Mark Twain agreed with the proverb "Time and tide wait for no man," but pointed out that "in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide."
Maybe he would like the Lifetimer that Oh Gizmo noticed as a friendly addition for your boring desk.
Lifetimer lets you watch the milestones or footstones in your life approach and leave. It will track how much time is left until a birthday, Christmas, vacation, lunch, end of work day, weekend and programmed event of your choice.
It will count up from when you started your job, your current relationship, and when you last had sex.
But be warned, the calendar year only goes to 2050. So those of us planning to stick around until we are 100 years old (Show of hands please?) will have to buy another one. Of course by then, we may actually be able to stop the tide, or time for that matter.