Editors' note: From now through the end of December, various Crave editors will be sharing their top five (mostly) tech-related wishes for the holiday season. See what we crave, and maybe you'll get some ideas!
1. An entirely wired tiny home. Have you heard about the tiny home movement? Basically, people are buying these storage containers-cum-homes and living in them. (Local San Francisco company--and, incidentally, my neighbor--Modern Cabana makes some beauties.) The movement is about downsizing to the bare essentials. Now, I'm all for decluttering, and I totally agree that I don't need many square feet in which to exist comfortably, but what I do need are three things: wireless Internet, a ton of television channels, and an HD TiVo.
So Santa or kindly benefactor, I would like, first, a large swath of land on the West Coast (easy, right?), and second, a tiny home (equipped with these three comforts) plopped right in the middle of it. Then I and my pet-sitting robot (see below) can live in peace and quiet, while the cats roam around our vast property, hunting down vermin.
2. A robotic cat-sitter. Do you know how much an in-home, human cat-sitter (who visits just to feed, water, and scoop your cats' litter) costs? A ton. Average where I live: 30 bucks a visit. But on the other hand, do you know how indebted to your friends and neighbors you'll be if you cajole them into watching your animals? Try a few nice dinners, a bottle of champagne, and the use of your car when they need to pick up something they bought on Craigslist, i.e. shove a couch into your Honda Accord.
So, for Christmas (and preferably before Christmas, so I can take advantage of it this vacation season), I want a robotic cat-sitter. Ideally, it would provide not only food, water, and litter box cleaning, but also love, cuddles, and a steady stream of water to spray at the little rascals when they lounge on the dining table. I'm thinking something Jetsons-esque; something with attitude that my cats can grow to love and respect, so that they don't see my leaving for a few days as an opportunity to shred the curtains and drink out of the toilet.
Maybe its feet could be a Roomba, and while it's chasing the cats (or giving them a ride), it can clean the floor! Shablam! Someone make this please.
I can just see myself dancing around the kitchen to Pandora as my personalized Internet radio streams from the sleek speaker box sitting discretely on my counter...bliss. If only the Squeezebox Boom would sync up with my XM Radio subscription. Sigh. Merge already, satellite radio companies!
4. HD projector. I worried for a long time about how to get art on the enormous blank wall in the loft I now call home. I can't afford huge, fancy-pants, framed paintings, and I've decided I'm too old for oversized posters, thus I feared I was doomed to Urban Outfitters' mass-produced schlock.
Then it dawned on me: what I really want on that wall is television, movies, old-school yule log images, video games, and, above all, Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock. And if someone asks me, "Where do you get off having an HD projector in your house while we're in a recession?" I'll say to them, cool as Jack Donaghy, "Well, what am I? A farmer?"
5. Planet Earth on Blu-ray. Have you seen this insanity? Disney bought the rights to Planet Earth and is releasing it--with the simplified title, Earth--on the big screen in time for Earth Day.
Yeah, I thought it was funny (in a capitalism-meets-entertainment-meets-environmentalism kind of way)--until the advertisement for it got to the polar bear part and I started weeping. Maybe the holidays bring out the emotions in me, but sitting in the front row of the theater waiting to see Slumdog Millionaire, I literally wept for that dang polar bear, swimming in his melted ocean, searching for food.
Through my tears, it hit me: Disney is brilliant to release this in theaters. And not only will I probably go see it (especially if it is on IMAX); I also want the Blu-ray set to screen on my PS3. Pretty please.