Online retailer Prairie Oak Studios has come to your rescue. Run by Jim Van Winkle, the Iowa-based crafts producer turns out beautiful cutting boards with all manner of designs.
Prairie Oak's Super Mario end grain cutting board is about 11 by 13 inches and shows your favorite 8-bit character with various varieties of wood that look like pixels.
It's put together with FDA-approved adhesives, smoothed with a seven-step process, and rubbed down with beeswax and grapeseed oil.
For his 8-bit designs, Van Winkle uses "pixel sticks" of wood including walnut, cherry, purpleheart, and cardinalwood. Another 8-bit board he's done is Nyan Cat, which is perfect for slicing up your Pop-Tarts.
In case you've been living in a cave, as I sometimes do, Nyan Cat is an insanely popular animated GIF cat flying through space with a Pop-Tart for a body. And a soundtrack from Japan.
Get your 8-bit Mario cutting boards on Etsy for $110 apiece.