Secret messenger? That sounds almost religious.

(Credit: Samsung screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET)

When Apple gives a new phone to a child, that child gets drunk and leaves it in a bar.

Samsung, on the other hand, is far more trusting.

A new teaser ad which is surely for its Galaxy S4 phone (clue: Tagline is "Be Ready 4 The Next Galaxy") offers a blond-haired boy who, for some unexplained reason, is being given the first of the new phones.

Jeremy Maxwell, aged, oh, perhaps 11, is being given the role of "Secret Messenger" for the new phone.

Why is he secret? And to whom must he deliver the message?

Come to think of it, what is the message? That there is a new Samsung phone? That Samsung is the new, cool cult to replace the old, uncool cult of Apple?

Jeremy, honestly, verges on the annoying. Which 11-year-old boy doesn't? He's all boyish enthusiasm and teeth.

He's like Ryan Seacrest before he discovered sarcasm.

But now he has the box, the one with the phone inside. The thing is, the neighbors will know. A little local girl has already expressed her nosiness. She looks bigger than he is.

This is "ET" meets "The Young And The Restless" meets "Doogie Howser" meets "The Wonder Years."

Is that a good thing? I am not sure.