It's not easy being a sad, rich man.
People look at you as if you have a disease. They worry your sadness will infect them.
Yes, they want your money, but they don't want to think that they'll get it and become as sad as you.
Amazon's new campaign for the Kindle Fire HDX aims to solve the problems of the sad, rich man. It's giving him a happy, poor woman to talk to.
This is like "Pretty Woman," if you can imagine Julia Roberts never being able to see Richard Gere.
The minute a rich, sad man is in trouble, all he has to do is press the Mayday button on his fine tablet and Amazon's La Roberts -- called Amy -- will come to his rescue.
Amy will show him which buttons to press. She will draw on his screen. She will even tell him where he's gone wrong in life.
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Even his large dog becomes jealous of all the time he's spending chatting to Amazon's Mayday madam.
It's a very persuasive pitch for the sad, rich man. His Amy will be understanding. She will listen. She will even say hello to all his friends.
Real life, though, isn't like the movies.
What if the rich, sad man presses his Mayday button and sees a gruff, unshaven man called Jason?
What if Jason upbraids him for his technological stupidity? Not in a nasty way, but in that passive-aggressive West Coast way that tech-savvy Jasons sometimes have?
The great promise of a permanent Amy will be but dust.
And the rich, sad man will go back to being rich and sad.
His dog will be happy, though.