions even more.

I think the only thing you can do is Educate them and let them make the decsion themselves.

I mean, look at these people. Beat it into their head that they shouldn't meet people off the internet, I know my parnets did.

The more limits you set, the more likely they are going to rebel and do it just to deify you.

[cariade]

Parents working together

Delegates to the 2007 National PTA Annual Convention in St. Louis, Missouri will be considering and voting on a resolution which addresses the problem of Internet and Wireless Communications Safety. The resolution submitted jointly by New York PTA and Alaska PTA focuses on PTA members working together with communities and schools to create an awareness of the dangers and the solutions to help keep children safe both online and on their cell phones.

Because PTA is such a large organization, they have the ability to reach many parents and children with vital information. So parents who may not been net savvy can find out about the problems and solutions to keep your kids safe online.

If you are PTA member let your delegates to the convention know your opinions and suggestions or online safety for kids.

[Cameosis1]

What is safe?

My child (8 years old) and uses several social networks for children. I monitor use closely and have been attracted to one social network in particular called woogi world. They have a parents section on the site that attempts to educate parents about all manner of subjects. I recently read an article on their parents page called "defining the meaning of safe" (http://www.woogiworld.com/parents/) that really makes one consider what safe really is for our children and for adults as well. I have spoken to many parents and have come to the conclusion that safety, as the article implies is a combination of mindset, behaviro and an active community. We can't make children safe purley by blocking access or monitoring obsessively.