Some paintballers choose brute force to slather their opponents into submission, but that just doesn't seem very sporting. Something like the laser-sighted "Airsoft Submachine Gun" at least tests one's shooting skills, but even that still seems a bit primitive. Why, after all, should you make yourself a target at all?
The true guerrilla pigment warrior would opt for something like the "EMT Wireless Paintball Sentry Turret," a remote-controlled weapon that can rain 400 pellets at a time on your opponent as you observe the mayhem from a safe distance, sipping your tea. The turret comes with a tripod, CO2 tanks, and wireless remote, according to Technabob--and, of course, a video camera, transmitter, and LCD monitor so you can record all the priceless action.
It costs $1,959, though a wired turret model can be had for $1,399. But come on, isn't it worth it? We just hope that Caroline McCarthy doesn't find out about this.