Comments on: Ick, old married guys on Facebook

Maybe the older crowd has good reasons for using social-networking sites, but CNET News.com intern Sabena Suri can't quite imagine what they'd be.

[basraw]

Ewww, nasty tramps on MYSPACE keep friend requesting me

everyday, some naked tramp wants to be my friend.

EWWWWWWWW

[Hoser McMoose]

Pervs on ma Facebook?!

No way! There are pervs on Facebook? Next you're going to tell me that there are pervs on MySpace too?

Get over it, the 'Deny' button on the Friend Request is there for a reason. Hell, John Smith might not even be a perv at all, the author might just have hd the same name as a friend of his from college and he couldn't tell if it was really her from the 1"x1" picture, which is all you've got to go on when making a friend request on Facebook.

[jgoewert]

Please go back to MySpace, all you kids are ruining Facebook

I started using Facebook when BoardGameGeek started syncing up to it.

http://apps.facebook.com/boardgamegeek
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/171759

Sorry that us 30+ year old geezers are using the technology out there. I can't possibly see why any high schoolers or below are even on there. Communicating with friends? Don't you all have Cellphones for that?

Other than that, congrats on a horrid article with a sensationalistic beat with little research. You'll do the world of media proud making articles about predatures using the DS to snare kids.

[GeoNorth]

The kids were there first...

...it started off as a site purely for bloody students IIRC although whether that extended to schools as well as universities (my old high school's on there) I don't know.

[jeffhesser]

Methinks thou doth protest too much

To those of you who feel the author is too young:
Believe it or not CNET is not some l33tist news site that only appeals to veteran IT pros. This site does an amazing job of addressing technology issues across an extremely broad spectrum. I am impressed that they are open minded enough to either employ or at least give such young writers a chance.

To those who took offense to this article:
The girl has a point, she is not saying facebook is only for the 17-20'something crowd but rather that predators are a too common occurrence on these social networking sites. There is NO excuse for a 40 year old man to be attempting to be 'friends' with a 17 year old girl in another state. This persons intentions are clear and to have a profile as a 40 year old man listing favorite artists and interests similar to that of teens is simply unacceptable. That is the equivalent to standing in the corner of the highschool dance in a trench coat and hands in the pockets. Defending those people simply says something about who you truly are.

[lostviking]

profile is right..

thats what you are doing right now. All people over the age of 30 are trying to get into little girls pants. If you want to be part of a social networking site, then you should expect to interact with people older than you. Why is that immediately about sex? You need to do some growing up too.

[nigelrowe]

Um, like get over yourself

Hey lady, the world is a big place. Stop twirling your hair for a minute and realize that not everyone conforms to your stereotypes. Us older guys see Facebook (and maybe even Myspace) as a cool and useful place to be for reasons other than just trying to score off hot chicks. I can't wait for you to hit 30 and realize that you're now perceived as some "old woman" (or worse, a soccer mom) by cool young guys.

[traceytracey]

Yep!

couldnt agree more

[rshelton3000]

MyBook.com

The social networking sites have me totally worried. I have a son and a daughter who have been pestering me to let them create a profile on one of the prominent social sites (not to be mentioned here). I worry because of all the creeps out there that pose (or not) as young "hip" kids who are out to vicitimize young people in one way or another. I haven't checked it out but are 'friends' transferable? I mean if I am a friend of a person who has many other friends are those people now my friends? Can they see my "private" page? Something to consider...
But back to the subject young people have a lot to consider when they go online with one of these sites and their parents have to weigh the risks of letting them post profiles. Parents please watch their pages so nothing inappropriate is posted!!! Also check their privacy settings to ensure they are protected as possible because they may not know, or care, how to.

[kiljoymccoy]

Knows her target audience????

maybe she should have been a intern for some teen magazine out there that her target audience would actualy like her comments. But instead she decided to write about her spoiled self and how shes disgusted by her target audience?
Lucky for us her daddy or mommy will get her through life so she never really has to understand that if she wants to be a writer its best not to **** off your audience. but than shell probably start crying from all the comments about her article that her daddy will suggest she go into something more along the lines of a spoiled kid

[Dale Sundstrom]

An Obnoxious and Uninsightful Article

I?m over 40 and use social networks. People sometimes ask to be your friend without saying hello or introducing themselves when you have nothing obvious in common. No big deal, I usually ignore them. I?m not looking to collect a big list of young cute friends with edgy haircuts. I have nice experiences online with people I share interests with, and have learned great and even profound things from people who are very different from me (mostly people from other countries on Orkut). I?ve had wonderful conversations about music, films, religion, politics, and a variety of everyday crap with kids younger than Sabena. New things that online friends introduced me to, like Yerba Mate tea, the Acai berry, and great bands and films have enriched my everyday life, and I?ve learned firsthand about many things such as Sikhism that I could never have discovered any other way. It?s a shame that Sabena has such a narrow view of what social networking is good for and completely misses its greatest promise.

[jmdecombe]

Good perspective from a 17-year old girl

Really, there is nothing wrong with being an older married man
who loves new music on Facebook, especially if you are honest
about it and your interests are much broader than that. Kelly
Clarkson does not belong to 17-year olds just like the Beatles do
not belong to sexagenarians. But you are right that older men
who try too hard to look cool are pathetic, and they are quite
easy to spot by the general feel of their profile.

Now, please do realize that the most dangerous ones are still
older married men who pretends to be younger and single in
order to attract young girls. Those are obviously harder to figure
out. This is why you are right that young girls should no take
any chances and stick to being friends with people they actually
know.

As for older men, even if they have the best intentions in the
world, they should understand that young girls often receive lots
of friend requests from older men that they must constantly
deny, and that even though they can safely do so, they still feel
aversion at the thought that a man who could be their dad
would be interested in being their friend, just like you said. Even
if an older man actually knows the young girl in real life, he
should still avoid sending her a friend request, but let her send
one if she wishes, which will most likely not happen anyway
since she does not want you spying on her life.

All in all, this was a good, intelligent, and slightly provocative
article from the perspective of a 17-year old girl, which resulted
in a lot of comments. Mission accomplished!

Disclaimer: I am an older married man who likes all sorts of
music, and I do not feel that I have to restrict my choices in that
matter because of age discrimination :-).

[Claire Gaeta]

Age Discrimination?

What would any 40+ year old man want with any underage girl? There is no justification for it.

I have a sixteen year old daughter who communicates with friends without the use of facebook or my space. I have forbidden her to do so, check her e-mail several times weekly on the spur of the moment, and don't hesitate to watch im conversations.

I would never allow her to communicate with anyone married or not, that she does not know from school, or who is not a personal friend or family member.

Joining a networking site for informational purposes is fine...but you can do so without attempting to befriend underage girls.

[NewsMaven]

Facebook

Exactly! While there's nothing wrong with networking, the business model just doesn't gel when you're asking to interact with minors.

It's creepy and intrusive. Ick is right.

[Troll Hard]

How about networking for a job

and keeping contacts with your college team members and old coworkers.

Some people just want friends as well. I get a lot of friend requests from people I don't even know.

[The_Decider]

Behold, the wisdom of a teenager

I sure hope I wasn't as stupid and self-absorbed when I was a teen as this kid is.

When she grows up and reads this she is going to cringe. Hopefully her parents read what she wrote and unplugs her computer. This girl needs to spend more time educating herself and she is obviously in dire need of some discipline.

The internet was not invented for kids. The world does not revolve around you. I haven't done research, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out the majority of users on these sites are over 30. I know a 43 year old female that uses this site and has friends on her list from 15 to 60. So what? Yes, some guys are creepy, but you are no less creepy.

If this hopelessly clueless young lady thinks that she is actually socializing on these sites, then she is more clueless then she appears. Online socializing is an oxymoron.

[GeoNorth]

Behold, the stupidity of an old fart!

[i]I sure hope I wasn't as stupid and self-absorbed when I was a teen as this kid is. [/i]

I bet you were, I'd safely say that I certainly was!

[i]Hopefully her parents read what she wrote and unplugs her computer. [/i]

When you grow up, you'll read that and cringe.

[i]This girl needs to spend more time educating herself and she is obviously in dire need of some discipline. [/i]

And you're just the sort of person to deliver it, amirite?

[i]The internet was not invented for kids. [/i]

It was invented by Al Gore for soldiers to gain easy access to porn :)

[i]I haven't done research, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out the majority of users on these sites are over 30.[/i]

I wouldn't be surprised if a sizable chunk of people on these sites are in their teens to mid 20s, although I know of people well into and beyond their 30s on such sites.

[i]Yes, some guys are creepy, but you are no less creepy. [/i]

What's so creepy about her?

[i]If this hopelessly clueless young lady thinks that she is actually socializing on these sites, then she is more clueless then she appears. Online socializing is an oxymoron.[/i]

Perhaps you're the one who needs Nursie to unplug YOUR computer.

[HaveSomeTea]

I'm done with CNET

I haven't spent too much time to CNET much lately mostly because the news articles are either lacking or boring or inaccurate.

Now... this?? Gosh this must be the most obnoxious, repulsive and ridiculous article I've ever seen in a "serious" news site.

If anyone has recommendations on a good tech news site let me know because I want to switch NOW.

[mnemonician]

Tech News Sites

Try http://slashdot.org/ and forget about CNET

[lostviking]

Try ZDnet.com

I haven't seen any children posting there.

[Claire Gaeta]

ICK x Infinity

JMHO, Wasn't Facebook designed for college communications?

The communications and networking sites have to take some responsibility for the development of these sites, and what they become.

Unfortunately, the internet is the ultimate disguise and the final truth is that with any type of communication site, you never really know who you are talking to.

The reasons spouses cheat are many, and the internet is an oasis for those needing their egos stroked, those actually seeking extra-maritial affairs, and the ultimate players.

Bottom line is you should NEVER, and I repeat NEVER add anyone to a friend's list that you don't know.

A boycott of sites that don't say what they mean and mean what they say with regard to structure is a good way to send the message that they are being quite irresponsible with the lives of people keeping these sites in business.

[flowerboy2001]

Great article :) Right on point!

Great article Sabena :)

Your analysis of inappropriate and disrespectful social
behaviours that older people show towards younger people is
right on point!

This article was also very useful professionally for me, since it
gave me a personal perspective from someone in your age group
on matters I have only been able to study from the perspective
of my own age.

And to all you a-h's that has been complaining about Sabena,
here writing style, person, age and generally been the kind of
disrespectful older people she complained about. Uck! You make
me puke!

This said by a 43 year old married male business analyst and
owner of a marketing agency, who is of the opinion that 43 year
old men (or women) has no business of making friends with
teenage girls (or boys), and that parents spying on their
teenagers private life (and violating their personal integrity as
humans) is morally wrong and should be considered child abuse,
unless there is some evidence (that would hold up in court) that
the teenager is subject to a crime or is engaged in illegal
activities.

Thanks :)

[KinetiK_SK8R]

No offense and nothing personal, but...

I would expect better grammar and word usage from a business analyst and owner of a marketing agency, especially if I were a potential customer.

[lostviking]

Try this...

spell checker.

[nicmart]

Savages

In our Clockwork Orange world, in which the Absolute Beginners
are festooned with tattoos, bloated with expletives, and sated with
arrogance, it is fantastic stupidity to imagine that young people are
offended by geezers. Commonplace are youthful IDs like
"horrible_*****" and "ur_worst-nightmare." Internet offensiveness,
like violent crime, is mostly a phenomenon of youth.

[scatz76900]

Whatever

I am 41 and have a myspace account. I do not seek to be friends with anyone other than the friends I already have. I have gotten to connect with old high school friends whom I haven't seen or talked to in years. Sure I have a couple college aged friends. One is a very dear friend's daughter and the other my daughter's birth aunt (she is adopted). I don't sit and search for unsuspecting 15 years olds to add as friends. BTW, my kids are only 7 & 8 and don't have myspace accounts so I am not spying. But as a parent it is important to keep track of what your kids are doing. It should be considered "child abuse" to not monitor your child's internet usage. Parent's who let their children spend hours at the computer with not so much as a "whatcha lookin at" should be shot. That is how they meet the "perverts" of the world.
It is Sabena's opinion and the world would be dull without it but she will have wrinkles and gray hair at some point and I bet still trying to be "in style".

[smilinberni]

I have to agree

flowerboy you are right with your comment. especially them being morally wrong. In all actuality Sabena did a marvelous job on writing this article. But in my comment I made the point that all of us older generation on Facebook and Myspace is not out to do morally wrong things. I am on both sites to make friends and that is it. The ones that are young on both sites are either my friends that I have met before I joined Facebook, and it was them that invited me onto Facebook. On myspace my nephews and my nieces are on my friends list and I am not out to spy on them and they know that it is just a way for all of us to keep in touch since we are all in different spots of this country.
And I will say now that I give Sabena KUDOS for the job she did on the article. No one should complain for her opinion and her view point or writing style.

[rob.d.intoronto]

Foolish child

Old is simply a point of view. To you I might be old but to my daughter (age 4) you and I are both old.

We *old* folks have been on the internet for a long (long) time and many of us were on facebook before it was opened to the high schoolers who have helped turn facebook into myspace.

One day, perhaps in 10 years, you'll actually be a reasonably good writer. Today you're fluff.

Cnet must be lacking content this week.

[Rosesimone]

Get a grip.

Facebook and My Space are PUBLIC bulletin boards.

I am on it, and I am one of the oldsters ... but I don't invite people I don't know to be my friend, nor do I accept friend requests from people I don't know ... and if you are smart about using Facebook or My Space, you will do the same.

I agree that parents should not use it to spy on their kids ... that is an invasion of privacy as much as reading your kids' emails is an invasion of privacy.

And yes, there are bound to be some dangerous creeps trolling around the internet for vulnerable kids to prey on ... and so kids have to be "Facebook-proofed" and cautioned repeatedly about not communicating with people they don't know.

But that's true for any social networking site on the internet that is open to everybody. These are public bulletin boards, and anybody, anwhere, of any age, can post on them.

[acheron5]

Agree

Long gone are the days of Sophie Formica and Ryan Seacrest. The
current editors have been riding the coat tails of the first
generation CNet staff that once made this site interesting instead
of offensive and uninformed for far too long. It's a complete
disgrace how far this site has fallen and continues to fall.

[WJeansonne]

Ick, young bony airheads in my facebook!

Like the guy below said--"get a grip".

[R. U. Sirius]

What a Crock

Wow, never trust anyone under 30.

This wins the award for the most offensive article ever on Cnet. This author is arrogant and apparently, just a bit prejudicial.

[mcmmac]

Arrogant

As a father of a daughter, I do not think it is arrogant. What
possible business does a 40 year old have hitting on 18 year olds
over the internet. Sounds like a potential deviant to me and she is
wise to stay away.