Comments on: Ick, old married guys on Facebook

Maybe the older crowd has good reasons for using social-networking sites, but CNET News.com intern Sabena Suri can't quite imagine what they'd be.

[gsetser]

One cool thing about being old ...

is that you can hire, or not hire, young people. And you understand that comments live online forever.

[facefur]

Smart kid

While some of her comments about us "older" people and the social web sites are a bit on hte juvenile side (which she sitll is one of), I was glad to see she had enough presence to question why an older married man would ask to be her friend - too many young user do not have such an attitude.

However, Suri, I have accounts on MySpace and other sites because I enjoy socializing with other people whom I would not otherwise know. I've had the opportunity to actually meet people in the US and foreign countries that I've contacted online. Age is not a limiting factor in the use of technology, attitude is. Too many people of my generation I know are actually afraid of computers or at least to touch them. Your "generation" (is there really such a thing?) will probably not even understand that, let alone experience it. Be glad some of us over 30 folks keep up with modern advances.

[btyrrell]

What would you have said at age 17 ?

Speaking as a high school teacher (who is on Facebook, ick), for the age of this young lady, the writing is well organized, and is certainly indicative of her generation's feelings and thoughts.
However, the editor who decided to place the thoughts of a 17 year old on a news site was, in my mind, only looking to create the stir that this article has done.
Shame on you, CNET, for exposing this girl to such public scrutiny for your own gain.
The place for her to test her beliefs is hardly here, and you could easily had re-written this piece to include her voice, but tempered it with an adult narration, thus making it more ?newsworthy?.
Sabina, please continue to write, you have a real gift and I hope to read more of what you have to say in a couple of years when you have more experience under your belt.

[Claire Gaeta]

Likes and Dislikes

FYI...I am a 46 year old single parent.

My Chemical Romance, Icky Thump and Angels N Airwaves among others are included on my i-Tunes list.

Keeping an open mind and learning are undoubtedly wonderful things to experience.

The problem here is married men seeking communication with girls 20-30 years their junior, and often crossing lines with Profile Pictures and messages.

I personally review profiles on the site I work for weekly, and in accordance with FCC regulations governing and defining obscenity and profanity, anything inappropriate is removed from the site.

If any 46 year old man attempted to befriend my 16 year old daughter on the internet under the guise of conversations in music you can be darn sure I would have questions as to the true motive.

Wasn't the lesson we learned with myspace of any value? The company soaked up hundreds of thousands of tax payer dollars in a lawsuit to have a court tell them they must behave in an ethical manner. 29,000 TWENTY NINE THOUSAND Sex Offenders on the site.

If you don't have questions after that incident...you are comatose.

[Chai67]

First and Last Opinion

This article reinforces my belief of why CNET is NOT a good source for information.

If someone who graduated in '86 @ 18 that person would now be 39. To suggest people 40 and over should not be on Facebook is age discrimination and then to backtrack further reinforces why the question was wrong in the first place. The lack of credibility and prejudice is no excuse to publish such poor journalism regardless of age.

John Smith's predatory practices are wrong but it's nothing new. As pointed in previous responses bad things occur online and off. Is this commentary the only reprisal to Mr. Smith? I'd doubt this publishing will stop any "duuude" from being, "icky". Besides, I think Mr. Smith is a prank by the author's acquaintances or maybe "ickiness" is the in thing with teens these days. So next up Mr. Jones, Mr. Brown, Mr. and Mrs. Ho or did some editor get lucky?

Excuse my colloquialisms but those involved with posting this story are "soo lame".

[damph]

Facebook for all

hey - as an over-30 who uses Facebook, I'm surprised that there seems to be an impression that it's just for kids. I know dozens, if not hundreds of people who are no longer in their adolescence who use it legitimately - for exactly the reasons outlined in the article.

MySpace, I know, tends to appeal more to the younger crowd, but I'm pretty sure that Facebook - with its less flashy interface and more serious purpose - is used by people of all ages.

What is creepy is the idea of asking anyone you don't know, or hardly know, to be your friend on Facebook. Unless you've already had some contact (whether in the online or offline world) you're pretty much being a stalker.

[maidensolo]

sebina's fear's reversed:

Sometimes I get a tingling queezy feeling stemming from a fear that my children may be posers on adult sites and I'm temporarily stricken with this same family identity crises!!!!!!It passes quickly thank goodness. MS@YH.c

[grim22]

lack perspective

Ah, the naivete of youth. Refreshing isn't it? Well, just wait until she gets old like the rest of us. As Eddie Vedder sings, "If I had known then, what I know then."

Some of us like Facebook because it requires a more extensive vetting process for 'friends' and doesn't spam the hell out of you like MySpace does. I am pretty sure that all of the scantily-clad women in my friend request box aren't my real friends.

Also, I think that old fogies like me (32yo) appreciate the clean, spartan interface and 'no-frills' feel.

Even though the writer tries to dispel the myths that more mature users use Facebook for networking and long-distance friendships, those are precisely the reasons why many of us use it. She goes on to say 'It's unclear why you and your long-distance college buddy Mike couldn't just talk on the phone or e-mail.' Well, she should look at the converse argument with regards to her high school friends who are all cool kids undoubtedly on facebook. To me it's unclear why she would need to use facebook when she could just walk up to her friends' locker between periods to communicate. Also, don't they have phones and email? Same goes for you Sabena.

By the way Sabena, I am married and in my 30's. Will you be my friend?

[zCos]

Nice troll

You may have been trying to be funny, while attempting to insert some topical points, but instead you veered too far into insulting the primary audience on CNet. Maybe if you'd inserted a few pot shots at your own generation, you could have gotten away with it. On the other hand, you did manage to generate a huge number of comments, most of which were more fun to read than your own, which is the sign of a good trolling.

I was originally going to reply with a parody of "Creepy needy clingy teen girls", because I've certainly had my share of teen girls needing replacement daddies to pay attention to them. (That's not counting those sexy FBI pretenders I like to flirt with. I like to email them pictures of famous pedophiles.) But then I realized I don't get paid to generate page hits and ad refreshes. Still, thanks for the doubly cheap entertainment.

[billtaiwan]

Prejudice is alive and well

Just because a teenager can write, doesn't make it worth reading or cool. She did hit on part of the problem, and all the bad reasons that she mentioned as to why older adults might want to be on face book are certainly true. But, just because a lot of people misuse something, doesn't make it bad. Don't a lot of teens get on facebook for the same reasons? Aren't there many there to spy on others with a false ID? Aren't there many who put up a picture of someone else to feel pretty or handsome? Aren't there many who get on to get popularity votes or to be elected class president? So, should all these teachers get off facebook and give it over to the more real and responsible adults? And yes, an old man can keep up with his ancient classmates by phone and e-mail, but can't a teenager do so also? Can't a teenager admit that an adult might also have some of the same desires for community and communication that a teen? Is that wrong? The solution is not to put everyone in the same box and propagate prejudice. Those who misuse a service should be criticized and even excoriated. But, don't put me (and I graduated from High School even earlier than 1986) in the same box as that old man who wants to be friends with her. Shame on him! But, I'm not interested in making friends with a high schooler across the country, in spying on my children, in pretending to be young, etc. Shame on her for for impugning my integrity and many others in my generation. And, shame on C-Net for giving her that forum. Surely they could have found another teenager who could write in this and stick to the real issue without spreading their hatred and prejudice. Yes, there is a problem here, but it isn't age related.

[Mike Entner]

An adult on facebook -- what was I thinking?

How dare we adults use technology?! I was sending Internet
email before this intern was in elementary school. You know;
that was back when dinosaurs walked the earth. Ask the intern
who paid for her computer, upcoming education, etc.. There's a
good reason facebook was opened up to the adults -- Kids have
little money to spend. Advertising makes the world go around.

BTW, here's a Facebook group just for us old folks:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=4992068422
a.k.a. -- The kids don't want us on Facebook.

See, I know how to point-and-click too, add pictures, and invite
friends -- LOL. I even know how to text. Oh, that reminds me --
need to pay my kid's cell phone bill.

[culturtha]

My Lords --- She was right

There are old creepy guys stalking teens on Facebook --- Good for you girl, you keep telling it like it is.
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Facebook officials have been subpoenaed by New York's top law enforcement official after a preliminary review revealed "significant defects in the site's safety controls" designed to shield underage users from sexual predators.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/09/25/facebook_subpoena/

Under-age profile
Monday's demand on Facebook follows a review in which investigators posed as underage users and their parents to gauge the networking site's commitment to protecting teen users. One investigator, for instance, created the profile of a fourteen-year-old girl from New York. About a week later she received a message from a 24-year-old Facebook user asking "do you have any nude pics?"

[EWS1]

Married People

Married people would be better off using a dedicated married dating site like http://www.Married-Woman-Personals.com where they could discreetly do their own thing in privacy.

[wifeofafacebooker]

I am a 40something female and I joined facebook for about a week....it really creeped me out!!! Anyone over 30 should have better things to do. The fact that my husband would rather hang out on facebook than with me, makes me ill!

[ladyduba]

Sorry, honey, but 17-year-olds don't corner the market on creepy friend requests. I'm one of the humans whose (HORRORS!) high school grad year is '87 and I've gotten requests from men I don't know who disturbingly only seem to have friends who are girls. I also have friends! Yes, and we use technology to talk with each other! In fact many of my contemporaries work for some of the biggest tech firms here in Bay Area, writing the software and designing the products you are so thrilled with!

I was researching the creepy guy issue when I found your article. I think getting teen perspectives on issues is great, but if you want to be a writer, even a blogger, please learn there are many varied perpsectives and experiences out there and listening and talking to all sorts of people will help you become a better writer. Unless you are going for a Fox News kind of punditry career. But I do agree that these guys are bad news at best "collecting" pretty women facebook friends and at worst using the connection to do something worse. And actually, just because a guy you don't know is younger doens't mean he's ok--if you don't know him, he could still be dangerous.Ted Bundy was 27 when he committed his first murder.