The last time we caught up with Wicked Lasers, it was to check into the Spyder III Pro Arctic, a laser so powerful it requires wearing special eye protection and comes with the warning that it can blind instantly and set fire to skin.
Since then, Wicked Lasers has dodged a potential Lucasfilm lawsuit and set about figuring out how to make the Spyder even more like a real-life "Star Wars" lightsaber.
The result of that effort is the $100 LaserSaber, an add-on to the $300 Spyder. It's a 32-inch polycarbonate blade with an aircraft-grade aluminum hilt.
According to the sales pitch, the LaserSaber features "an ultrasmooth magnetic gravity system that can 'power up' and 'power down' the blade."
This may sound like a dream come true for legions of "Star Wars" fans, but there are some big, honking caveats involved. One is the following warning, which it annoyingly does not heed in its stuntman-enacted promo video: "Do not participate in any form of fencing or swordplay. Fencing or swordplay will cause serious damage to people, pets, or property." This means you, Wampug owners.
The Spyder warnings about protective eyewear, skin burning, and eye-searing laser madness are still in effect.
Finally, there are no sound effects. All those years of making "vhooom" noises with your mouth won't be wasted.
Check out this promo video with its sweet powering-up and powering-down action and warnings that these are not toys and can have devastating consequences if used improperly. Then imagine yourself in an epic battle with Darth Maul. Vhooom! Vhooom! If you can do that, you don't actually need a laser that has the potential to blind you instantly. Seriously, "Star Wars" fans, your plastic lightsabers are still awesome and are way safer than a LaserSaber.