"She wasn't splashing around too much."
With these words, Senior Constable Dean Kelly of the Melbourne (Australia) Water Police offered his description of a woman who had walked straight off the St. Kilda Pier and fallen into the water.
"She was just floating, really," he explained.
Perhaps she was in shock. Or perhaps her priority was to make sure that her phone was fine and that she hadn't missed anything in her News Feed.
Before she'd made her splashing exit from dry land, this Taiwanese woman, said to be in her mid-20s, had been glued to Facebook.
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Senior Constable Kelly told The Age that the woman couldn't swim but floated on her back.
She was in the water for around 20 minutes and was extremely apologetic when she emerged. She was lucky that a passer-by had alerted the authorities, as this all happened at 11:30 p.m. Monday local time.
You'll be worried about her phone, though. Well, the police said that she clutched it throughout and it appeared to be doing fine.
She's merely the latest in what is now a very long line of people who have fallen in the water while being far too engrossed in their phones.
Please don't ask if there's any hope for civilization. You already know the answer to that.