Depending on the day, the hour, the minute and the effects of my last pedicure, I change my mind about Facebook.
Why does Facebook think I may have changed something more?
My sex, for example.
I'm about as technical as the rules of Red Rover. I don't get particularly excited when someone invites me to bite their vampire or suck up their karma.
But I have had to seriously question myself and my life-choices when I received the following notice, splashed across my Facebook page.
It is headlined WHICH EXAMPLE APPLIES TO YOU?
The next line reads: Right now, your Mini-Feed may be confusing. Please choose how we should refer to you. It then gives me two choices.
The first: Czeslaw edited her profile.
The second: Czeslaw edited his profile.
(Czeslaw is my middle name. Please don't ask again. And don't ask me to join any Whale Beaters Club or whatever, OK?)
A number of things struck me about this. That number is two.
Number One: I have no bloody idea what a Mini-Feed is. A small packed lunch? Oral pleasures from one of the stars of The Love Guru? So I have no idea whether it's confusing me or not.
What I do know is that this note that leers out from my Facebook homepage has confused me even more than Madonna's choices in life.
Mainly because of Number Two: Look at the order they put the choices.
The female choice came first.
So, what, you Facebook folklorists think I have a funny name? Huh? Huh? And you think, therefore, that it is more likely that a woman would have a funny name than a man?
Alright, perhaps it is a somewhat unusual name.
But I have tried to help the situation a little, just for the sake of international relations, by putting a picture of an unshaven bloke in an Oakland A's cap right there on the page. It is the same picture as the one that casts a shadowy pall over this blog.
And yet they still think I may have had radical lower body surgery.
Could someone of either sex from Facebook please drop me a line and explain this?
It's affecting my ability to work. To think. And to socialize. Especially socialize.