I'm not fond of companies releasing their Super Bowl ads early.
But I am fond of IT departments being overworked trying to fix keyboards that have been wept over by helpless telemarketers and HR nonsense-peddlers.
For whatever your job, your sex, or your level of emotional maturity, you have surely shed buckets at the Budweiser Super Bowl ad, in which Juliet is played by a puppy and Romeo is played by a horse.
It's a daring tale. As the playwright John Ford would have no doubt said: "'Tis a pity he's a horse." Because here is the story of a difficult love. Puppies aren't supposed to love horses. Horses are supposed to love horses.
This relationship's poetic despair is exacerbated by the fact that there's quite an age gap here and the puppy is destined to be adopted.
This does not deter her. (I am assuming it's a her. This is, after all, an ad from a traditional midwestern beer company. Though, you know, even the midwest is changing.)
She will fight to see her Clydesdale. She will not let love die. Her feelings are her feelings, and let the rest of the world drink Miller bloody Lite.
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It is this determination, I believe, that has led this ad to already have enjoyed 19 million YouTube views at the time of writing.
This is the true America, one in which love knows no obstacles that cannot be overcome, one which shows you a large horse in a field to incite you to have a large beer in a bar.
Already, almost half the Super Bowl spots have been released onto YouTube, in the hope of garnering the emotional commitment of the connected masses.
I wonder, though, if any ad will be able to catch up to the fervor inspired by these two lovers.
I see a sequel in which the two of them run away together and shack up in a derelict barn somewhere south of St. Louis. The locals sneer as they walk down the street.
But the loving couple are happy. They have each other.
They also have a reality show.