Paging Dr. Sexytime. You're needed in the bedroom, stat! Your iPhone isn't just for making calls, listening to music, and surfing the Web. It's now your personal sex coach.
The $3.99 Dr. Sexytime Advanced Sex Guide app first starts up with a blast of '70s porn music to get you in the mood. Scroll through the tastefully illustrated sex position guide and give star ratings to your favorites. It's like Netflix for lovemaking.
You can e-mail "Doctor's Orders" for trying various positions to your iPhone contacts, but be sure to double-check the address before you hit send. You don't want to accidentally e-mail the "Wheelbarrow" to your entire office.
The recently updated Dr. Sexytime features a series of position playlists that help you recreate scenes from famous movies. A sultry British woman gives you verbal cues when it's time to change moves. "Basic Instinct Mix" is the first one on the list. Fortunately, there are no instructions involving an icepick.
"South Park" fans can even enact their own version of the deleted puppet sex scene from the Team America: World Police.
Apple isn't keen on letting porn into the App Store. Scientific sexy apps, however, are a-okay. Dr. Sexytime is so committed to its educational mission that it dedicates an entire section to sexual homework. Sharing a secret with your partner or vacationing at an adults-only resort sounds like a lot more fun than calculus.
Dr. Sexytime--which is restricted to those over 17--has some giggle-worthy features like the sex position randomizer and a collection of tips that exhort you to have sex first and do household chores later. It may be destined to be a big hit at bachelorette parties.