What do you get the James Bond villain who has everything?
Ah: here's something! How about a gold-plated spherical computer mouse that looks elegant and sinister at the same time? That might be just the thing!
At only $290, it's a steal. And as if its appearance weren't enough, the Sphere 2 boasts other features that would probably appeal to the sort of temperament possessed by a Blofeld or a No.
For instance, "its impenetrable surface eschews germs," Sphere 2 maker OreObject informs us, "and is easily sanitized if necessary." We wouldn't want our beloved white feline coming down with something after batting about a spherical mouse, now would we? A mouse covered with double-O cooties from a far too inquisitive
member former member of Her Majesty's Secret Service?
Besides, a fully sanitized mouse seems the perfect device to use when clicking that drop-down-menu option that will unleash germ warfare on 99.9 percent of the human race. (You remember that menu option, don't you? It's the one right between "Bisect Guest with Laser Beam" and "Convert Guest to Shark Food.")
But that's not all. The Sphere 2 is also "completely recyclable, [so] you can feel confident of making a smart environmental decision." You wouldn't want to set a bad example for that remaining 0.1 percent of humanity--your new master race would wind up covering the planet with trash in no time.
The Sphere 2 is made with surgical grade stainless steel and, in addition to the gold-plated version, is available in titanium ($185) and platinum ($320). It even comes with a "luxurious, elegant traveling pouch" (microfiber for the titanium number, suede for the other two).
Oh wait. Shoot. You'd better think twice about this. Q would be astonished--it looks like this fancy gadget is everything but wireless. And once your villainous pal gets over his initial cackling delight and realizes that, he might just feed you to the sharks.