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March 20, 2009 6:00 AM PDT

Seduction tips for 'Star Trek' nerds

by Eric Franklin

(Credit: Genki)

Guys, if you're planning to meet that special someone at your next "Star Trek" convention, there are a few things you need to know.

First, don't try to hide your geekiness--admittedly this would be difficult with a Ferengi prosthetic attached to your head. If she's at the convention she's just as big a Trekker as you are (especially if she's cosplaying). Just be yourself.

Second, be nice, but not too nice. In general, woman like a challenge and don't want to feel like you're a pushover right off the bat--save that impression for when you get married. A little good-natured teasing about the size of her Betleh here and there goes a long way.

Third, consider that Star Trek cologne by Genki Wear we told you about recently--it's what got me thinking about this whole topic in the first place. It's coming in April. BAM! Just like that. She won't even know what hit her. I've heard that 60 percent of the time it works 100 percent of the time.

There will be three different fragrances. Tiberius is described as "difficult to define and impossible to refuse," according to Genki. It smells of sweet citron zest, black pepper, cedar, warm vanilla, white musk, and sandalwood. The hell? OK, scratch this one. Not nearly manly enough.

Next up is "Red Shirt," with the tagline "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" (LOL! Get it? Cause they always get killed...ahem). This one has base notes of leather and gray musk. Now we're talking. Although, what the hell does gray musk smell like exactly? Might want to research that before you buy.

Lastly is "Pon Farr." This one is actually for the ladies and is said to "drive him wild." Hmmm, you probably won't want to use this on any guys dressed as Klingons. Or maybe you do, if you're into that sorta thing.

Remember, your goal should be to have a good time and not take it personally if she isn't impressed by your ability to recall exactly what happens in season 2, episode 4 of the original series. If all else fails, though, persistence does work sometimes. And by persistence, I mean begging. Lots of begging.

Eric Franklin refused to write a bio, saying, "Why are you bothering me about this bio business again? If I wanted people to know more about me, I'd send them to the Inside CNET Labs Podcast" (shameless plug). E-mail Eric.
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Add a Comment (Log in or register) (14 Comments)
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by yanchineseguy March 20, 2009 7:16 AM PDT
Haha.. this is cool.
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by spolastre March 20, 2009 7:42 AM PDT
This is hilarious, but also informative. ;)
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by hassan_bin_sober March 20, 2009 8:29 AM PDT
The majority of 20 somethings seem to prefer the scent of vomit and Lysol.
It's only logical they would prefer the scent of Eau de Budweiser.
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by mediocrates--2008 March 20, 2009 10:46 AM PDT
"season 2, episode 39 of the original series"

*Snort* Everyone knows that season 2 only had 24 episodes, Dork! :p
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by monkeyman1140 March 20, 2009 1:17 PM PDT
I think wearing Red Shirt cologne is just asking for it. Why tempt fate.
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by Balloonknot March 20, 2009 1:59 PM PDT
Yeah right, that was the most troubling part of the article. There aren't 39 episodes in season 2!!!
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by efranklin March 20, 2009 3:22 PM PDT
Fine. I'll change the episode number...nerds :)
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by Balloonknot March 23, 2009 10:26 AM PDT
Thank you sir.
by Jedimasterchad March 20, 2009 3:56 PM PDT
"I've heard that 60 percent of the time it works 100 percent of the time. "

That's as much as "Sex Panther". Perhaps this cologne is worth checking out after all.
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by 250awd? March 21, 2009 8:04 AM PDT
Eric get your Star Trek information correctly. "Pon Farr " would not make Klingon guy go wild but would make VULCAN guys go wild. See episode of ST TOS (Star Trek The Original Series "Amok Time".
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by 250awd? March 21, 2009 8:08 AM PDT
Mr. Franklin, I do not know if my last comment went through so here goes it again. You are mistaken in "pon Farr". It would not make Klingons guy go wild, but VULCAN guys go wild. Please see ST TOS (Star Trek The Original Series) "Amok Time". And in case you are wondering, yes I have kisses a girl before (and married and kids).
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by EyeKnowIt March 21, 2009 12:44 PM PDT
Is there no limit to stupidity and time wasting articles??

How do I get a job that offers no value ?

As the girls say "who did she sleep with to get that promotion"
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by hnavp66 March 21, 2009 3:29 PM PDT
You know the funny part about your it's-stupid-unless-I'm-interested comment is that the very people you're poking fun at are responsible for most of the tech advances from the last 20 years. And the cool party people never saw it coming. Now you come to us for a job and we laugh at the irony every, single, day....
by jpmccloud01 March 21, 2009 8:16 PM PDT
OK, so look most people in the less than 30 set look at startrek not. The cologne thing is dorky, but sounds like a great geek thing to do. but what do I know I always use my live long and prosper sign on a date anyway. Wait let me say I don't date much get the picture. Be the geek, feel the geek, be happy
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