"You people are all s***. Yelp s***, Reddits s***. Every s***. Come to here, I will f***ing show you all."
On reading these words in isolation, you might imagine they were written by someone whose senses had departed for chillier climes. Or perhaps merely by an exposed politician, contemplating a loss of fame and privileges.
But, no. These words actually adorn the Facebook page of Amy's Baking Company Bakery Boutique & Bistro in Scottsdale, Ariz.
The name is something of a mouthful, but the sentiments expressed by its management (yes, these words are from the management) are so broad and biting that they might stick in one or two craws.
This all began when this restaurant was featured last Friday on Gordon Ramsay's "Kitchen Nightmares."
Should you not be familiar with this show, it consists of the famed chef wafting into struggling restaurants and shouting at the owners a lot.
Amy's owners, Amy and Samy Bouzaglo, defeated Ramsay.
Indeed, on the show, he concluded: "After about 100 Kitchen Nightmares, I met two owners I could not help. It is because they are incapable of listening."
I can cheerily imagine that some of "Kitchen Nightmares" might be a touch staged. However, the Phoenix New Times reports that the unpleasantness at Amy's was very real -- so much so that the police were called.
One diner told the New Times that when he complained about an hour-long wait for a pizza, Samy Bouzaglo told him: "Why don't you go f*** yourself?"
At least that was a question.
On Facebook, the owners have made a statement. Or two or three.
They have been provoked by posters on Yelp, Reddit, and Facebook who have called them unpleasant things, such as "evil." This might have been incited by the revelation on the show that the owners keep all the servers' tips for themselves.
Still, those who post on Yelp and Reddit aren't automatically to be listened to or respected. How many people's tastes or opinions are truly valuable?
So how good can it be for a business to write on Facebook: "You are all little punks. Nothing. you are all nothing. We are laughing at you. All of you, just fools. We have God on our side, you just have your sites"?
At a time when silence might be advisable, the Bouzaglos offered such defiance as: "TO REDDIT. I FORBID YOU FROM SPREADING YOUR HATE ON THAT SITE. THIS IS MY FACEBOOK, AND I AM NOT ALLOWING YOU TO USE MY COMPANY ON YOUR HATE FILLED PAGE."
It's a charming thought that haters might need permission. But sometimes a fight truly has no victors. The recent history of so many countries proves this.
More Technically Incorrect
Such thinking doesn't seem to have entered Bouzaglo heads.
Hark at this: "WE ARE NOT FREAKING OUT. WE DO NOT CARE ABOUT A 'WITCH HUNT' I AM NOT A WITCH. I AM GODS CHILD. PISS OFF ALL OF YOU. F*** REDDITS, F*** YELP AND F*** ALL OF YOU. BRING IT. WE WILL FIGHT BACK."
The Bouzaglos insist on Facebook that they have a "multimillion business," so some might question why they would feel the need to appear on "Kitchen Nightmares."
Perhaps even more peculiar is Samy Bouzaglos' declaration that he is noting down all the names of his Facebook critics and will pursue legal action against them.
I believe that this is called a classy action lawsuit.
In the end, though, the only thing that might make it better is if they appeared on the next series of "Kitchen Nightmares" (I have a small feeling this might happen) and repented. America loves a comeback.
In the meantime, however, they must put up (or not) with Facebook comments such as this from Allie Stanton: "Amy, I am a waitress putting myself thru school, if you took my tips i would stab you."
Is there a smiley face after the comment? Of course there is.