Not everyone is a gamer.
It doesn't make these people old, sad or clueless -- any more than being a gamer makes someone entirely free of the hope of a significant other.
Conan O'Brien seems to like gaming about as much as he appreciates the skills of Jay Leno. And yet it fell upon him to review Halo 4, one of the quintessential joys of the gaming community.
His experience was a little uncomfortable.
As a nice, bearded man from his digital department tried to explain the riveting backstory to Halo, Conan was an homage to catatonia.
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He did perk up a little when a comely lady appeared on the screen to offer him some intelligence.
Disappointment set in, however, when he realized she was as artificial as Manti Te'o's girlfriend.
Still, after he disobeyed orders and the lovely Cortana character asked him to "take a girl for a ride," Conan found renewed hope. He began to lick his remote -- which is surely one step above kissing the GoDaddy nerd.
In the latter part, we discover that Conan has voiced part of the game.
Yes, he and Andy Richter play two characters who discuss area rugs. You didn't know?
It all ends in death and self-loathing -- like most comedians' careers, I suppose.