My remarkably imposing, draconian, single friend Taylor -- who's a girl -- tells me there are only two types of men: those who have two sheets on their bed and those who have one.
Similarly, there are two types of online travel sites: those where you bid and those where you don't.
It seems, however, that Priceline has tired of all that bidding. Which makes you wonder what they will do with the resurrected Negotiator, or, indeed, with whatever people used to think of Priceline.
In a campaign that launched three weeks ago, but is now given heightened exposure during the Super Bowl, Shatner is given a daughter.
A daughter whom he's cruelly locked up for 20 years to learn the art of deal-making.
Yet is the art of deal-making so useful now? The prices seem to be, well, the prices.
You feel that the frustrated daughter (played by Kaley Cuoco of "Big Bang Theory") want to toss her dad off a cliff, just as Priceline did to him not so many moons ago.
Priceline is easier. You don't have to bid. The daughter's education may have been something of a waste of time. Yes, like many state universities.
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Which means you have to learn how to calm your daughter down after 20 years of keeping her locked up in some remote mountain retreat with monks who look like they eat concrete for breakfast.
Priceline's solution is to make the daughter wander around telling people how you don't have to bid on Priceline anymore.
This seems especially mean.
If the Negotiator had any heart, he would have allowed her to become an artist, a counter-espionage agent or a 100-meter hurdler.
Instead, he keeps her in the family business, using her to mop up the confusion people might have about an online travel site.
She's really not happy about this. I foresee a family rift in the very near future. I foresee she gets herself a boyfriend to whom daddy takes a deep disliking. I foresee she takes drugs and revenge.