World's smallest microwave also has world's worst name

How many marketing goons did it take to come up with "Beanzawave?"

(Credit: Daily Mail)

In what appears to be another case of "good idea, poor execution," Heinz has partnered with Frazer Designers to invent the world's smallest USB-powered microwave. The little device aims to satisfy the appetites of office workers who have so much work on their plate they can't find the time to step outside for a bite to eat. Stranger still, the microwave is called...the Beanzawave (what?!).

The small turquoise device is officially the smallest microwave ever invented, measuring a tiny 7.4 inches tall, 6.2 inches wide, and 5.9 inches deep. Much like today's external hard drives, the microwave is entirely powered by the USB bus on a computer, so there's no extra plug necessary. If you're wondering how it'll nuke your food, the answer has the Microwave Association (what?!) worried as well. Gordon Andrews and Stephen Frazer, the masterminds and "microwave experts" (what?!) behind the Beanzawave claim the device uses phone radio frequencies that produce the heat necessary to cook a single serving of food in Heinz's proprietary "Snap Pots."

Bill takes a break and enjoys a nice pot of poison.

(Credit: Daily Mail)

All right wait, what?! Phone radio frequencies to cook our food? Apparently we've totally forgotten our fear that cell phones are carcinogenic and catapulted directly to ingestion. Andrews claims it's actually possible to adjust these radio frequencies to cook different foods, including pies, burgers, soup, or tea. He also suggests powering the Beanzawave with lithium ion batteries for campers and fishermen who want hot food in the field.

This prototype isn't getting very good feedback from the Microwave Association, and they're pretty sure this miniature technology won't ever see the light of day. I'm with them. But Heinz is sticking to the plan and says the final production decision rests in the hands of public feedback, so let's hear it: would you feel comfortable eating food out of a microwave powered by your computer using phone radio frequencies? Leave a comment and let us know!

(Source: DailyMail)

[dude7895]

I wouldn't say no the first time...

[shiningdevil]

I do think it'll be convenient to have your very own little microwave sitting around your desk for when you want to heat up that leftover burger or something you have. But I would feel really uncomfortable eating a burger knowing that got heated up by means of phone radio frequencies.. So unless they find another method of heating up the food, I think I'll pass.

And.. Beanzawave? Huh?!

[jessehattabaugh]

I have wanted a camping sized microwave for ages! I bike tour, and we need a lot of carbs. Oatmeal is great for this, but you have to set up a camping stove and carry fuel around just to heat up some water. I'm a modern guy and like to have a charged cell-phone so I already have solar charging devices that can power USB devices. I'm not to impressed with the little proprietary "Snap-Pots", and honestly this thing looks a little too much like an Easy-bake Oven. If someone were to make a similar device, even if it only boils water, I think it would be very popular with campers.

[zizzybaloobah]

We are bathed in radio frequencies and other radiation constantly. Why *not* use it to cook some food.

[Captain_Morrison]

totally agreed

Sure, I'd go for this. Looks intriguing for portable food situations.

[theblogasaurus]

how about the oven that uses lasers to cook your food... that sounds a little scarier than radio waves to me!
see what im talking about here http://www.theblogasaurus.com/

<3 blogasaurus

[howelldub]

Here comes the funcooker!

[AmbientShadow]

AAAAAAahahahhahaha

[isting]

I can't believe a joke from 30 Rock is becoming reality. Is it possible for this version of the "Fun Cooker" to become a dirty joke?

I'd be freaked out knowing how it's powered. I probably would've tried it if i didn't know all of this, first hand.

[nickdallas1]

Jeff totally needs to cook his old Mogul in there to get rid of it. Let his old POS phone battle to the death with the radioactive phone radio frequencies of the mighty Beanzawave. Assuming, that is, if Jeff ever gets his Pre working 100%.

[Miko34]

Well, Heinz does make good ketchup, so I have to trust their USB electronics.

Stupid Name. Stupid Color. Stupid Idea.
I have too much crap on my desk already.

Maybe if this was pure solar powered and used for camping or tailgating. Maybe.
But this goes into the category of "what were they thinking?"

I'm sorry. Keep inventing. Don't let these comments dissuade you, but this is something we don't need. I'd like to keep my coffee hot, does it do that? Why do I need beans every day? If it does more than just beans ... why name it that?

In the end, I believe this is all just a marketing ploy to get free Heinz advertising in the news so that people remember to go to the store and buy their relish.

[PolishSausageDitka]

Every time you use a microwave you are bombarding your food with electromagnetic radiation not unlike the radiation that your cell phone emits and picks up on to make a call with respect to frequency. The difference is intensity. In a microwave oven the frequency and amplitude is calibrated to excite individual water molecules in a microwave oven which, in turn, heats your delicious beans. Microwave ovens focus a lot of this radiation in one small area (the amount of photoelectric energy exerted per inch is going to be MANY orders of magnitude higher on a surface in a microwave than, say, on the surface of your brain while you gab on your phone about how awesome/attractive you are). Cell phone radiation, like all radio frequency radiation it is non-ionizing, meaning its not going to change your DNA, i.e. your not going to get cancer from your microwave or your cell phone. Show me peer reviewed material in a reputable medical journal that proves me wrong, you won't find it.

[ErnieTheBear]

I'm thinking of all sorts of inappropriate uses for a magnetron that works off USB! Assuming this thing actually works, of course.

[dmlpc]

It is now irrefutable that cell phones and other sources (microwave) of RF and EMF's cause brain cancer and a host of other acute and chronic conditions. Brain surgeon Vini Kuhrana of Australia and many other scientists around the world involved in research think that we are facing a health debacle that will eclipse tobacco and asbestos combined. There are thousands of
studies that support these statements coming mostly from European countries who have been aggressive about research while there is not one ongoing study in the United States. Portland OR and Los Angeles have adopted resolutions challenging the 1996 telecommunications act that prohibits using health concerns as criteria to question the placement of a cell tower. Telecoms will one day face huge liability suits and accountability. Schools and city councils should be lobbied for change and wi fi should be taken out of schools and libraries. RF and EMF health issues should be taught in schools alongside the dangers of tobacco and alcohol. Our educators have a moral and legal obligation to protect our children from toxic environments.

Wake up from the microwave trance.
[CNET editor's note: Prohibited spam deleted.]

[minjae0810]

It should be the "Micro" Wave

[John_Wahlers]

Does Justin Yu have an editor? Saying "USB bus" is like saying "PIN number" or "ATM machine" or "NIC card". USB = Universal Serial Bus, PIN = Personal Identification Number, ATM = Automated Teller Machine, NIC = Network Interface Card. To remove redundancies, we don't usually call something a Universal Serial Bus Bus or a Personal Identification Number Number, etc.

[hazy07]

It takes my 1000 watt microwave about a minute to heat a cup of java. USB 2 allows 1/2 amp at 5 volts = 21/2 watts. Seems like it ought to take about 400 minutes to heat a cup of water, or it is a scam.