If the TV is the modern-day nanny, then the remote must at least be the part-time neighborhood sitter. That's why so many of versions have been created with children in mind, from kiddie clickers to remotes designed to make them go cold turkey.
Finally, someone has taken this concept to its logical extreme: the "Control-a-Kid" remote. To wit, according its description: "The Control-a-Kid remote has all the functions you will need to help keep those little monsters under control. Functions like stop sulking or tantrums, eat greens to do homework and more. What is even better is that this remote does not use batteries, but is powered by positive thinking."
Alas, we're once again left only with our imagination to construct this parenting nirvana. But it's probably best not to take child-rearing advice from a site called Drinkstuff.com anyway.