I'm fascinated by old animatronics, especially ones that purport to tell your fortune. Zoltar, made famous by a cameo in the Tom Hanks movie "Big," isn't some musty old machine from the back of a forgotten arcade. He's real and he can be yours for $9,000 from Hammacher Schlemmer.
The fortune-telling machine revels in the details, from Zoltar's paisley vest to the black-and-gold-painted trim on the oak and birch cabinet.
Zoltar will shake you down for a quarter before spilling his secrets. He'll move, pass his hand over an illuminated crystal ball, and speak one of 16 audio fortunes. He then dispenses one of 23 different printed fortunes on a paper card.
According to the product description, "Zoltar acknowledges your presence and invites you to approach him." OK, that might be a little creepy when you get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and try to walk past Zoltar.
Zoltar stands more than 6 feet high and weighs 225 pounds, so he could also double as an NFL linebacker in a pinch. There's no mention of the machine's ability to grant wishes. The closest you might get is investing in a giant piano to relive the FAO Schwarz scene from "Big."