It's too bad us Cravers are spread all over the country, because if we were all in the same location and we had one of these Easy Dunks in our possession, it'd make Crave czar Mike Yamamoto's job a lot easier. You see, he's like our camp counselor, and we're all the naughty little kids from Cabin 14 who are always starting food fights in the mess hall, catching squirrels and dying their fur pink, making dirty pictures during arts-and-crafts, and refusing to stop singing "99 Bottles of Beer On the Wall."
In other words, Camp Crave is a handful. But imagine how much more obedient and productive we'd all be if there were a dunk tank on the premises. All Mikey would have to do is punish our unsavory habits by making us take a turn in the seat while our co-workers greedily swarm around us, baseballs in hand, eager to hurl them at the target and get us soaked.
Consider the possibilities:
-- Was Steve Shankland's recap of Seagate hard drives a total yawn? Get thee to the dunk tank. (And then start making hard drives sexier.)
-- Has Tim Moynihan been cross-dressing again? A nice dip in the dunk tank will wash off all that eyeliner.
-- Is Erica Ogg embarrassing the whole company with her awkward tastes in headware? Get ready to get those TiVo antennae nice and wet!
-- Has Dave Katzmaier been pushing the word limit and failing to shut up about the latest Sony HDTVs? It's dunk tank time.
-- Have there not nearly been enough posts about Hello Kitty recently? Just track down the responsible party and set 'em in front of the dunk tank firing squad.
At $3,560, it's a small price to pay for the massive spike in employee productivity.