My dad always used to lose his temper watching wrestling.
He hated it when the bad guys won. He couldn't believe it when the good guys seemed certain to win and then, by some amazing inattention, were blindsided and went down.
Wrestling, you see, has always been for real. And yet, as the years have gone by, there have been suspicions that it's all for show.
Now one Reddit contributor has decided to expose World Wrestling Entertainment's alleged stranglehold on preprepared story lines.
As the Telegraph reports, someone with the handle Dolphins1925 has been posting WWE results before the pay-per-view fights ever happen.
(Yes, some people really do pay extra money to watch these things.)
This astonishing attempt at WrestliLeaks has taken many observers aback because Dolphins1925's information seems absurdly accurate.
Posting on Reddit's pro wrestling forum, he simply lists the winners of future WWE events.
For example, posted last Tuesday are the alleged outcomes of something called MITB. Which I do not believe stands for Mindless Idiots Tossing Barstools.
He is always kind enough to headline his posts "Spoilers," so that those who live in anticipation of large, sweaty people snarling at each other aren't upset.
More Technically Incorrect
Some speculate that he must be a WWE employee. However, the Telegraph quoted him as saying: "I am just a WWE fan like everyone else, and I am getting my information from a source who has VERY credible inside information regarding the outcomes (win/losses) of the matches themselves."
He claims that his motivation is quite logical: He wants to stop these kinds of leaks.
While you wrap that one around your shoulders and pummel it to within one breath of its life, may I tell you that WWE is unperturbed.
It issued a statement to Deadspin saying: "We may have a modern day Nostradamus on our hands. We might have to monitor these posts in advance of our next pay-per-view to see how good he or she really is."
The deeply cynical will conclude that WWE will simply change the outcomes in order to neutralize Dolphins1925's predictive powers.
Still, while the misguided torture themselves over revelations of almost predictable government secrets, committed wrestling fans are tearing at their innards over the fact that Dolphins1925 has predicted 38 results accurately.
If the results of WWE fights cannot be protected, then society is surely reaching its end.
When humankind's last hope of a pleasant sporting surprise is eliminated, where else is there to turn? Competitive cheer?
Sadly, a judge recently decided that this isn't even a sport.